Child refuses to go

My friend lives in Massachusetts. Her 11 year old is refusing to come to California for a week over Xmas with Dad. Child does not want to spend two months each summer with Dad either. What can mom do if the child refuses to go and puts Mom in contempt of court?

Unless the father is mean to the child or abusive in some way, Mom can do all she can to strengthen the bond and send child anyway. It may be hard to do, but if this is a good father in the long run, it will work out. If father is a kind man, as soon as the child sees "Daddy", everything will be ok....

Legalbeagle, I received imnformation in my "you got mail" that you had posted something to me regarding the custody issue ie: Child refuses to go". Either I am fumble-fingered and can't find the thread, or it just didn't show up. Please reply again. Anxious to hear what you will say. Thanks

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

And what is BillyJean? Chopped liver?

She gave you very good suggestions and advice. In fact, it's exactly what I would have told you. You completely ignored her fine words to you, and didn't even bother to thank her in your recent post.

Not nice.

IAAL

[LegalBeagle]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by traveler [/i]
[B]Legalbeagle, I received imnformation in my "you got mail" that you had posted something to me regarding the custody issue ie: Child refuses to go". Either I am fumble-fingered and can't find the thread, or it just didn't show up. Please reply again. Anxious to hear what you will say. Thanks [/B][/QUOTE]

I replied to another thread you had posted to that has nothing to do with your situation.

I concur with both billyjean and IAAL in this matter.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, I am new to this and don't know the drill! I haven't checked back but once or twice and in truth, have had qualms about telling the whole story. Dad in this instance isn't really a very nice guy. Mom went to a shelter when she left him, not a physical abuser but a big time emotional abuser. He was a part of a project for the handicapped that I am involved in and was fired for verbal abuse of clients and sexual abuse of staff. Had us all fooled for years. His child is refusing to come this year, Mom is at her wits end, knowing she will be in contempt, but fully understanding why. Mom is in no position financially to go to court. The basic question stands, what happens if a child refuses to go. What can a parent do?

OOOPs, I forgot my add my "thank you" to each of you who took the time to answer. I REALLY do appreciate getting an insight into these types of problems and am grateful for all interest and advice!

Not much Dad can do if the child is sick! Mom doesn't have to let her sick child go. Probably not the best advice in the world, but the best I can offer if Mom can't afford a legal battle.

Terrible advice really because it teaches a child to lie. Mom will have to find some way to fight this legally. I'm in Virginia and have received a slap on the wrist for siding with my stepdaughter when she refused to visit her mother. Luckily I wasn't fined or given a few days at the expense of the state. I'd do it again if it was in the best interest of the child. I'd sell everything I have to fight for my kids. (Which, I have done before) Can Legal Aide assist her? It sounds like she may be stuck sending her child. Check with the clerk of court, perhaps she can file a motion to amend without an attorney. That way she can at least make the judge aware of her concerns and her child's feelings, maybe the childs age could have some bearing. I wish her luck.

[Edited by billyjean on 11-24-2000 at 11:19 AM]

Thanks for insight. I have just talked with Mom and she will probably attempt to send the kid! This is all compounded by the fact that no ticket has been bought and my advice to her is to wait a while, contact Dad and ask where the ticket is and if I'm right, he will whine and say he can't afford up-front cost and that fares are high etc, etc. They usually split the cost and Mom has usually bought ticket much earlier than this. He isn't the type to say he will get his child at any cost. Isn't it terrible when kids have to be the battle ground for these things.

It is terrible, but, unfortunately a fact of life. How some of these people became the way they are is beyond me. Is Mom responsible for half the cost? If not, she doesn't have to send the child? If Dad doesn't buy the ticket, she can do the right thing and have the child call Dad on Christmas eve to wish him a happy holiday, that is, if the child would like to. Tell her to be sure it's not her feelings the child is trying to honor. My stepdaughter didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with her Mom but she came to me later to see if she could call and wish her a happy thanksgiving. I told her she didn't need my blessing to call someone and let them know she loves them. It's very hard on the kids. My stepdaughter loves her mother, but feels, I'm her mother. Poor kids. It is tough on them. I wish your friend the best.

IAAL, THANKS FOR THE PAT ON THE BACK.

[LegalBeagle]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE [/i]
[B]And what is BillyJean? Chopped liver?
[/B][/QUOTE]

I love that expression and use it often.. but do you know how few people actually eat liver ?? ... Liver and Onions in gravy .. mmmmmmm

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by LegalBeagle [/i]
[B][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE [/i]
[B]And what is BillyJean? Chopped liver?
[/B][/QUOTE]

I love that expression and use it often.. but do you know how few people actually eat liver ?? ... Liver and Onions in gravy .. mmmmmmm
[/B][/QUOTE]


Mmmm yummy, fried liver and onions..*S* I have this butcher shop in a town nearby that keeps me supplied with calves livers.. they are alot better, tastier and tender.. then the full grown livers and usually do not even charge me for them.. *S*

[LegalBeagle]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by LadyBlu [/i]
[B][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by LegalBeagle [/i]
[B][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE [/i]
[B]And what is BillyJean? Chopped liver?
[/B][/QUOTE]

I love that expression and use it often.. but do you know how few people actually eat liver ?? ... Liver and Onions in gravy .. mmmmmmm
[/B][/QUOTE]


Mmmm yummy, fried liver and onions..*S* I have this butcher shop in a town nearby that keeps me supplied with calves livers.. they are alot better, tastier and tender.. then the full grown livers and usually do not even charge me for them.. *S* [/B][/QUOTE]

It worries me that we have so much in common ...

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

A la Hannible Lecter:

Mmmmm, Chiante, Fava Beans and Liver (slurp, slurp, slurp).

IAAL

[QUOTE][B]Mmmm yummy, fried liver and onions..*S* I have this butcher shop in a town nearby that keeps me supplied with calves livers.. they are alot better, tastier and tender.. then the full grown livers and usually do not even charge me for them.. *S* [/B][/QUOTE]

It worries me that we have so much in common ... [/B][/QUOTE]

LOL, yes it is.. I do have some english blood in me.. I am actually a Heinz 57 to tell the truth.. You are from the UK right?