Child w/developmental delays

My husband's ex-wife has custody of their 2 yr. old son. Since she moved him several states away, we hadn't seen him since Christmas visitation until last week.

When we had him for Thanksgiving last yr., we took him to the doctor because he was sick. The doctor told us that he believes my stepson has developmental problems due to 1 of 3 things - autism, mild downs syndrome, or severe neglect on the mother's part. When I spoke w/his mother about his delays, she said he was fine & if he still couldn't walk by the time he was 2 (he was 15 mos. at the time) she would have him seen by a neurologist. He turned 2 last mo.

We have him for 5 wks. visitation now & he still seems to be very behind. He has a hard time walking, cannot say more than 5 words, & avoids looking anyone in the eye. He is also very scared of any loud noise (even laughter). He had no marks on him to suggest physical abuse but since he lives so far away we don't know exactly what goes on in the house.

I would like to have him seen by someone from Early Intervention to see if he is behind most kids his age. Can we do this? Can we take him to the doctor to see if he still has the same opinion w/out the mother's permission since she has custody of him?

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

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[This message has been edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE (edited October 13, 2000).]

Thanks for your advice. I knew that in an emergency, we could take him for medical treatment. However, someone told me that because she has sole custody of him, we could get in trouble for going behind her back to have him seen. There wasn't anything in the decree that stated that my husband couldn't take him to be seen. We just wanted to go about things the right way. (We live in Ohio.)

I reread the papers we have. It states that she has legal custody and shall be the residential parent but does not state "sole" custody.