M
Mugs23
Guest
Hi-
I originally posted something about custody of a 3 1/2 year old a couple of weeks ago. The situation has gotten a little worse. Let me explain everything. I am the fiancee to a man who has a wonderful 3 1/2 year old son who lives with his mother in Maine (we live in NY). Father & mother were never married, and there was never a court order or anything legal done about child support/custody.
The child lived with his father (my fiancee) in Maine since he was born (the mother really didn't want much to do with her son, which by the way is her second child - she does not have custody of her older son). He never asked for child support from her, even though he was working 2 jobs and going to school, making less than she did a week. He had his son 5 or 6 days of the week and was getting no help except from his grandmother who would watch the child while my fiancee was at school/work.
Fast forward - he meets me and decides to move in with me and get a job down here, where the economy is MUCH better than Maine. The mother now has to take the child full time almost because she doesn't want my fiancee to take the boy with him. So the b.s. statrs...
She will pick him (my fiancee) apart/scream at him in front of their child. She pushes his buttons, talks about child support and how it's not enough, etc etc. By the way, my fiancee is paying what the state guidelines require, according to the calculation table, which is $68.80 a week. The mother thinks she deserves $107 a week because that's what the table says for their combined incomes - she never bothered to do the math. Still - there has been no legal intervention. My fiancee (and I sometimes) are driving from NY to ME every other weekend if not more to see his son - so the mother can work on weekends & get "good tips" (she's a waitress).
Now. She has the child 5 days a week. Her older son is with his father (a different man, mind you) the majority of the week. She works 3 days a week. Not even - 1/2 day Friday, all day Saturday & 1/2 day Sunday. Isn't that voluntary underemployment? Her parents have offered to help put & babysit so she can work more, but she won't. She claims she doesn't make enough $$ - she has a degree as a medical assistant, but won't do that because it's "boring". My fiancee has offered to pay for a babysitter or for day care (the child doesn't assoicate with anyone his own age) - but she won't do it.
As I said before, my fiancee moved so far away to get a better job - more money and benefits for him and his son, which he didn't have in Maine. Her employer told her that they had to cut her insurance because she wouldn't work 40 hrs a week. He would like to see his son more...and last weekend we caught her in a lie. She cut into my fiancee's time woth his son because "her car was broken" and she needed a ride to her parent's camp that week (this was planned, but she wasn't supposed to leave that Sat at 8am). My fiancee had his son for less than 12 hours that week. Who do we see driving her car around later that day? Her live-in boyfriend, who doesn't have a car.
Wow I'm sorry this is so long winded...
This is not the first time she's cut in on his visitation time because it's more convenient for her.
Also - her house is disgusting - your shoes stick to the floor when you walk in. She won't take the child to the doctor if he's sick because she doesn't believe in them. SHe refuses to send the proper clothes for her child when my fiancee picks him up. (all the clothes he has for his son are in boxes in her house until he & I get our own place settled). The child has to get his own breakfast & lunch because she won't get out of bed. He eats cereal bars and Cheez-Its. She smokes pot - a lot of pot, and has done it in front of the child (yes there are witnesses. Latley she has been threatening him with "papers" that say the child lives in Maine with her (physical custody?) and that my fiancee makes x amount of dollars a year while she only makes x amount (which she is underreporting). That was a couple months ago and we still haven't seen these papers.
Once my fiancee and I are settled, does it sound like it's feasable for him to go for full custody?? If not - what can these "papers" do against him? Thanks for any feedback...
I originally posted something about custody of a 3 1/2 year old a couple of weeks ago. The situation has gotten a little worse. Let me explain everything. I am the fiancee to a man who has a wonderful 3 1/2 year old son who lives with his mother in Maine (we live in NY). Father & mother were never married, and there was never a court order or anything legal done about child support/custody.
The child lived with his father (my fiancee) in Maine since he was born (the mother really didn't want much to do with her son, which by the way is her second child - she does not have custody of her older son). He never asked for child support from her, even though he was working 2 jobs and going to school, making less than she did a week. He had his son 5 or 6 days of the week and was getting no help except from his grandmother who would watch the child while my fiancee was at school/work.
Fast forward - he meets me and decides to move in with me and get a job down here, where the economy is MUCH better than Maine. The mother now has to take the child full time almost because she doesn't want my fiancee to take the boy with him. So the b.s. statrs...
She will pick him (my fiancee) apart/scream at him in front of their child. She pushes his buttons, talks about child support and how it's not enough, etc etc. By the way, my fiancee is paying what the state guidelines require, according to the calculation table, which is $68.80 a week. The mother thinks she deserves $107 a week because that's what the table says for their combined incomes - she never bothered to do the math. Still - there has been no legal intervention. My fiancee (and I sometimes) are driving from NY to ME every other weekend if not more to see his son - so the mother can work on weekends & get "good tips" (she's a waitress).
Now. She has the child 5 days a week. Her older son is with his father (a different man, mind you) the majority of the week. She works 3 days a week. Not even - 1/2 day Friday, all day Saturday & 1/2 day Sunday. Isn't that voluntary underemployment? Her parents have offered to help put & babysit so she can work more, but she won't. She claims she doesn't make enough $$ - she has a degree as a medical assistant, but won't do that because it's "boring". My fiancee has offered to pay for a babysitter or for day care (the child doesn't assoicate with anyone his own age) - but she won't do it.
As I said before, my fiancee moved so far away to get a better job - more money and benefits for him and his son, which he didn't have in Maine. Her employer told her that they had to cut her insurance because she wouldn't work 40 hrs a week. He would like to see his son more...and last weekend we caught her in a lie. She cut into my fiancee's time woth his son because "her car was broken" and she needed a ride to her parent's camp that week (this was planned, but she wasn't supposed to leave that Sat at 8am). My fiancee had his son for less than 12 hours that week. Who do we see driving her car around later that day? Her live-in boyfriend, who doesn't have a car.
Wow I'm sorry this is so long winded...
This is not the first time she's cut in on his visitation time because it's more convenient for her.
Also - her house is disgusting - your shoes stick to the floor when you walk in. She won't take the child to the doctor if he's sick because she doesn't believe in them. SHe refuses to send the proper clothes for her child when my fiancee picks him up. (all the clothes he has for his son are in boxes in her house until he & I get our own place settled). The child has to get his own breakfast & lunch because she won't get out of bed. He eats cereal bars and Cheez-Its. She smokes pot - a lot of pot, and has done it in front of the child (yes there are witnesses. Latley she has been threatening him with "papers" that say the child lives in Maine with her (physical custody?) and that my fiancee makes x amount of dollars a year while she only makes x amount (which she is underreporting). That was a couple months ago and we still haven't seen these papers.
Once my fiancee and I are settled, does it sound like it's feasable for him to go for full custody?? If not - what can these "papers" do against him? Thanks for any feedback...
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