Dead-beat mother

This story is a bit long but here goes:

My boyfriend has sole custody of his 9 year old son. His ex lives one state away and barely sees him. Excuses have ranged from she is sick, needs an operation and the best one was she was going into the witness protection program for the weekend. The worse part is she owes back child support of over 18,000.00. He has a court order that she should pay child support. We have contacted our local DOR in MA and have not gotten very far. She recently had an insurance settlement and we tried to have the MA DOR intercept it but for some reason the other state gave her ex-boyfriend (she has a younger son with him which the ex-boyfriend has custody) most of the money and we found out she also got a cut of the money. She is remarried with no other children and will have a job for a week or two and then quit and so on, and so on. Always excuses why she can't pay or can't keep a job.

Here are some questions:
1. Isn't it the first child in most cases that is considered first for child support purposes?

2. Should we hire a lawyer to start digging into this situation more? re: the insurance settlement went to her and other ex while we sit with 18,000 back child support owed.

3. Is there someone else besides the DOR that can help us out? We've contacted senators and no one seems to care she's a dead beat mother.

4. Why does it seem you hear so much about dead beat dads but yet a woman can go about her life and forget she has an obligation to her child?

5. Just any advice on this would be helpful. It's a sad situation when a mother doesn't bother too much with her own child and feels it's not her obligation to help out with his upbringing or help out financially.
Thanks!

You have two issues. One is the arrearage on child support. Most states have enacted criminal statutes dealing with "flagrant nonsupport". Persons obligated to pay child support can be summoned to criminal court and face criminal punishment in most jurisdictions for "flagrant nonsupport". The amount of arrearage you indicate would substantiate flagrant nonsupport in most jurisdictions.

Second, collection of the child support is a civil matter. Most often, collection is effected through wage garnishment when the parent obligated to pay support fails to do so voluntarily. However, unemployed noncustodial parents cannot have wages garnished if they do not have a job. Another possible remedy would be to approach the Court which initially entered the order for child support and ask that the noncustodial parent be held in contempt of court for failing to abide by the terms of the child support order.

You should consult an attorney to further explore your options on both a criminal and civil front as it relates to your right to receive child support.

PS -- Many jurisdictions allow for a reduction in child support obligations if the noncustodial parent has other children.

helpusout, I am living thru a similar situation. My husband has sole custody of his children and his ex wife doesn't pay her child support and makes excuses about it. We have contacted our attorney general's office and they have refused to help us, also. Since your boyfriend is owed over $10,000 in back child support, (we are just short of that amount, so we have to wait) he could get help from a Child Support Enforcement division based out of Texas. Try going to [url="http://www.supportkids.com."]www.supportkids.com.[/url] They have an application that you can print out and mail to them. Hope this helps. Good luck and keep me posted!

Thanks so much. I will check into that!!! It is very frustrating when the other parent refuses to help out and to think that so many get away with it. Hopefully we can get something going soon again. Thanks again!

Thanks so much! I've heard that they have tried to crack down on dead beat parents but it's very frustrating when you are dealing with a DOR department that doesn't seem to think that 18,000 back support is worth the effort and time to really go after her. It seems that her other ex is getting most of the money somehow which really puzzles us when he is constantly moving from one place to another. We will look into the options we have and I'll keep you posted! Thanks again!

I know what you mean....it is very frustrating. My husband works with a guy who was late on one child support payment and the police went to their workplace to arrest the guy. It shouldn't matter whether it is a male or female, but it does. How unfortunate for these children who are involved. Yes, definitely keep me posted!