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Do Step-Parents have any rights?

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Raven238

Guest
My husband and I just recently moved to Illinois. His children, my step-children live in Louisiana with their mother. The youngest child who is twelve years old has wanted to live with us even before we moved from Louisiana. They have joint custody but she is the "domicile parent". Can she chose where she wants to live? If we get involved in a court battle, do I have any rights as a step-mother? If so, what are they and where can I find out more information? I love these children with all of my heart. I have been a "mother" to them, cared for them when they were sick, helped with homework, went to school functions, and been there for them whenever they needed me. Should'nt I have some rights?
 


Jenifa

Member
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Raven238:
My husband and I just recently moved to Illinois. His children, my step-children live in Louisiana with their mother. The youngest child who is twelve years old has wanted to live with us even before we moved from Louisiana. They have joint custody but she is the "domicile parent". Can she chose where she wants to live?

~ Why does she/he want to live with you? If there is any abuse/neglect, then your husband has a chance to try to obtain custody. The mother would still have visitation rights, even if he did obtain custody. What about the older child?
Courts are hesitant to seperate siblings. Even in the foster care system, as of late, they place siblings together.


If we get involved in a court battle, do I have any rights as a step-mother?

~No...you have no rights as a stepmother. Unless the bio-mother wanted to relinquish her parental rights, in order for you to adopt (hence, making you the legal parent), then you won't ever have rights to anything with the child. If your husband obtained custody, you may be granted permission by him, to sign for school, to obtain student information for his children, obtain medical treatment, etc. Still you'd have no legal rights, as he can take those privileges away, should things not work out between you and him.


I love these children with all of my heart. I have been a "mother" to them, cared for them when they were sick, helped with homework, went to school functions, and been there for them whenever they needed me. Should'nt I have some rights?

~ All you do or have done for them is simply out of the kindness of your heart. It doesn't give you any legal standing in court.

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LegalBeagle

Senior Member
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Raven238:
My husband and I just recently moved to Illinois. His children, my step-children live in Louisiana with their mother. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If you both care so much for the children, why did you move 5000 miles away from them ? Surely this has had a huge impact on visitation.
 

MySonsMom

Senior Member
Why does she want to live with you guys rather than the Mother? Unless there is abuse or neglect you can prove on the Mother, you most likely won't get very far..As a StepMother you have no legal rights regarding the stepchildren..anything and everything you do for them is a gift and courtasy on their/your part. Since you are married to their Father, you have obligations as a parent to the stepkids, but legal wise you don't.

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-
 
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Raven238

Guest
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LegalBeagle:
If you both care so much for the children, why did you move 5000 miles away from them ? Surely this has had a huge impact on visitation.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

We moved because his ex caused so much trouble. He was a police officer in La. He sapnked the eldest one night and his ex called the cops on him for abuse to his child. The accusations were false of course and even the child told the police that her father did not abuse her. It was antics like this that drove us away. We couldn't handle it anymore. We love our girls, but we had to get away from the ex before something bad happened.

 
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XGermanGirl

Guest
I know exactly what your going through. I'm in the same situation. My hubby's ex moved to Arizona with the kids. We are in WV and now the kids(13,10) want to come back. We are trying to file the papers on our own without having to hire an attorney but there are some difficulties. The ex wants to send the kids before the divorce decree modification is final but what about child support? The first available date for a court hearing will be 15Feb01. We'll still have to pay the child support until then. And we are trying to find out how to get temporary custody so the kids can go ahead and come.
But the worst part is: You, as the step-parent, always get treated badly. Whether it's the Family Law Master or the Child Advocate. It doesn't matter!
They look down at you if you don't want to be involoved in the children's lives but then again,even though they live in your house and you are just like a mother to them, they treat you like your a stranger to the kids. I do understand in some way, but then again, they could be a little nicer and take our(step-parents) feelings into consideration.
I'm not positive but I think, once the child turns 14, her opinion does influence the court's decision(but that may differ in your state).
You can get more information regarding child custody and child support at www.nolo.com.
To your question: "Shouldn't step-parents have some rights?" - They should but unfortunately, they don't!
 

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