DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT SHORT AS I CAN.WELL MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE YEARS.WE LIVED TOGETHER FOR TWO YEARS AND TEN MONTHS BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED.WE WERE MARRIED THIS PAST JUNE.HE HAS A MENTAL PROBLEM.BIO-POLAR DISORDER AND MANIC DEPRESSION. I FOUND THAT OUT ABOUT THREE OR FOUR MONTHS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.BUT ANY WAY,HIS MOTHER OR HIS FAMILY WAS THERE FOR HIM.HIS MOTHER WAS NEVER THERE FOR HIM EVEN AS A CHILD. BUT HE MOVED IN WITH ME AFTER I FOUND OUT HE WAS SICK. I DIDN'T ASK HIM TO. HE JUST STARTED STAYING AND MOVING CLOTHES IN.OKAY.NO ONE WANTED TO BE THERE FOR HIM AT ALL. BUT EVERY TIME HE GOT SICK HIS MOTHER STUCK HIM IN THE HOSPITAL. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO SEE HIM AT ALL. HE WAS IN EASTERN STATE FOR THREE MONTHS AND SHE WENT WITH ME TWICE.I WENT EVERY OTHER DAY.I WANTED TO LEAVE HIM BUT HE ASK ME NOT TO AND I SAID IF IT WAS ME I WOULDN'T WANT ANY ONE TO JUDGE ME.OKAY.I APPLYED FOR SSI FOR HIM IN JANUARY OF 1999.AFTER THEN HIS MOTHER AND A COUPLE OF HIS COUSINS STARTED TELLING HIM HE SHOULD LEAVE ME.ESPECIALLY HIS MOTHER.THE ONLY TIME SHE WANT TO SEE HIM IS IF HE HAVE MONEY.LIKE INCOME TAX TIME.BUT ANY WAY,IN OCTOBER OF 1999 I TOOK HIM TO SEE HIS LAWYER AND THE LAWYER TOLD HIM IT WOULDN'T BE LONG NOW AND HE TOLD HIS MOTHER AND SHE TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME.SHE ALWAYS GET HIM CONFUSED AND UPSET. SHE STARTS ALOT OF CONFUSION IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. HE GOT SICK A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER.SHE CALLED FOR US TO COME AROUND THERE SO WE DID.I NEVER ASK HIM TO STOP SEEING HIS MOTHER. BUT WE GOT THERE AND THEY WENT TO THE KITCHEN TO TALK AS USUAL. WE SIT DOWN AND HE STARTED TELLING HER HE FOUND SOME ONE THAT HE WAS GOING TO MARRY. I SAID I WAS LEAVING AND HE SAID IF I DIDN'T TAKE HIM I WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE EITHER.I GOT TO THE CAR BUT HE WOULDN'T LET ME IN. I WAS EIGHT MONTHS PREGANANT.HE GRABBED ME BY THE NECK AND HE PUSHED ME INTO THE POINT OF THE CAR. I ASK HIS MOTHER TO CALL THE POLICE. SHE JUST LAUGHED.WHEN HE PUSHED ME INTO THE POINT ON THE DOOR HE SLASHED MY BACK OPENED FROM THE MIDDLE ACROSS TO THE MIDDLE OF MY ARM. THEN HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM TO STOP. HE GRABBED HER BY THE NECK AND THREW HER ACROSS THE YARD. HER HUSBAND CALLED THE POLICE AND THEY TOOK HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. HIS MOTHER KEEPS TELLING HIM HE CAN KILL ME AND GET NO TIME BECAUSE OF HIS ILLNESS.THIS WAS ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.MONDAY WAS HIS HEARING TO DETERMIN WHETHER THEY WERE GOING TO KEEP HIM OR NOT.HE TOLD THE DOCTORS THAT HE WAS TIRED BECAUSE HE HAVEN'T BEEN TO SLEEP.HE APOLOGIZED AND THEY LET HIM GO.HE CAME BACK HERE AND SLEPT UNTIL WEDNESDAY. HE CALLED HIS MOTHER.HE SAID HE WAS MOVING OUT. I WAS GLAD OF THAT.HE CAME TO SEE ME EVERY DAY. THEN SATURDAY AGAIN WE WERE AT HIS AUNTS HOUSE AND HIS MOTHER CAME. HE ASK COULD HE GET THE REST OF HIS CLOTHES. I SAID YES. I TOOK HIM TO GET THE CLOTHES AND I GOT BACK TO HIS AUNTS HOUSE AND EVERY ONE WAS GONE.HE STARTED YELLING AND I BENT OGVER TO POP THE TRUNK AND HE TRYED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE. I TURNED MY HEAD AND HE PUSHED MY EARRING IN MY HEAD.HE TOLD ME TO TAKE HIM TO HIS OTHER AUNTS HOUSE AND I SAID NO. HE SID HE WOULD TAKE THE CAR. I TOLD HIM TO GO AHEAD.HE GRABBED ME BY MY HAIR AND TOLD ME TO TOOK HIM. WE STARTED DRIVING AND HE GRABBED THE WHEEL AND SAID WE WERE GOING TO DIE TOGETHER.I TOOK HIM TO THE AUNTS HOUSE AND HE GRABBED ME BY THE NECK AND CHOKED SO HARD I COULDN'T HEAR OR SEE STRAIGHT.THEN HE PUSHED ME OUT THE CAR.I TOOK A WARRANT OUT ON HIM. HE WENT TO JAIL BUT HE GOT RIGHT OUT.THEY ONLY GAVE HIM 30 DAYS SUSPENDED WITH 18 WKS OF DOMESTIC VOILENCE MEETS.HE CAME BACK HERE.WE WERE MARRIED IN JUNE AND HE WAS APPROVED FOR SSI AND HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM AGAIN TO MOVE OUT AND SHE WHAT HER SHARE OF THE MONEY.SHE DID NONTHING FOR HIM THE WHOLE THREE YEARS HE'S BEEN WITH ME. NONTHING BUT STICK HIM IN THE HOSPITAL AND TELL HIM HE SHOULD LEAVE ME.I'VE BEEN TAKING HIM TO HIS APPOINTMENTS AND MAKING THEM. I HANDLE ALL HIS BUSINESS. I TAKE HIM BACK AND FORWARD TO WORK.I FEED HIM AND EVERY THING ELSE.NOW I CAN'T WORK AGAIN BECAUSE OF ILLNESS AND HE WANT TO PICK UP AND LEAVE AFTER HE GET HIS MONEY. OH, I FORGOT TO SAY I LOST MY BABY.SHE'S ALSO TRYING TO GET HIM TO GET A CAR. HE DON'T NEED A CAR BECAUSE HE'LL KILL HIS SELF OR SOME ONE ELSE.HIS LICENSE IS SUSPENED RIGHT NOW. ALL HE HAVE TO DO IS PAY A FINE AND GET A LETTER FROM HIS DOCTOR. THE DOCTOR IS GOING TO GIVE IT.I ASK HIM WHY WOULD HE AND CARLOS HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CONCENTRATION AND EVERY THING ELSE.HE SEE HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES EVERY THREE MONTHS. THE ONLY THING HE ASK HIM IS, DO HE HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THE MEDICINE AND DO HE NEED MORE. THATS IT.WHO AND HE CAN'T GET HIS MONEY UNLESS HE HAS A PAYEE. HE SAID THAT WILL BE ME.I DON'T WANT TO BECAUSE JUST AS SOON AS I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE MONEY THATS A FIGHT.IF I SAY I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS PAYEE THATS A FIGHT.I NEED THE MONEY BECAUSE I CAN'T GO BACK TO WORK RIGHT NOW. I HAD CANCER.HODGKINS,IT WAS IN THE LAST STAGE WHEN THEY FOUND IT.I'M DOING ALOT BETTER NOW. THEY JUST CAN'T GET MY BLOOD COUNT UP.I WAS GETTING SSI. BUT IT WAS CUT BECAUSE I WAS MARRIED AND HE WORKED TWENTY HOURS A WEEK. PLUS I WAS WORKING AS A CNA.I HOPE THIS ISN'T CONFUSING AND I'M SORRY FOR MAKING IT SO LONG.BUT I REALLY NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP

[MySonsMom]

Oh my, word of advice....Revise your posting that includes paragraphs and take the caps lock off...You will get more responses if you do this.

------------------
*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

[LegalBeagle]

The best way to get an answer is to shorten your post, use lower case, paragraphs and keep your questions to the end and then number them. Still not guarenteed an answer, but at least people will read it.

Someone please correct me if I am wrong, but from what I could gather from this post...
1. the poster has went through several Domestic disputes with this man,
2. She then married him, after taking him back each time?
3. She is concerned about the social security benefits and his mother getting part of it?
4. What exactly was it that the poster was needing a answer to?

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LadyBlu:
[b]Someone please correct me if I am wrong, but from what I could gather from this post...
1. the poster has went through several Domestic disputes with this man,
2. She then married him, after taking him back each time?
3. She is concerned about the social security benefits and his mother getting part of it?
4. What exactly was it that the poster was needing a answer to?[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Didn't read the post at all.. I'll leave it up to others read this mess..

Since you knew from the begining that he had this disorder, and stayed with him, then let him beat you while you were pregnant, and still didn't leave, YOU CAN BE FOUND JUST AS GUILTY AS HE WHEN AND IF HE HURTS THAT CHILD!! YOU WILL GO TO JAIL, HIS MOTHER WILL GET THE BABY AND DO WHAT SHE WANTS WITH IT, FOR YOU LACK OF PROTECTING YOUR CHILD.

MY ADVICE;
Get the hell out of there, move as far away from him and his "family" and concentrate on raising your child by your self. My god! I can't believe that a mother would endanger her child by staying with a man who she knew had a potential of harming her and the child.

if you stay you get what you deserve, all the while your child suffers and will probably become like it's father!

AO:
The sad part is, it is too late for the baby.. she lost it..

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LadyBlu:
[b]AO:
The sad part is, it is too late for the baby.. she lost it.. [/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I must'a missed that part... got lost in all THE CAPS TYPED

I can understand that, it is near the end.. this is a sad sad situation.. and one I have little symapthy for..

OK I READ THE LAST PART OVER (AND OVER AGAIN). She needs to move, get out, go somewhere else. I have no sympathy for her either, because she kept herself in this situation. The best help she can give herself is to leave and go far far away, where he can't find her. He's a mamma's boy and will be til the money runs out!

well first of all,it wasn't by choose to stay with him. i can see some of you never been in an abusive relationship.you never judge until you've been there.
i lost my baby in the same week of the last incident. i had problems with the pregnacy from day one because of the cancer and he kept me so streed out.
i tryed to cut it short so i left a lot out.
i tryed to leave him. i can't just pick up and move like that. i have three other kids. i am totally disabled.i wasn't suppose to work at all. but i get tired of sitting in the house doing nonthing. plus i don't get that much.the man kicked my door in. i couldn't go out the house because he was there. i called the police and they would say there was nonthing they could do because he have'nt touched me.

as for me marring him, i said no.can you imagine telling someone with a mental problem, no and they want to fight you because they say you make them look bad.

now as for his mother, she has never been there for him from day one.she got preganant trying to hold on to his father. he left town any way. he payed child suppot and she cracked it up.

the whole family is sleeping with each other.

now as for the money.no his mother don't deserve any of it. she never raised him at all. her sisters and his fathers family did.like i said i didn't ask him to move in with me.
he started staying the night and leaving clothes then one day his mother called to see if we were home.we told her that we were getting ready to leave. she waited until we left and brought every thing he owed and she moved out.she got married.she tells him to leave me and then tell him he can't live with her because he's not going to get along with her husband.she moved in a five bedroom house and a two bedroom apartment over the garage.out of the three years he's been with me she brought him five packs of kool-aid.

i struggled trying to feed my three kids and myself. then i had to feed him.he break up every thing. i had to replace every thing. my dishes, dinetteset, coffee tables, dressers and chester stand.he don't intend on doing it but he do. yes i do think i should get some. i had to go back to work to replace every thing and he's broken every thing again.

i don't want to be married to him.i can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this.

if you want to now, my kids ages they are 21, 20, and 18.

i want legal advise.not from people who want to judge people and have'nt walked in my foot steps