I would like to say, and I have posted on this subject before, no woman should force a man to be a father, however, after reading it several times since then, I did not make myself clear....Firstly, did you resort to any kind of trickery to become pregnant? Did you manipulate the situation in order to get pregnant? Did you do this in hopes of keeping this man? Secondly, If you did, then you do need to think long and hard about your decisions and choices. Thirdly, If you did not resort to trickery and this child was conceived in love (at least for you), then, you have every right to pursue child support from the father. In my opinion this should be done for the child. He may not want to be a father, and you can't force him, but you can do what has to be done for your child. You have every right to recieve child support, and TO HELL WITH MAKING HIS LIFE EASIER. I'm sure he's heard of condoms, and vasectomies. I don't believe a woman has the right to force a man to be a father, but, if you were in a relationship and he suddenly broke it off, I have to wonder if he has another agenda and doesn't want you to screw it up. Did he ever say to you that he didn't want children, before you got pregnant? If so, did he make an effort to ensure he didn't get you pregnant? and, Did you? It takes two. Answer these questions honestly. If you did trick him in some way, then, take the responsibility and raise your child. If you did not and he never told you that he didn't want children, you do what has to be done NOW! Start the process now, seek assistance from the courts to ensure that paternity is established as soon as is reasonably possible. Seek child support as soon as the child is born and insurance if possible. The courts will order him to pay, but it can become difficult, and he could pull stunts to get out of it, meaning you may have to drag him to court over and over again. Reading other posts can tell you how hard it can be. I hope this works out for you. Being honest with yourself will be the hardest part. After that, it's simply taking the responsibility to do what's right for you child. Good LUCK!
In the hope of not soliciting a personal attack, I would like to add, these are my opinions. Also, if every precaution was taken and you still became pregnant, (and it does happen), then, take the time to think through your choices. It is your choice, not mine or anyone elses posting on these boards.
[Edited by billyjean on 12-07-2000 at 09:23 AM]