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  #1  
Old 11-01-2000, 09:57 AM
newcomer2000
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For purposes of protecting myself and my daughter, it is important we are residents of NY.

I may be able to contest our residency in Oregon, and I need to know requirements and what is needed to prove residency; here in New York and Oregon.

Any information will be valuable, my husband is being very unreasonable and has threatened to do whatever he can to fight for custody of our daughter.

There is a long history I am omitting, suffice it to say, I have been the one with her everyday of her life, and he does not have what's in her best interests in mind. He has been verbally and mentally abusive for years, but because he never hit me, I've believed I was not abused. I was wrong.

If anyone knows anything about residency, or where I can go to find out, I would greatly appreciate it.

We were all born in NY, have lived here our entire lives, up until Feb. 2000, when he moved us 3,000 miles away.

Newcomer2000

[This message has been edited by newcomer2000 (edited November 01, 2000).]
  #2  
Old 11-01-2000, 10:22 AM
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Did you ever get your OR drivers licence ?? What is he threatening to do ?? ie, do you think he is going to file for custody in OR ?

How did the move go by the way ?

Call a few attorneys and ask them..

Residency Requirements

First, you must satisfy the residency requirements set forth in Domestic Relations Law §230. To file for a divorce in New York you must satisfy one of the following residency requirements:

1)The marriage ceremony was performed in New York State and either spouse was a resident of the state at the time of the commencement of the action and resided continuously in this state for one year immediately before the action began;

OR

2)The couple lived as husband and wife in this state and either one is a resident thereof and resided in this state for a continuous period of one year immediately prior to the commencement of the action;

OR

3)The grounds for divorce occurred in this state and either party is a resident thereof and lived in this state for a continuous period of one year prior to commencement of the action;

OR

4)The grounds for divorce occurred in this state and both parties are New York residents at the time the action is commenced;

OR

5)If you and your spouse were married outside of New York and you never lived together as husband and wife in this state and the grounds for divorce did not occur in this state -- either you or your spouse must presently be a resident of New York State and have resided continuously in the state for at least two years prior to bringing this case.



[This message has been edited by LegalBeagle (edited November 01, 2000).]
  #3  
Old 11-01-2000, 12:25 PM
newcomer2000
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Legal Beagle,

Yes, I got my OR driver license in August. As of Oct., my husband has not.

Yes, he says he will sue me for full custody. I have told him repeatedly I am willing to come back to OR, but I will not live with him anymore. He said if I'm not interested in reconciling, don't bother coming back.

As far as threats, he has said many things to try to intimidate me into thinking I will lose her, but some of them could prove true. Mostly, by my staying away, I am showing disregard for their relationship, and that the judge will favor him.

I have very good reasons for being here, not one of them are out of anger or spite. I was told the most dangerous time is when you are trying to leave, and it is strongly recommended I don't go back to him.

The move went well. The last day or so, I prayed a lot, and tried to keep to myself. When he would pressure me for an answer as to whether I would return or not, I kept telling him what the phone counselor told me, "I am under too much stress to make such a big decision, and to decide not to decide anything."

Well, once out from under his control, my ability to think clearly and my self-preservation insticts all came back loud and strong. I have never felt better in my life, until he called me one night and started in with his usual manipulations. As much as I have built myself back up, and restored my soul, I am ill-prepared for the battle he is so willing to wage.

I have already talked to several lawyers, and I am trying so hard to get educated, but I have very little money and as much as I need to retain a lawyer to start to build a case, I have to be ready to fight in OR if my husband makes the first move. I am working with domestic violence shelters in NY and OR. One woman said I need a heavy-hitting lawyer because it will be a tough case. She gave me the name of a woman, and if my parents can scrounge $200 for an initial consultation, she said it would be worth it to talk to this woman.

Meanwhile, I am working with a women's advocate here, to try to convince the shelter in OR that if I have to go back, staying with him until there is an incident, is not the best route to take.

Sorry for taking so long to respond, the needs of a two-year old are never-ending. I wouldn't change it for the world though.
In spite of this living nightmare, we have gone apple picking, pumpkin patch frolicking and leaf pile jumping; the stuff that makes for great times. I love fall, I love my daughter and once again I love myself enough to fight for what I believe in. I believe in the hope of humanity, not gloom and doom that is my husband's credo.

  #4  
Old 11-01-2000, 12:59 PM
newcomer2000
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Legal Beagle

I have tried in vain to read my reply to make sure it's coherent, and it's not even coming up on the screen. My parents have an i-opener, they gave me one also, and frankly they are junk. There is no hard drive, and if I hit one wrong key, I lose everything I've typed.

I appreciate your help, I will call a lawyer.

One more question. My husband said he will fly to NY to visit Casey. Besides being afraid he will try to take her back if I agree to meet him, can he serve me papers from an action he may have started in OR?
  #5  
Old 11-01-2000, 01:13 PM
Reveal
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crappy board
  #6  
Old 11-01-2000, 01:22 PM
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by newcomer2000:
[b]Legal Beagle

I have tried in vain to read my reply to make sure it's coherent, and it's not even coming up on the screen. My parents have an i-opener, they gave me one also, and frankly they are junk. There is no hard drive, and if I hit one wrong key, I lose everything I've typed.

I appreciate your help, I will call a lawyer.

One more question. My husband said he will fly to NY to visit Casey. Besides being afraid he will try to take her back if I agree to meet him, can he serve me papers from an action he may have started in OR? [/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He can not personally serve you.. but if he arrives in NY, you had better have people around to stop him from taking the child as the police may not get involved. If you meet at macdonalds and he picks up the child and take her to his car, there will not be much you can do about it.
  #7  
Old 11-01-2000, 03:09 PM
newcomer2000
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Legal Beagle

Thanks for responding. He's very unpredictable, and I don't trust him a bit.

I want to be as prepared as I can. I don't want to be out-smarted out of my child.

To Reveal,

I'm not sure what you are looking for in a board, if it's drama, try watching Jerry Springer. Several people here have been helpful to me, and I sure don't appreciate your crappy comment. Find someone who has the time to bicker with you, I don't. Just to give you something to chew on, hear this.

My husband has several unregistered, and one illegal automatic weapon at our house. In an effort to bond with his 16 year old son, I had to listen to him go on and on one day after school about how he needs to figure out a way to kill his step-father and get away with it. Apparently, he felt the guy was a loser, and was causing his mother too much unhappiness. When I repeatedly asked him to tell me he wasn't serious, he repeatedly told me, no he was dead serious.

I could go on and on, but it's not doing me any good. Sometimes, what people write don't convey emotions they feel, but believe me, everyone has a story to tell. Too bad yours was so short and negative and ultimately useless.
  #8  
Old 11-01-2000, 03:19 PM
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Sorry, I have to laugh.. Reveal is me.. it is the username I use to 'reveal' hidden posts that this crappy board is currently hidding. I normally just put a '.' but this morning the problem was so bad I put a comment.. I am assured the problem will be fixed by tomorrow.

 



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