HELP - Change of Circumstances

I am in the state of Virginia (County of Loudoun). I have been separated for 28 months and divorced a year in July. Although I was married for 7 years and we had planned the birth of our daughter, who is now five, I found it in my best interest to separate and ultimately divorce.

At that time, Joint legal custody and Joint physical custody were agreed upon and visitation was left open ended. My ex and I agreed on all terms set forth and the arragement worked out beautifully for about 6 months.

Since that time, there has been a significant change in circumstances that leads me to believe that my daughter is not in a safe and nurturing environment when with my ex-husband. I have managed to arrage it so he is never alone with her, being that he lives with his parents. They are good to her and ensure that she is being treated fairly and properly; however, with him moving out soon, I am terrified. Please allow me to state the change of circumstances:

1) Ex-husband has erractic, unpredictable behavior. Has threatened judges, police officers and doctors in charge of his care.

2) Ex-husband has a history of alcohol abuse, insomnia and physician diagnosed dillusions.

3) Ex-husband had been recently committed by his family and the Court to a state mental facility for 30 days. He was diagnosed with Severe Bipolar Disorder (formerly Severe Manic-Depressive Illness). This is an instable disorder and flagged my attention, due to his "short fuse" and unpredictable irritation.

4) Suicidal Tendencies; Severe Depression; Extreme Manic episodes that cause him to leave my daughter in others care, fequently, during his time of planned visitation.

5) Child Support has ceased (although a separate issue). His financial status has deteriorated since the diagnosis of his worstening disorder. His money flows to himself, male entertainment or similar minded areas, rather than the needs of our daughter.

6) Ex-husband is non-communitive and spends about 4 days a month with our daughter (although more is incouraged). On the days he does have her, he drops her immediately over his sisters and goes "out" for the night. Returning to spend one or two hours watching TV with her the next day, then returning her to me.

Although he has not harmed our daughter physically to date, this condition has an extremely adverse effect on her and it may be in her (my daughter's) best interest to have supervised visits with her father, IN THE DAY if possible. I would also like to be the custodial parent, having primary physical custody, as well as Legal Custody on her behalf.

I want to know:

1) What exactly is "supervised visitation"?

2) Can I make it so his parents supervise the visitation?

3) Does having Legal Cutody take his parental right?

4) What is the difference between "Legal Custody" and "Custodial Parent"? Are they the same category?

5) Can the Courts find out about his history (mental facility/trouble with the law) from his SS# or must I visit these places to gain documents?

6) What are the chances of me successully fighting this on my own?

7) I am fearful of my ex-husband when he is angered. This attempt to fight may put myself in danger (popular opinion, not just my own). Can I have a restraining order without having an incident happen first? (If there is an incident, it may be my last so I want to cover this area in case it is needed)

I know this is alot to read and I appreciate your time. Please help me fight for my daughter. She is a sweet girl and I hope to keep her this way. Broken promises I think we can deal with.. but, potentially dangerous situations are a red flag. I never would wish her appart from her father but, I must make sure the enviroment is healthy and she is safe.

AMCD


[This message has been edited by AMCD (edited May 10, 2000).]