HELP ME PLEASE

[dedestein]

I left my abusive boyfriend of 7 yrs we had a child together. i rec.. a protection order on him and he was granted some visitation (while i was at work). He is disable and collects Soial security, I am soon to be a college grad with my Masters i am applying for jobs relocating, he has not had visitation for 3 mnths, I have not asked for anything from him. He is now trying to get Full custody of my duaghter,( he is a violent person, he has had some run ins with the law) WHAT CHANCES DOES HE HAVE AND CAN I LEAVE THE STATE AT THIS POINT BY SIMPLY ASKING THE JUDGE.
I live in South Dakota (they give all looser fathers a chance)

Please help I just want to leave this all behind and start on with our life >>>>

 

[Brandys]

I'm sorry for what you went thru but I'm afraid he may be able to get custody. Did the two of you marry or just live together, sometimes that makes a big difference. Here in CA they can have joint/legal custody even though abuse has occurred. However, if they never married the mother retains custody and all control in most matters. I've seen it go both ways. Best advice is don't disappear but go about your life without him. Move where you want but don't disappear, this could cause you to look like your kidnapping your child. Start child support and custody asap and let the courts know your past experience with this man. Good Luck

 

[LegalBeagle]

Lets not scare the girl.. He *may* be awarded joint custody, but the chances he will get physical custody is close to nil.

 

[dedestein]

i was not married to this man thank god. He does not have very good standings in this state. He is not liked by the police or the courts here either.. i have documents from one point from his Dr. stating he was not able to care for his Dr.I have also pressed charges on him for beating me up and he also has a case pending on him for trying to run over a polie officer(felony). All I want to do is leave this state to get a better job here in few mnths, i am planning on informing the Judge and him but can he stop me becuase of court now. I am trying to provide a better way of life for my daughter and myself.

 

[MySonsMom]

It just amazes me that some non custodial parents *think* and *threaten* with obtaining full custody of these children. They use it as if it's a weapon to custodial parents. Just makes me so mad.

So there IS a court order in tact? If so, if you move; will his visitation be interrupted? If it will be you will have to either seek his permission to move, and file a new vistiation schedule that will accompany the distance...Or petition the courts to get their permission to move. You have a really good chance. Good luck!

------------------
*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

 

[dedestein]

I was served a 30 day response letter at this point telling me he is requesting to have full custody and wants me to pay child support. At this point i have been offered a job in CO that will pay me 3 times what i am making now i have school loans and other bills of debt (he created) i want to get taken care of. when would be the best time to ask the courts to leave i know it will not work to ask him, he is only doing this tomake my life miserable. If i ask right away they might let him had full custody becuase it will be were she grew up? Right now all i want is to prove he needs to have supervised visitation if i have to give him visitation. what do you advise

 

[tracym]

hello i have been through something like that myself.we have 2 children. 1 is mine and the other isnt,not leagally anyways.the wife and i have been seperated for 6 years now and the father of the other child comes and goes whenever he pleases.he only shows up when he wants to see his son.anyways it was really easy.the mother put in a request with the courts to move out of state with the children.it only took about a month for the hearing.i agreed they could leave state but he disagreed.we went to court and the judge asked a few simple questions like do you have a job lined up for when you move? will you be able to help in the transportation of the child when visitation is allowed for the father? all the questions pretty much pertained to the well being of the child.it was granted that she could move if visitations were established before she left, so papers sould be drawn up.it was really easy.the other father also had alot of run-ins with the law,but that was not even brought up in court.hope i helped in any questions you might have had.i say go to court with it and see what happens. oh yeah the judge also said that if she had left state without asking permission she would have been breaking the law and could have gotten in trouble by the courts.have a good and smile.

 

[MJSHARP]

I read all the replies to your first posting and let assure you , You do need to worry about your kids father getting custody.. Never let your guard down , judges now days are leaning very much for the father and have started granting custody to fathers and sometimes under good circumstances, You don't have to be a crack head or a druggy or a prostetute to loose your children...

 

[dedestein]

Well i was just informed by his lanlord that he was evicted and locked out of his place and now does not have a place to live do you think this makes my case better? Is there anyway i can get permission from the Judge before we go to a court hearing i have been only served with a summons and the way the court system is here it takes almost 90 days to sched court. i would like to be starting a new job by than.. And can i just get permission from the Judge to leave, the father he would never never never let me go.

 

[dedestein]

I have a question again.
i had court 12-12-2000
it was for temp custody and visistation.
well the Judge gave daughter's father visitation, while i am at work m-f after school until 6. and every other weekend. Here is the kicker he admitted to whipping his children with a belt, leaving his 7 year old son in a running car and the car being stolen (with the child in it )(they found it hour later) while he was doing laundry, and beating me up. And also he explained his whole attempted to run over a police officer (felony) charge that is pending, and my assualt charge in which is going to a jury trial in Jan. And he still recieved visitation, And it was with the stiputation that he does not touch his children for punishment (that took him 10 mins to answer). Now i am not a professional but does any of this sound like neglate ? well the good thing is that i have Sole physical custody and he has to pay some type of child support. Now after all of this what would be my chances of being able to take a job that offer out of state.(SD)i am looking at offers in salt lake city
Oh by the way i had the best att in town and he had a legal aid..

HELP ME

 

[usmcfamily]

When you consider that convicted murderers serving prison terms are able to petition for and be granted visitation in prison it isn't really too shocking that someone of your ex's character would also be successful. But don't lose sight of the fact that as of now all he is granted is visitation - not custody. As you have been the custodial parent for a period of time the moving of custody now is less likely - additionally, the fact that he is facing charges that could well incarcerate him it is unlikely that the courts would order anything beyond the visitation already granted until that is resolved and they can see if he will even be able to have custody (not a lot of room to keep your kids in a 6X6....). So, if anything you are likely to see the temp order last until his legal cases are resolved so that the court can look at his "living arrangements".
As you have the "best attorney in town", though, I can't help but wonder why you are asking us instead of consulting your attorney - his advice is bound to differ as he is more familiar not only with your state statutes but also with the mood/attitude of local family court about issues such as this - and when it comes down to it within the law there is a certain amount of latitude that the judge enjoys to "adjust" according to their personal opinions. I would suggest you pick up your phone and ask you attorney about the possibility of petitioning the court for permission to make the move - BUT it is unlikely to be considered until you have a provable "improvement of lifestyle" (ie already have a set job to go to that will substantially improve your life and that of your child if you are allowed to move) so likely won't file until you have the job locked on.
As I said, your best bet at this point is to continue working with your attorney as if you don't you will only receive conflicting advice based on the fact that we here are not as familiar with the details of your case as your own attorney hopefully is....
Good luck and God Bless

PS...just to let you know, though, in my case I was able to make a 3000 mile move with my child (I have always been CP - she is 4 1/2) after notifying the NCP (he lived 500 miles away anyway so that was a little different in our case and was to my advantage) 30 days in advance in writing -- he then had that 30 days to file a petition w/the courts to stop me but chose not to. He had that right as the move obviously has changed his visitation (not that he used them anyway - again different in my case and so may not apply for you) but opted not to fight it so you never know.....