Hi new here

Hi everyone
New here. Just found these boards and thought I could use some input. Bio dad molested 3-1/2 yr old daughter, DCFS unfounded case (he denied it was their reasoning), police don't have enough evidence to charge him (she's not old enough to testify) but all agencies have recommended further counseling for her. We have medical records of vaginal wounds (tears), horrible rashes, repeated yeast infections. She has disclosed abuse to therapist. No custody battle ongoing. We are getting ready for abuse evaluation ordered by the court. He currently has supervised visitation, 1 hr. a week. He is seeking e/o/w with vacation time (papers filed because he was upset I called DCFS). Now, he has offered to sign away rights as long as he never has to pay a dime for her. He doesn't want to go for evaluation (after evaluation he will be sent to offender's therapy for 2 yrs.) Do I get him out of our lives so we can heal and go on? Or do I go through with the evaluation and continue to make him support his daughter? Thanks
mykidsmom

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mykidsmom20:
[b]Hi everyone
New here. Just found these boards and thought I could use some input. Bio dad molested 3-1/2 yr old daughter, DCFS unfounded case (he denied it was their reasoning), police don't have enough evidence to charge him (she's not old enough to testify) but all agencies have recommended further counseling for her. We have medical records of vaginal wounds (tears), horrible rashes, repeated yeast infections. She has disclosed abuse to therapist. No custody battle ongoing. We are getting ready for abuse evaluation ordered by the court. He currently has supervised visitation, 1 hr. a week. He is seeking e/o/w with vacation time (papers filed because he was upset I called DCFS). Now, he has offered to sign away rights as long as he never has to pay a dime for her. He doesn't want to go for evaluation (after evaluation he will be sent to offender's therapy for 2 yrs.) Do I get him out of our lives so we can heal and go on? Or do I go through with the evaluation and continue to make him support his daughter? Thanks
mykidsmom[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


He can not give up his 'rights' and not pay CS. However, if the charges are proved, a judge could stripe him of his rights. So, you have no choice but to continue on with the eval. I am surprised that little is being done despite the medical evidence.

[MySonsMom]

He is obviously a threat to the child. If I were you, I would obtain full custody of the child with little or no visitation rights for the Father. Do not request child support. If and when you get remarried, have the Father sign away rights so that the child can be adopted. If there is not enough proof to charge him with molestation, there isn't much you can do. But if you know in your heart that he has done this, protect your child from him. If he is willing to do whatever you want, then file papers with you having full custody..then you won't have to *deal* with the Father. He will be happy he doesn't have to *deal* with you or the child, and you will be happy to have him go away. You may also put in the papers that when you marry, adoption proceedings may start. Good luck!

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

Hi and thanks for replying
I have sole physical and legal custody. He has supervised because of the pending evaluation. He can sign away his rights if 1) I agree and 2) he signs them away to someone else (like my sister). So, this decision is mine to make. I can force him into the evaluation or take his offer sign off his rights. If we go for the evaluation (we're in Illinois), the judge will not terminate his rights due to molestation. He will be forced into therapy and have supervised visitation. The reason not much is being done is her age. DCFS told me this as did the police. We can use her therapist's testimony in court to speak for her but not in a criminal trial. I just don't want him to be able to walk away with no responsibility for doing this, but I also don't want my daughter to be subjected to supervised or any kind of visitation with him. Hard call.