his county or mine?

[whitsmom]

I went to court to start child support for my nine year old daughter last week. (To remind you...I was with my ex boyfriend for nine years, he was very abusive and spent a lot of time in jail for it...he didn't sign the bc of our daughter...I have been married to another man for almost 5 years (since my daughter was 4)...no court orders for custody/visitation/support until this support order last week...he rarely asks to see the child...1-3 times per year)

When we went to court for support last week, he spouted off in the waiting area about wanting a DNA test and how he was "illiterate and indigent". He changed his tune in front of the judge...didn't deny paternity of our daughter, she had to order him to fill out the paperwork for child support enforcement. He lied and told the judge he makes $6 per hour so his child support is a whopping $224 a month which includes 1/2 my daycare and back support. It was ordered that my husband continue to pay for her health insurance. My ex swears up and down he won't pay.

Do I understand correctly that since he declared paternity of our daughter, support enforcement will notify vital stats and his name will be added to the bc?

Well, after court, he told me that he would soon be "dragging" me to court for visitation. I have never initiated custody/visitation through the court because he saw her so rarely, it wasn't a priority.

If he does happen to file, we both live in FL but in different counties. On the UCCJA it will show that she has lived with me in our county for 5 years. Will his county take jurisdiction or will they tell him to file where the child lives?

I doubt he would on his own take me to court, but his girlfriend is very upset that he now has to pay me support and will probably "encourage" him. Maybe I should get the ball rolling here myself? He has no driver's license and has that history of abuse with me, so I have always insisted that he stay at his brother and his wife's house on the rare occasion he asks to see her(supervised.

If I petition him here, can I ask for supervised visitation not to exceed two weekends per month? (Just in case he decides to make me "pay" for him having to pay support and start injecting himself into my and my daughter's life when he hasn't been very interested before.)

Sorry so long...lots of questions...thanks for your help.

 

[LegalBeagle]

With no custody agreement in place, he could have a visit with the child and refuse to return them. Although you can get this overturned later, it would be very difficult to get immediate action. With a court order, 48 hours after the end of a visitation and with no return in sight, you can have him arrested.

Second.. and I really wish everyone would do this.. when dealing with the sort of person you describe, NEVER.. NEVER have unrecorded conversation with them.. carry a small tape recorder if you have to. You have any idea how different your case would be if you were able to present his threats to a judge ?

I suggest you initiate custody immediately. Do nothing about visitation, that will be for him to initiate. Make sure you have proof of any abuse etc.. or records showing his very few visits..

 

[whitsmom]

Thanks again LegalBeagle. Do you know if he happens to petition the court in his county before I get mine filed, will his county take jurisdiction, or will they tell him to file where my daugher and I live?

I think it would be wise to withold any further visitation (if he even asks) until we have something court ordered since he is suddenly bringing this up after being split up for 6 years, and now Ms. girlfriend is putting her 2 cents in. Will a judge hold this against me as being uncooperative or interferring in the parent/child relationship? I just don't want to chance him keeping her from me.

And what do you think about the county thing? I don't really want to have to drive all the way to where he lives for court if I don't have to.

 

[LegalBeagle]

The county that has the child in holds jurisdiction.. although where counties are so close, it does not always matter. It can be hit or miss if a judge accepts or refused to take the case.

I would not withhold all visitation as that does not always look great to a judge. My statement about not being able to do anything immediately holds true but is much more relevant were couples have only been apart for a short time. If you have just split and one party refuses to return the child then it is still 50/50 who gets custody. In your case, you will almost certin to get custody and him not returning the child would be very bad on him.. it just means you would have the short term pain of not being able to do much to begin with, but the added satifaction of having him burnt in court by a judge later..

If you have the money, the get an attorney to file an ex-parte motion granting you immediate temporary custody and site that you believe that since the cs order, there is a danger of him not returning the child.

It is your call, if you truely believe it is possible that he will not return the child then go for a visitation in Mcdonalds or somewhere and stay with the child..