Husband allowed after 6 years....

My husband is now allowed after 6 years to see "his" son. We have been married for 4 years and have a 3 year old daughter. He pays child support everymonth. He is not a dead beat dad. He was simply not allowed by his ex to "his" son. He used to have serious doubts that the child was his. But now he is so sure that the child is. I am not so sure. I want to have a paternity test done to establish weither or not he is the father. My husband is really upset that I feel this way. I don't know what to do. My husband is so happy now. And our daughter and myself are confused about where we stand in his eyes. I woke up the other morning with a family of 3 and now I don't know if I even have a family anymore! It seems that he has turned his back on us. Now that he has visitation. We no longer exist. He don't want to get the test, and he is causing abbandonment issue on both his daughter and myself. Do I have the right to a divorce now that he has abbandoned us? And what is going to happen to my daughter and myself now that this has happened, and if we get a divorce? We are in Oregon. And have very little money. What is the cheapest yet most effective why to do this? Divorce? Test?

Thanks for your time.

What happend to make your husband convinced that the child is his all of a sudden? Not to sound rude but maybe you are pushing your husband away by YOU wanting him to have a paternity test done. If your husband is convinced the child is his, why do you have doubts? If your husband believes that the child is his, you should be supportive of the fact that he is now after 6 years getting to see his son. You should be welcoming the boy into your home with open arms b/c he didn't ask for what his mother did by keeping him from his father. Support your husband and maybe he wouldn't be pulling away from you and your daughter.

Pulling away from me is ok, but not from his 3 year old daughter! Whatever happeneds to our marriage happens. But I will not let him "pull away" from his own daughter. It's not our daughters fault that he has another child out of wedlock with another woman. And she doesn't need to suffer for it. And I still don't believe that this child is his, he doubted it for 6 years and now that he is reunnited, he is his son? My daughter looks like her daddy, this child does not look like my husband. For one my husband has fair skin, this child has dark complexion, (his mother is also fair too) And where did the green eyes come from? And no, I can't just go on my husbands emotional whim, besides the point that he is not even thinking straight right now. He has totoally let this consume him, affecting his work and family resonsiblities. I need functionablity for our home. What's going on right now in this house is not ok. I think since being right now, I am the only responable adult in this household I need to make the decision of wheither or not to desolve this marriage. I am supportive of him, but he has totally no reguard for his actions at the present time.

First of all, getting a paternity test will make no difference to the law at this point in the game... it is past the 2 yrs he (the father) would have been allowed to contest paternity.
My advice, you need to grow up and start acting like an adult. You caused this problem, now deal with it. If your husband is pulling away from you and your daughter maybe the fault lays with you. You have tried to put a wedge between he and his son now the wedge has been shifted.

If you cannot *deal* with being a step parent you do need to get out of the marriage. But dont be surprised if this man then turns and tries to get custody of your daughter and could possibly win.