Husband wants to adopt my children

[apriltim]

I have just gotten married and my husband wants to adopt my children. Ages 11 and 13. We live in the state of Pennsylvania. The children are in agreement, of course, and really only know him as a "father-figure". The bio. Dad has never supported them or been any part of there lives. He has seen them may be 4 times in the past 10 years, and never paid anything to help raise them. Have been trying for years...nobody can locate him..but that's another issue. I am not sure that I can even locate him.
How do we begin? Is there anyway that we can file the papers ourselves? Where can we obtain the papers? What is the av.cost of something like this? Afterwards, can the children change there last name if they want to?

 

[usdeeper]

It can be a difficult process that should not be attempted on your own.. sorry for stating the obvious, but you need to get an attorney. The good thing is that you have a very good chance of this happening.. Good luck..

 

[MySonsMom]

I urge you to get an attorney to help you with this. What will happen first is they will try and contact the bio father to willingly relinquish his rights. If he agrees, it very simple. If he does not agree, you will have to fight. Prove that your hubby would be a better father, with his track record you have a chance. It's virtually impossible to do it without an attorney. If he relinquishes his rights willing, it will cost you anywhere between $1000-$3000. If he fights you it will cost more. If your kids are adopted by your hubby, they can change their last names. Good luck!

 

[apriltim]

That you for your help. Guess this is harder that we thought. And alot more expensive. That is per child right? Just by being married to me does my husband have any legal rights to my children over the absent father?

 

[MySonsMom]

Step parents dont have rights to step children..unfortunately.

 

[usdeeper]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by apriltim:
That you for your help. Guess this is harder that we thought. And alot more expensive. That is per child right? Just by being married to me does my husband have any legal rights to my children over the absent father?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope.. If the father came back after 5 years absence he would still have more rights than your current hubby. In your curcumstance, I would jump all over this and try to get the money to complete it. From all you have said, it does not look like it would be a problem. Courts like children to have a father and if one is willing and the biodad does not care at all, then they will generally rule in your favour.

There is another reason to consider getting this done as soon as possible. If your ex comes back in 2 years and decides to cause problems for you, he can. He will be able to drag you into court and get visitation, no matter how small. The point is, once the adoption is completed there is nothing he can do and you will be free....

 

[Always searching]

My ex husband disappeared and I couldn't locate him for 5 years. My husband wanted to adopt my children. We paid a lawyer around 500 dollars and he put a notice in the paper at the last address I knew he was at. We went to court, the children were adopted. The kids only saw their bio dad once in 20 years. He was not even upset when he heard that the children were adopted. Obviously I didn't make a great pick the first time, but made better choices later. It worked for me.

 

[MySonsMom]

Always Searching: I love hearing stories like yours! Nice to see that sometimes children are put where they belong..and "biology" doesn't rule over what is right. Thanks for sharing.

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~MySonsMom~

 

[apriltim]

Thank you all for your input. I think we will just go ahead and get this done as soon as possible. I thank God everyday that I found a wonderful person like my husband. Not many people can handle a woman with children....and I have been on my own for so long with my children that I never thought about any of this. Much less thinking about the bio dad coming back around.

Thanks again for all your advise.