I Moved to Germany

[Renea-n-Germany]

I have full custody of my kids from the State of Alabama. My 2nd husband accepted a government job and we moved to Germany for a 3 year term. My ex has the standard visitation (2 weekends a month, 4 weeks in the summer, 1 week at Christmas) My ex also gave his verbal okay for the move to Germany. We have been here a year and a half this summer. My question is I feel uncomfortable with a verbal agreement (we left in just a few weeks when the job was offered and didn't have time or money for anything else) I want to have something in writing from my ex reflecting that he agrees to have the kids for 4 weeks in the summer only (they are with him right now). Do I have to go back to court to get this, or can we do something between the two of us that will be binding if he ever decides to go back on his word? Second Question, can the courts make me move back to Alabama even though I have full custody and he agreed to the move?
Thank you,
Renea

 

[usdeeper]

A verbal agreement between two people may not be worth anything in court... and asking for written agreement now may only stir up problems, especially if you are trying to take his week away at Christmas.

Your ex could, if he wanted to, claim that you took the children out of the US without his (or a judges) permission, file for full custody and not return them to you. Not sure if you are aware, but you needed his WRITTEN permission or a judges permission before you take the children permanently out of the state, never mind the country.

As to regards to the question of being forced back.. No, you can not be forced back and your ex probably does not have enough money to pursue this through German courts.

The question I do not have an answer for is whether he (or the courts) are legally obligated to serve you notice of pending court action if you are not in the US.

Personally, I would wait. If he returns your children at the end of the 4 weeks then it is unlikely he is pursuing anything after this length of time. Second, do not try and get anything signed now or stir up problems. Imagine, you ask him to draw up a legal paper or sign something, he goes to an attorney for advice, the attorney seeing some dollar bills tells your ex he can get full custody, really says you ex, did not think of that. Lastly do not take his week at Christmas away as this might just make him mad.

How you ultimately handle this depends on the type of person he is.. and only you know that.