I need advice, quick!!!

[Zoobie]

I want to sue the state of Connecticut for harrassment.
My husband has been paying child support for the last 8 years and the kid turns 18 in 11 months. When the order was put into effect we explained to the judge and the state of CT (who is involved because the childs guardian, my mother in law is on welfare) that he was self employed and we dont receive regular pay checks, we sometimes go 6-8-12 weeks with no money coming in. when we receive a check, I pay all the back support plus as far in advance as aI can afford. We also explained to the judge that we have a terminally ill child together and cant afford health insurance and therefore, some months his medical expenses are astronomical, so that may hinder our paying on time.

The judge said do the best you can. We have never been more than 3 weeks behind despite all these problems but the state has hauled his ass in to court every 2 months for the last 5 years, he then has to take time off work and thus, loses money. Every time he has gone to court, the charges have been dismissed because we are found to be in compliance.

The point is is that we are agreeable to paying, just we are not always able to pay on time. They have again issued a warrant for his arrest becaue we are 2 weeks behind, I am promised a check from a company that owes us money at the end of the week. I will then pay the support like I always have.

This is getting rediculous and I feel like we are being harrassed. There are people, like the childs bio mom that does'nt ever pay her support that was ordered by the court, she just keeps moving every time they find her, and they make no real effort to locate or enforce the order.

Do I have a chance at winning against the state? Anyone ever sued their state for harassment??? HELP!!!!!

 

[LegalBeagle]

As I read it, biomom is gone, bio day pays support to his mother who has custody ?

Why not just get custody of the child ?

 

[Zoobie]

We did have custody until my mother in law decided she could take better care of him than me! Fine I said! My mother in law was sticking her nose in our business-an example...The granny took the kid to the dentist, he was 4 y.o. The dentist said, he needs braces, I said Im not paying 4 grand for a 4 y.o to get braces...honestly the kids teeth are straighter than mine, to this day he still dont have braces, then my sister in law (my husbands sister) thought my husband should open a savings account for the kid so he would have something...fine but now we have achild together, what about him??? My MIL also stated to me that this first son of my husbands was her "only heir to carry on the family name" HELLO...together we have two sons, but they dont count. To make a long story short, I left my husband with the intent of getting a divorce because his mother and sister are nosey two bit gossipy *****es, my MIL at that time decided the child would be better off with her, we agreed, after all she is "the superior parent"..anyway, we gave the first son to her, and paid her to care for him, my husband still saw him daily and he even slept over, until she filed for custody, and moved to another town. We did'nt fight it because , well, you dont know my husbands family. Anyway...here we are being harassed by the state.

Also, My husband had another choild with this bio-mom, she abandoned the 2 kids plus another child she had with another man with my husband. The youngest was an infant and my husband placed it for adoption. Due to the nature of his work, traveling for months at a time he also wanted to place the problem child for adoption, he was like a year old, or at least in foster care..but MIL would have none of that . She insisted he keep the boy,and until I came into the picture, she cared for him 24-7, with "visits " to dad. Now that I was there, I was supposed to take over as mommy and I really did'nt want to, I thought things were good as they were, but not for MIL.

I know, this is like a soap opera, but it is the God's honest truth.

we are doing great with out this kid and no kid means nomore harrassment by the bio-mom who would stop by once or twice a year and promise the kid he could come live with her, and bad mouth us, then he would be hell on two feet for months.

Anyway, we are glad to be rid of the child and dont like it, but are paying, just sick of being harassed by the state. Is there anything we can do?

 

[newmom]

You know - this is one reason I am hesitant of ever getting married now that I have a child!! IF I EVER married someone that felt the way you do about your "step-child", I would never stay with them. You both sound pretty selfish in the fact that "YOUR" children are more important than his first children. I don't know this man, but from what I hear, I wouldn't want him.

The state is not the one taking you to court. If the mother in law was not pressing the issue with someone to get the support, you wouldn't be going to court. And I'm not sure about CT, but here in MI, you have to owe so much money (not just be 2 or 3 weeks behind) before there is even a show cause hearing.

The whole story sounds sad. I'm sorry for the children you DO have in the fact that for the rest of their lives, they will have to wonder if "daddy" is going to put them aside like he did their "brother" (or "THE KID" as you so kindly put it - the kid he doesn't want but has to pay for).

 

[Zoobie]

Well, ya know. My husband gave his then girlfriend money for an abortion and she took it and ran until it was too late to have the abortion. Unfortunately, men have NO RIGHTS when it comes to these matters. I think the woman should be more responsible for the child than the dad because the dad cant have an abortion but the mom can!!!

Women can decide if they WANT to be parents, men cant. Its that simple.

Now, we are STUCK with the little **** and want to be left alone, any REAL advice???

Oh and my KIDS DONT KNOW THESE *******S EXIST (MY CHILDREN ARE LEGITIMATE)

 

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Zoobie:
Well, ya know. My husband gave his then girlfriend money for an abortion and she took it and ran until it was too late to have the abortion. Unfortunately, men have NO RIGHTS when it comes to these matters. I think the woman should be more responsible for the child than the dad because the dad cant have an abortion but the mom can!!!

Women can decide if they WANT to be parents, men cant. Its that simple.

Now, we are STUCK with the little **** and want to be left alone, any REAL advice???

Oh and my KIDS DONT KNOW THESE *******S EXIST (MY CHILDREN ARE LEGITIMATE)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


This is the 4th post in as many days on this subject.. MEN DO HAVE A CHOICE.

End of story.

 

[bellestar]

you have a lot of nerve lady. that poor child. maybe dad should take the responsability in raising his child. they probley are nosey cuz they feel like he had these children and now dont want to take care of them. i hope the ones you have disappear one day and the child he does have is the only one left and he cannot have any more cuz obviously he doesnt appreciate the fact he has a child. and for me i have 2 kids and i am from ct. and if i ever found someone like you how sees that way about my kids i would tell them to go to hell cuz if you know i have kids when you met me and you still chose to get involved then you better treat them like there yours. and the way you think yeah go for that devorce and find another man so he can treat your kids like **** and see how they feel. kids are gifts not burdens you selfish, *****

 

[ace-red]

I agree with bellestar...HOW DARE YOU. My ex-husband had a son from a previous marriage, and I loved that little boy with all my heart. He wasn't a burden, and he even had some chemical imbalance problems! When I gave birth to my daughter, she wasn't more important, she was JUST AS important!




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