IAAL please read send a letter to the state post from the 6th, Thanks ever so...

Anyone who has any advice, legal or moral, please feel freel to respond to my query. This is a difficult situation, and instead of getting better, it's getting worse!!!

I am not Iaal, but maybe I can give you some advice.

I am assuming DH is the father, correct? If his name is on the bc then all he has to do is call the court house in the town where the child was raised and request a copy of the bc, this will cost appx. $5.00.

If he has joint custody, he can request medical records from the childs doctors himself. All he has to do is explain he is the father. He should also be able to ask the child's doctor to either call in a refill for the inhaler or send you a refill slip. If he has joint custody there should be no consent form needed for medical attention.

You can always call social services and explain that you don't have the necessary papers to provide medical attention or refills for the inhaler because the biomom won't send them.....this will look bad on her and they will investigate.

As for being in the military.....well I don't know if they have different rules for handling this type of situation. I believe usmcfamily if familiar with military regulations. You could try posting to her.

Is your husband seeking physcial custody?

Hope this helped.

Paula

Hi Paula, actually, DH hasn't even gone to court for anything except to take test yet, he goes to set up support and visitation the end of Aug. We had the girl come out here to ease things for all of us, and also so the judge would look favorably on the situation, us having here here for 2 months w/out anything set up, etc. Yes, we would like custody, especially since we are 2,500 miles away. The sit. w/the b. cert. is that mom fled to Ala., because DH was a minor, and mom was going to press stat. rape charges, the biomom was 20, so she moved, and told noone she was preg., much less that girl was DH's. She moved back to IN when girl was 5, and she knew DH had already joined sevice and was out here. I haven't seen USMCfamily on the board lately, but hope this post is read by them. Poor girl feels abandoned by mom, like I said, she hasn't called but once, and hasn't talked to us at all, I think she just likes the free sitter for the summer!!! Thank for advice, and if you have anymore, please help!!!! Jessica/CA

Since DH is the father, and you have the test results to prove it, that should be sufficent enough to get a copy of bc. Since the court date is not scheduled until Aug. 30, ask your attorney if he can file for DH to have temp. custody, since the child is already with you, until the hearing. This will make it easier in your efforts to get custody. The temp. custody can be filed now. The longer the girl is with you, the better your chances of keeping her. Document all phone call times and dates recieved from the mother to show just how much interest she has for the child. Also check the laws for taping phone conversations in your state. Abide by them to a tee. Other wise you could commit a felony. If it is possible to tape the conversations....do so....they could be admissible in court.

It sounds like the girl is better off with you guys. I am not sure what the statue of limitations is for having sex with a minor...but you may still be able to file charges. This again will be in your favor for getting custody. How long ago did this happen and how old is the girl?

Good luck and God Bless.

See, that's another issue, you said to document all phone calls, the mom hasn't even called!!! I personally wouldn't send my child to anyone I didn't know, but... This was a one night stand for DH, his 1st time if you know what I mean, she was an older friend of his sis's, who was jealous of their relationship, gross, huh?? I think that DH or his mom can still file the stat. rape charges, but DH doesn't want to do that unless his hand is forced. He doesn't want to traumatize this girl, and part of me agrees. I don't even know the county where she was born, and her mom hasn't given us ANY info. Do you have any suggestions about the medical consent form?? The girl is 8 1/2, and the mom only named DH because she had named 3 other men, and the state tested them, and she was about to lose her welfare bennies. We don't have a lawyer yet, just advice from navy legal, the prob. is that we are in CA., and need to find a lawyer in this area who has passed the bar in IN., where the case is. We are in a rural area, so no luck. I'm about ready to call a lawyer in IN., and do phone consultations, but we are at poverty level ourselves, with 3 kids of our own!!! The girl is upset that her mom han't even tried to call, and she is going to Vega$$ for a week soon, on not only taxpayer money, but we will have to pay arrears on that, crazy, huh?? We paid to send DH back for the test, had to buy a car to have the extra seatbelt for the girl, and bought her plane tic., so no more savings, and no credit cards here!!

I can relate to your finanical situation.

There are fathers support groups that help with legal aid. I'll look and see what I can find. It'll take me a few days.

You also can check to see if there is legal aid in your area and if they are licensed in IN.

As for the medical consent.....I'm not 100% sure on that one. Try calling social services to see if they can help.

Since they were never married and he didn't know the girl existed, a good attorney could get him out of the arrears. How could he pay if he didn't even know the girl existed, and not to mention the fact that support does not begin until there is a court order. In certain cases, judges have still ordered arrears to be paid. If at all possible, borrow the money to fight the arrears it could save you money in the long run. If you can't come up with all the money on arrears when and if they order him to pay it, then interest is added daily. So in the long run you could end up paying 2 to 3 times the amount of actual arrears that are due on top of current support, unless you end up with custody.

I know this is no consolation but, you really need a good attorney or you could go into court and be screwed.

We are going through the same thing. I have 1 ex, my husband 2, and we are battling all 3 at the same time, not to mention they all live in different states. The battle with my ex was over today, at least for now I've won....until he decides I'm too happy and wants to fix that. So we are considering selling the house to downsize and take what little equity we have to fight our ex's and gain custody of one and find out if the other is my husbands. We can only fight one battle at a time, and time is running out and so is the money. So.....I feel for your situation.

My prayers are with you.

Good luck and God bless.

PS post to IAAL about the medical consent. Since you have proof he is the father, you may not need consent from the mother.