Joint Custody

I am an unwed single mother in Wisconsin. The father wants joint custody of our daughter. One week with him, one week with me and so on. There are other stipulations also. I don't know what rights I have as a mother who never married the father in Wisconsin and can't afford a lawyer though I know I'll probably need one.

He signed away his rights to his first child and has seen our daughter whenever he has asked. What can I do? I'm willing to give him reasonable visitation but he wants more. Our daughter is only three months old and nursing. Can anyone help?

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Averee:
[b]I am an unwed single mother in Wisconsin. The father wants joint custody of our daughter. One week with him, one week with me and so on. There are other stipulations also. I don't know what rights I have as a mother who never married the father in Wisconsin and can't afford a lawyer though I know I'll probably need one.


Check will public defener. You have a right to do what is best for the child.
I think joint custody is a joke. Is he willing do totally half\half doctor bills: food: glasses: clothes: shoes; personal products: spending money.Usually one parents ends up with all expenses. Later there is insurance on car, the cost of running with friends, school functions, all that one parent does not think is important but the child will. Every thing the child wants or needs is to be half\half.

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Joint custody and joint physical custoday are two separate things. What you are saying here is that he wants joint physical custody, where the child lives with both parents equally. Joint custody is normally when the child lives with one parent and has liberal visitation with the other parent. In my opinion, joint physical custody can cause problems...(this is only my opinion of course) but I feel that a child needs a "home" in which they "live" at, and visits the other parent. With joint physical custody, the child moves from home to home so much there is no real sense of "stability"...I would definately think of that before you make any decisions. Most judges will grant joint custody to both parents, meaning that either parent has rights to medical, school records and such but normally resides with one parent giving the other visitation.

Averee,
You responded to my question (newborn visitation) yesterday. So when I saw your name I clicked in to see how things were for you. I am sorry for how hard things are. A single mother of two children is exactly where I am now as well. It is very difficult (to say the least) especially when one is a newborn. Don’t worry it will be okay. Just be smart and continue to do your best one day at a time.
With the birth of my daughter any day now I can fully understand your fears and questions. You seem like you are trying so very hard to do the right thing for your children. You approached the father’s visitation with your second child with such willingness and hope. It is a shame that he is now threatening what you fear the most, which is to be apart from your daughter 50% of the time. I think both people that responded to you had GREAT points!!!
When it comes to joint physical custody, to be honest many men ask this but really it is more about control then it is what they truly want and can handle. I don’t mean to say that this applies to all men but considering he gave up his rights with your first child, he may end up cooling down and re-assessing what he is asking for now. No matter what he asks, you should set into place a secure, happy and loving environment for yourself and your children. Try not to focus on what he is asking because so far everyone I have spoken to (including a GREAT lawyer) say that it is VERY RARE that a father is granted joint physical custody in the first year of a childs life. Especially a newborn!!! By the time your child is old enough he most likely will have something else to concentrate on.
I agree completely that you should check with a public defender!!! Call one and get an appointment as soon as you can. You may meet with several before choosing one. This time will be well spent as you gain specific legal knowledge that you can tuck away until you need it. I am sure that a lawyer will ease your mind and that the facts will prove to best for you and your daughter. One additional point is that I am sure the court would consider the consistency needed with his/her sibling. That parting them for long periods of time would not be in their best interest.
Just a total guess (a long shot) but maybe being there every day seeing his child and spending time at your home made him realize what he is missing and now he wants to fight harder for more time because of his feelings for you and what he doesn't have. Ask yourself is he really capable of caring for your child 50% of the time? Does he have a lot more to offer? Or is he just very emotional and lashing out?

Just a guess, I may be way off