Just wanting some answers

I actually have two topics I'd like to get some answers on. One is that I have been married one time and got divorced and had two kids with my ex. I got custody because of his drug use,I since met another man and have been dating him for about 6 years. I had a son from him. We are still together but we seperated a year ago. He filed for custody for our son. We went to court but he had his friends sign papers stating that i was using drugs at the time we were together and He also said I left without telling him where i was going. Which both of them were lies because I called him several times and he called me too. Anyways we went to court and I got scared. He said he was only doing this to get me back. I didnt have a very good lawyer and he has money so he had a good lawyer. The judge ordered me to give our son to him for an extended visitation(4 weeks) and also ordered we both get a hair folicle drug test.(in which we both passed). I had little money but was making it but he called me while having my son in his care and said he was going to win custody, we could stop this if I just came back. Well I went back. What I guess I'm asking is if I leave again what prepartions should I take so I could get custody of our son. My boyfriend is mean too my other kids and he yells and calls them name. He has been violent towards me, and wont let me work to make money. In which I have started school and trying to get a good job, I told him that I was going to get on my feet. I think he thinks I cant make it without him but I know I can. I want to know what I can do for all of my kids to be together. I dont drink or do drugs. He is also going to court with his ex wife. While we where not together he had another women stay the night while he had his daughter over for visitation. The ex likes me and his daughter loves me. But they dont want me to stay with him because of the way he treats me and the kids. I have a good relationship with his daughter but my boyfriends mother cant stand me so she told his daughter a few things about me to make her not like me. The daughter came and told me about it and I told her, her grandmother was a liar and the daughter is not talking to any of them. My boyfriends now tells me I cant have anything to do with his daughter and our son is not allowed to see his daughter. I want them to have a relationship. My boyfriend is giving up his rights to his daughter because she told her mother about the other women staying the night. What can I do so I can have a relationship with his daughter and still keep peace with my boyfriend?

hi - sounds like it is going to be hard to keep the peace with your boyfriend no matter what you do . been there - done that.from my experience those kinds of people never change-6 years - you probably know his every move before he makes it.you know you will need legal help.you can go to the court house and file for free legal help- it could take months but - or social services might be able to direct you . you can do it . i had two kids and i did it - if that's what you want. sounds like you have a good relationship with the girl's mom- continue visits through her. it is nice to hear that someone else has a good relationship with an ex. my ex's wife (barely 21) is a very nice girl and i let her know how much i appreciate her all the time. keep it postive. good luck

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by twins4life:
[b]I actually have two topics I'd like to get some answers on. One is that I have been married one time and got divorced and had two kids with my ex. I got custody because of his drug use,I since met another man and have been dating him for about 6 years. I had a son from him. We are still together but we seperated a year ago. He filed for custody for our son. We went to court but he had his friends sign papers stating that i was using drugs at the time we were together and He also said I left without telling him where i was going. Which both of them were lies because I called him several times and he called me too. Anyways we went to court and I got scared. He said he was only doing this to get me back. I didnt have a very good lawyer and he has money so he had a good lawyer. The judge ordered me to give our son to him for an extended visitation(4 weeks) and also ordered we both get a hair folicle drug test.(in which we both passed). I had little money but was making it but he called me while having my son in his care and said he was going to win custody, we could stop this if I just came back. Well I went back. What I guess I'm asking is if I leave again what prepartions should I take so I could get custody of our son. My boyfriend is mean too my other kids and he yells and calls them name. He has been violent towards me, and wont let me work to make money. In which I have started school and trying to get a good job, I told him that I was going to get on my feet. I think he thinks I cant make it without him but I know I can. I want to know what I can do for all of my kids to be together. I dont drink or do drugs. He is also going to court with his ex wife. While we where not together he had another women stay the night while he had his daughter over for visitation. The ex likes me and his daughter loves me. But they dont want me to stay with him because of the way he treats me and the kids. I have a good relationship with his daughter but my boyfriends mother cant stand me so she told his daughter a few things about me to make her not like me. The daughter came and told me about it and I told her, her grandmother was a liar and the daughter is not talking to any of them. My boyfriends now tells me I cant have anything to do with his daughter and our son is not allowed to see his daughter. I want them to have a relationship. My boyfriend is giving up his rights to his daughter because she told her mother about the other women staying the night. What can I do so I can have a relationship with his daughter and still keep peace with my boyfriend?[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


First of all what state are you in?
Second of all, get all your ducks in a row. If possible tape record his violent outbursts against you and the children and if possible his threats about custody of the child you two have together.
Third, contact your local legal aid society and see if they can assist you. In cases where there is physical or emotional abuse they will get you protective orders and also an emergency temporary custody hearing... You need to do what you can to have a place to live, a way of providing support for you and the children... then let the courts do their magic. What happened at the previous custody hearing? was it dismissed with prejudice? You dont have to pay big bucks
to an attorney you can get a pro bono or legal aid to help you...
Good luck...

I live in Sc, and the custody hearing he got our son for four weeks, and when I went back to him we both got the court to drop the case since we were back together but since then i hate him for lieing to the court and lieing about me being a bad mother. I have recorded him since and i have other document from our counselor of things he has admitted to doing. I want a relationship with his daughter and I dont know what to do. Im miserable the ways things are. Im just scared that i might loose my son <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TxBlu:
[b]
First of all what state are you in?
Second of all, get all your ducks in a row. If possible tape record his violent outbursts against you and the children and if possible his threats about custody of the child you two have together.
Third, contact your local legal aid society and see if they can assist you. In cases where there is physical or emotional abuse they will get you protective orders and also an emergency temporary custody hearing... You need to do what you can to have a place to live, a way of providing support for you and the children... then let the courts do their magic. What happened at the previous custody hearing? was it dismissed with prejudice? You dont have to pay big bucks
to an attorney you can get a pro bono or legal aid to help you...
Good luck...[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The first thing you have to do after getting the evidence you need is to see a lawyer, try calling the legal aid society in SC and also call around to see if there are any locally that will take your case pro bono. Worry about the relationship with the step daughter later, after you get your life together. Your main priority should be to make sure your kids do not suffer at this man's hands any longer. There are organizations and people out there that will help you, what he is doing amounts to Psychological abuse and should not be allowed to happen.... I hope all works out well and good luck...