kids growing up

I've had custody of my son since he was born, when he turned fifteen he wanted to live with his dad,I thought it was just phase
but my ex buys him everything under the sun I can't compete I don't think that he wants
to come back home He rarely visits cause his dad keeps him real busy.Now his dad wants me to give up all rights to him,I can't let my son go please give me advice on this issue?

How easy is it to take away legal custody away from a parent? What does it mean to be an unfit mother?

This is in response to Scared Mom. Don't give up your rights as your son's mother. If you love your son, then keep your rights. It may be a tough time for you right now, but it really is just a phase. All teens enjoy material things, but as he grows older, he'll want to know that he's loved. Don't give up on him. Call him, write to him, love him. Let him know you're there for him.

I agree with lorib. It's only 3 years til he's an adult - don't give up your rights now, that would just be a "test" to a teenager - in older years, they would think "my mom gave me up" You don't know it now but you will, 3-4-5 year WILL make a difference in his mind; you may feel like the "loser" now, but wait it out and it will be worth it . . . . been there . . if you need to talk - tiffanyv@pcpartner.net

I agree with lorib. It's only 3 years til he's an adult - don't give up your rights now, that would just be a "test" to a teenager - in older years, they would think "my mom gave me up" You don't know it now but you will, 3-4-5 year WILL make a difference in his mind; you may feel like the "loser" now, but wait it out and it will be worth it . . . . been there . . if you need to talk - tiffanyv@pcpartner.net

If you have legal custody of him, then he should be living with you. However, it is only natural, now that your son is older, that he wants to spend more time with his dad, especially since his father is giving him whatever he wants. I think that it is in your son's best interest to be with his father more, now that he is older, but I assume that you DO still have custody of him. Since you have custody, you could make him live with you. Maybe you should inform him about this and then give him the option of either living with you or having regularly scheduled visitation with you (every other weekend, 1 day per week, alternating holidays, etc.) I would not completely give him up to his father. At the very least, you should have regularly scheduled visition.

I don't agree with September. First of all, your son is old enough now to decide where he wants to live and have the courts allow that to happen. Not only that, since your son does want to live with his dad and the relations between you and your son are strained, then it is not in your best interest to make things worse by forcing him to live with you.

I am on both sides of the coin. . .I have a son whose Dad live in IN and we live in MA. I get scared to death every time he wants to live with his Dad, but then he goes there every now and then for school vacation and knows that's not where he wants to be. He's 15 also.

I also have a 16 yr. old step daughter that has wanted to live with us for the past 3 years, she moved in with us last June. She resented her mom for a long time for not letting her move with us.

Keep the faith. Your son will realize eventually how much you love him. Make sure you show him.