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Is it legal to collect day care w/ support and not use it for day care?

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C

Christian Dad

Guest
I am recently divorced and my ex-wife demanded daycare at tune of $108 a month and as of Friday, my adopted son, will have NOT been in daycare for a single day. The divorce papers and the first payment for child care was paid as of April 1st. I have no problem paying for the daycare if were truly in it.

I live my life opposite of her and this is causing me to be hesitant to seek legal representation. I became a Christian in 1999 as a direct result of being seperated. I work really hard, have a good job, love my son to death but every time she breaks the law or the divorce decree, I refrain because I know from my son, that she says very inappropriate things to him about me and what ever the situation is. I am afraid that if I do something, my son will pay for it.

Does anyone know what I should do? I know action is morally acceptable in the eyes of the church, but is it worth the Repercussion on my son?

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Dennis Gleason

[This message has been edited by Christian Dad (edited June 28, 2000).]
 


F

fellowchristian

Guest
i am not sure about the laws, but i do not think it is morally wrong to defend yourself. if your ex-wife is lying about things, she is the one that is doing wrong. and you should not have to pay money for something that she isn't using. just pray to god for peace, and do what you have to do. good luck.
 
P

paula2

Guest
I too am a christian, I grew up in a christian home. My first husband of 12 1/2 yrs. rarely attended church which made it very hard to have the right home life. So I slide away from my beliefs. After our seperation I too rekindled My love for God. In return he sent me a wonderful christian man. I, Like you, try to bend over backwards to accomodate my ex and make things smooth for my daughter. It has been over 2 yrs. since the divorce and he continues to take me to court over silly things. I go again on the 7th of July. His first lawyer refuses to represent him anymore because of the lies and says "he's nuts". He's lied to his new lawyer, and mine seems to think the judge is going to be upset with him this time. You are not alone. I have found many christians on this site, whom have prayed for me and I for them.

You can ask your lawyer to send a letter to her lawyer stating that the child is not in day care, and request that when and if he is, that you pay the day care facility yourself. If your ex refuses to sign the amendment, go to court. The judge will be upset that she is collecting money for something that is not being implimented. The juge will find your request fair for wanting to pay day care personally. If her lawyer informs her she can get in trouble for this and tells her it is in her best interest to sign the amendment.....I think she will. It will save you both alot of trouble and time.

My daughter is 10 1/2 and when she hears things from her dad, she tells me, I then sit her down and tell her the truth. I also tell her that her dad is bitter and we need to pray for him. That I care about her dad and don't want anything bad to happen. I don't know why he does or says the things he does, but it is not because of her, that he loves her and doesn't mean to hurt or upset her. That his anger is directed toward me. I'm sorry you have to get caught in the middle. I explain that when God is not the head of the house, Satan tends to distort our thoughts and we don't have the peace and joy we need to be happy and if we are not happy we usually don't want anyone else to be happy. I tell her not to worry because we will take it to pray and ask God to make him happy so he will want everyone else to be happy. And when her dad does and says things about me that aren't nice, I tell her that It doesn't bother me because God is in control and he will take care of things, and we are not to worry. That if her dad and I didn't do anything else right in our lives the one thing we did do right, was have her. That we both love and adore her very much, and things will get better.

I wish you alot of luck, and my prayers are with you and yours. Maybe some of this will help. Be strong, keep your chin up and your eyes toward heaven. God is on our side. Remember satan sends mind aboding spirits to discourage us and steal our joy. These are times when we can't do things on our on.....only take them to God in prayer and ask him to lend us his strength, wisdom, and guidence to see us through. Just remember God works things out in his own time not ours....so be patient and keep the faith.

Good Luck and God Bless. :)
 
C

Christian Dad

Guest
I appreciate the feed back from those that have given me support. I will look into your suggestions and hopefully, the Lord will guide me down the path he feels is just. Please feel free to continue to give me suggestions and advice. I can use every bit I can get.

Thanks. GWG

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Dennis Gleason
 

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