LegalBeagle: Another Question re Custody Change

Ok, so I got from your posts yesterday that full custody is going to be next to impossible to get. I am going to consult with my attorney tomorrow @ 10am and see what she has to say (she knows the judges in our town, former cases, etc.)

My question for you:

Would joint legal custody be better to go for? More visitation for me (right now I only have every other weekend and Wednesday evenings - I want holidays *2 weeks at Christmas and Easter* and summer extended visits), as well as joint decision making ability regarding his school, medical care, etc.. Would this be more likely to be granted? (I'm sure more likely than going after full custody)

How easy is it to obtain joint custody when the custody is currently solely with one parent?

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~God gave me three angels!~

[LegalBeagle]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by AMomInNC:
[b]Ok, so I got from your posts yesterday that full custody is going to be next to impossible to get. [/b]

This is the third time I have had to say this.. but, I NEVER said it was next to impossible. I was trying to help you get your mind correct in what your approach is going to have to be. Saying that your life has changed will not cut it. I suggest you read the case you quoted again. Not for the fact that she got custody, but where they talk about having just cause to petition for a change in the first place. They discuss at length whether her changing her life around even justifies a valid petition and a major change in circumstance.

My 'advice' for what it is now worth, is to collect all the evidence you have on why he should not have custody. You checked a lot of the items off on the list I provided, so get that proof together. Take that to your meeting with your attorney.

I am sorry, but you getting a job, marrying and now having a home is not going to cut any ice with a judge in a custody petition. This goes for any change in custody, so going from sole to joint also falls under the same points. However, that would be 'slightly' easier to change as you could then dwell on your change of circumstance a great deal more.

As far as visitation, you have an excellant chance to change that and can dwell on your new life as much as you want including your new home and lifestyle.

Anyway, good luck and let us know what your attorney thinks of your evidence. I can not see it so can not comment.

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MySonsMom:
[b]I'm sorry AMom, but you reamed LeagleBeagles a** on the last post that he tried to help you with, and then you ask him for his help again? Hhmm, kind of odd.[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks babe.. I have a book down my pants today so can handle it

Thanks Legal. Unfortunately, most of the evidence is from my son and I don't know that a judge will listen to him or put much weight on his words. The history of domestic violence is over 6 years old (he was on probation for 5 years for abusing me) so I doubt that will affect anything. The school records will be easy enough to get, to show his grades falling and trouble, etc. since he's been with dad.

I was told by my former attorney that there was no reason I should not get extended holidays and summer visitation, so I'm fairly confident I'll get those. I think it's also important to get joint decision making ability regarding school, medical, etc.. Do we have to have "joint custody" to do that?

My son needs operations on both legs and feet (cartilage damage) later this year and as it is now, I have no say in the doctors or any of his medical care.

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~God gave me three angels!~

[MySonsMom]

Yes, joint custody will give you the right to any of his school and medical records. It also gives you the right to be active in important decisions regarding the child. I would highly suggest trying to more visitation, and joint custody. This day and age, joint custody is awared almost automatic unless there are reasons that it wouldnt be in the best interest of the child. I really do wish you luck, as I feel you truly want the best for your son.

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

Thanks MySonsMom. I have joint legal & physical custody of my younger two children (see my post under "Need more time with the kids") and it's a great situation for us all.
But again, it only works if both parents make it. I hope this will be a wake-up call for my oldest son's father to start putting the child's best interests first instead of his "control".

I'll let you know what my lawyer says tomorrow!

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~God gave me three angels!~

[MySonsMom]

Do you mind me asking if your 2 younger children live with you?

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

In the interest of saving time and space, you can look at my post under "Need more time with the children" to see our situation. Basically, they spend 1/2 their time with me, and 1/2 with dad. I know alot of people think this is horrible for kids, but it really works great for us.

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~God gave me three angels!~

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AMomInNC:
[b]Thanks Legal. Unfortunately, most of the evidence is from my son and I don't know that a judge will listen to him or put much weight on his words. The history of domestic violence is over 6 years old (he was on probation for 5 years for abusing me) so I doubt that will affect anything. The school records will be easy enough to get, to show his grades falling and trouble, etc. since he's been with dad.
[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You can only bring up stuff between the last custody agreement and today. So concentrate on the last 3 years. You attorney will be able to tell you the chances of having your son heard. It is different everywhere and if she knows the judge, then she will be in a great position to advise on how to go about that.

Joint custody is supposed to give you a say in the upbrining of the child, but it all comes down to the cooperation of the CP. Even with Joint, if he does not include you, there is little to be done except drag him back to court every 5 minutes. Gets very costly.

Example, He wants son to go to school A, you say School B. He enrolls him in School A anyway. So, what you going to do ? Mediation would be the natural first step. That breaks down because he continues to say School A.. So, you take a minor point (in the judges eyes) to court. The judge listens and unless you have a very good reason for School B, then the judge orders School A. Result, a lot of time and money and the child is in School A. Makes Joint Legal Custody close to worthless huh ?

The key, when you do not have physical custody lays with visitation. The more time you have with the child, the more chance that you can help in the development of that child.

If your attorney does not think the petition has weight or the child will not be heard, then concentrate on increased visitation. Otherwise, try for both.