lost soul

I live in North Carolina now but almost 13 years ago I lived in South Carolina with my parents at the age of 16. Back then I gave birth to a baby boy. My mother and father told me that they were going to help me raise him. Soon after my son was brought home from the hospital my mother put all of the baby stuff in her room and she would not let me be a mother to him. Not long after that my mother and father made it so unbearable trying to be a mom to my son so I left home. My mother and father would not let me take my son with me. They told me that he was NOT my son but he was their son. I did speak to a lawyer at that time and I was told that I could get him so the lawyer took me back to my mother and fathers house and I got my son from them. Two days later My mother came to my school and job and told me that I would never have enough money to fight for my son and they would get him from me. My two older sister signed me out of school just days later and took me to my mother and fathers lawyeres office to sign adoption papers. At that time the lawyer told my parents that I was not able to sign them because of the state of mind I was in. It took two more visits and my life being threatened for me to sign the adoption papers. I did not want to put my son up for an adoption even though it was with my parents. I wanted to be a mother to my son. I never got the court date. I never had legal advise for myself. I was never given any papers on the adoption and I was afraid for my life. I'm now 29 yrs old married to a wonderful man and have a set of 3 yr. old triplets. With all the love I have they can not fill the bottomless hole I have for my first born. I told my parents through the years that I still love and want him but they have made it very hard for me to even see him. They keep moving so I cannt find them. They have told my 6 sisters things so they wont want to help me. They have even tried to get my twin sister to hate me so she wouldnt help me. My twin sister and I are very close and now I have a relationship with two of the older sisters. They want to help in any way they can but we dont know how to go about doing it. My mother and father have always been very violent and my father has already told me that if I even tried he would put a bullet in my head without a second thought. My sisters and I do know that he is capable of doing it. But we also believe in our hearts that what they have done and what they are still doing is wrong. I dont have any papers what so ever to even prove that I gave birth to him. My parents made sure that I left with nothing. I only know the date, the name of the hospital, the doctors name, the hospital braclet that I wore. I also have my fathers S.S#. I pray that someone can help me in my search to be with my son again.

I am one of the sisters on your side. I am here for you. Its about time we come together to overcome the hate our Mother and father brought us up on. They had seven daughters of their own and always told us that we were not wanted. To have a boy is what they always wanted and then their scared 16yr. old had a boy. They have always played us agaist each other so we would never talk to each other and realize the truth. Good for you to seek the truth and I am very proud of you. I will always be there for you no matter what! I love ya forever!
Lost Soul, too

I am terribly sorry you had to endure that type of pain. Especially being from your own parents is horribly. Where was the child's father through all of this? Was he listed on the birth certificate? How can someone sign adoption papers without both parents signing? You know you hear how a young girl gives birth and signs the baby for adoption. Years later the father comes along to discover he has a child that he never knew about and wants his child. He goes to court and says that he can prove in paternaty that he is the child's father and that he never knew anything about an adoption until recently. He then fights for his child and sometimes wins. That's just something i've heard to happen. Do you know where your parents are now? Have you talked to a lawyer recently? I know it seems hopless b/c you don't know where the child is. I would definitly look into hiring someone to find your father since you DO have his soc. sec. number.

The nature father was told from our parents that she had an abortion. He gave our parents the money to cover it. My parents spent it on other things. The natural father now knows about his son. He is willing to help in anyway he can. We did find out where our parents are. They keep moving because of this whole thing!

I am one of the older sisters. I was not around when all of this transpired, as my parents made sure that my siblings would not want anything to do with me. I recently had occasion to speak with 3 of my sisters, and we have been able to talk about our lives and the stories that our parents have been telling each of us. This should have never happened to my sister, she was wronged. This adoption was done under duress and coercion.
I know what it feels like to loose a child, as I lost one of my children 15 years ago. The difference between my sister and I, is that my sister does not need to be going through the torment of loosing a child, when the child is still alive. Please, if there is someone out there that can help, and is willing to help, my sister does not need to spend any more time mourning a child, when the child is still in this world. At 16 years old, she was not made aware of all of her options, and she did not receive legal advice that she should have gotten. My parents were able to convince her that she would never win. She did not want to loose her son. She has already lost a lot of years with him, please don't let her loose any more. I love you sis, and now that we are together, we will not be torn apart again. I will do whatever it takes to help you.

Well if you know where they are then go to a lawyer an supena them to court . If anything the natural father can fight for custody and if everyone is willing to testify on behalf of the 16yr. being threaten and used and can prove it I think you have a winning case. The only downside is the child is 13yr.old and your mother and father are the only parents he knows . SO have you thought about how it will affect him . Please do not think it will be a easy battle because it will not . The one that will get hurt the most is going to be your son because his life as he knows it will be turn upside down and if you think he will be running to you with open arms think again. He is a cruical point in his life now 13 is a rough age for little boys . He will rebel and will have a problem trusting anyone . So please think what you will do to him you will completely shatter him. I know you are in pain but please think about what you will do to him mentally . If you think he will get through this with out a scratch think again .... He will be the one to suffer the most.

This is in response to the person who responded by saying that this would shatter this little boys life.

First let me say to all of you that we already know are going to respond with that same phrase. In order to understand how this little boy will really grow up, you would have to understand the dymanics of this whole situation. The people that this little boy know as his parents, are making this boy live a lie. Since my sisters and I know our parents, we know all too well, the kind of information that is being fed to this child. We have considered what this might do to her child if indeed she does decide that her course of action is to bring this child back into her life. We also have to consider what all of us went through when we were growing up, and what we are learning about what our parents were able to lie to us about. And, if that does not do it for you, I have a perfect example for you: When I left home at 16 years old, the last thing that my mother told me was that she would make sure that my sisters hate me and never want anything to do with me. She then went home and told 3 little girls ranging in ages from 9 and 11, that their older sister was going around telling people that her father was molesting her. This story was not true, but fabricated by my mother to make my sisters never want to have anything to do with me. If this woman is capable of telling such an untrue story about one of her own children, what other things is she capable of telling people. What kinds of storys has she told this little boy? This child does not need to be living a lie, and he certainly does not need to be growing up with all of that hate that my parents are passing on to him

This boy knows us as sisters so we are not strangers to him. Also do you think that he should stay with people that stole him? What they did was and is illegal! They know that and that is why they are running! Yes we are awhere of how this is going to affect the boy but we also are awhere of the people that have him remember that they are our parents. We know all about the hate they have and we know that that is not a proper place for a child to grow up! Having him stay in that house with them is not in the best interest of the child!

My question to you is why did you wait 13yrs. to fight for him back . You better have a good response because that is exactly what the judge and the little boy is going to ask . If you know these people are mentally abuseing him why did you wait so long ? Please understand I am on YOUR SIDE!!! I am asking question that are going to be asked to you 50 million times. If you have not seen you parents in years and they continue to move that little boy can not know you to well . I am not condoning what your parents have done to you but now the story is not about you no more it is about this little boy . He is going to get the shock of his life are you willing to be the person that will make his life a living hell for awhile . He will eventually as he gets older except it and be thankful but sure will not be in the beginning . Are you and your husband and your other children ready to face the problems that this child will bring ?It is going to be hard for everyone especially him . You are older now you cope better this little boy will not know how to cope . Have you thought about putting him in counseling better yet you and your husband with him because it will be a very trying time for all .

Waited 13 yrs because if you were told that if you did anything then a bullet would be put in your head and believe the source it came from I think that most people would do the same dont you?

PLEASE, LET ME EXPAILN A FEW THINGS. I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT HIM AND HIS FEELINGS, AND HOW THIS WILL DEVASTATE HIM. ESPECIALLY HIM BEING ALMOST A TEEN AND WHAT HE IS GOING THROUGH ALREADY. AND HOW ALL HIS LIFE THE 2 PEOPLE WHO RAISED HIM, THAT'S ALL HE KNOWS AS HIS PARENTS AND TO FIND OUT ANY DIFFERENT IS GOING TO CRUSH HIM, BELIEVE ME THAT'S ALL I THINK ABOUT!!!
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, ALL MY LIFE I HAVE JUST DONE AS MY PARENTS SAID AND BELEIVED EVERYTHING AND UNTILL NOW I HAVE HAD NO ONE TO HELP ME, WHEN I TALKED TO MY SISTERS AND FOUNF OUT MY PARENTS TOLD ONE OF THEM THAT MY MOM SAID SHE GAVE BIRTH TO HIM AND MY DAD DELIEVERED HIM, MY HEART FELL. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WAS SO EASY FOR THEM TO TAKE HIM AND MY RIGHTS AWAY AND NOW I LOOK TO BE THE EVIL PERSON TRYING TO HAVE WHAT I SHOULD HAVE HAD THEN, THE CHANCE TO RAISE MY SON.

I NEVER WAITED, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID SOMETHING BUT I WAS PUSHED ASIDE LIKE I WAS THE ONE WHO LOST MY MIND AND THEN THEY MOVED AND NO ONE WOULD TELL ME WHERE THEY WERE. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST FROM DAY ONE! BUT THEY WANTED IT TO LOOK LIKE THEY HAD THEM AND THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO TELL HIM, THAT IS THEIR PLAN. THEY HAVE ALREADY TOLD ME THEY WOULD LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEFORE I GET HIM BACK. I DO WANT TO ASK A QUESTION, I AM THINKING OF MY SON, BUT ARE THEY? WOULDN'T BEING HONEST TO HIM FROM DAY ONE, HELPED HIM, YES, AND NOW THEY HAVE TO LIE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE TO COVER THIS UP. KNOWING HIS REAL SISTER AND BROTHERS AND KNOWING HIS REAL MOTHER AND FATHER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED YEARS AGO AND I THINK THAT IT IS NOT GOING TO GET ANY EASIER NOW OR LATER AND HIM RUNNING INTO MY ARMS IS THE LAST I AM THINKING, I KNOW THERE IS GOING TO BE HATE FEELINGS, QUESTIONS, CONFUSION, AND CRUSHED HEARTS BUT I KNOW WHAT IS THE TRUTH AND THAT'S ALL I CAN GIVE HIM AND THEN WORK ON A RELATIONSHIP

A broken heart can be mended but memorys can not.

This is just a little helpful recommendation, I would first start with trying to obtain a copy of yoru medical records from the hospital, something to show proof you gave birth to the child, secondly, go to the attorney that your parents hired and request a copy of the adoption papers...
my email is txblu@excite.com and I can try to find some resources for you on the web. You may even want to start writing your legislators, state representatives and Attorney General to help you. There are also advocacy groups that can assist you with this. My prayers are with you and forget about all the negative postings here.But first of all you need to obtain as much written documentation as you can regarding your child, the birth and your parents that you can.

ok, I have been waiting to see some of the replys before i wrote anything. I am the twin sister of the woman who wrote the topic. This is something my sister and I have been dealing with for 13 years. I was in pain about the whole sistuation but I never realized how miuch pain my twin was in untill I saw her topic. I feel like I have been selfish about thinking how tough my life is and my problems that I never considered her feelings about her son. I figured after she had her triplets that the pain would go away but it didnt, it was just buried deeper untill i saw this topic. We have lived without our parents for over 13 years. Actually longer then that. When growing up all I saw was every sister of mine was leaving home or being kicked out, and I was told different stories about why they left and they didnt care about me. One of my sisters I havent seen for 12 years. I got on the internet and lord and behold she gets in contact with me. We sisters that are finally getting back together have lost so many years because of our "MOM", i cant call them my parents because me being a parent i would never do what they have done. If there are any parents reading this then you know what I'm talking about. She has ruined my life mentally, and also my twin. At 16 years old after my sister had her son, she moved out with her son and I was told I couldnt talk to her or i would be kicked out of the house. After they adopted the child, my sister was no longer going to school so it was impossible for me to see her but one day I stopped her on the side of the rode to give her pictures of her son. I went home like I usually would and I walk in with my clothes packed and they told me to choose between them, Well i chose her, of course. From then on her and I have never been apart. The people we call parents have seperated us with lies and made us loose so many years with our siblings. These should not be parents. My sister has tried to have a relationship with our parents and they would visit her but they saw that the boy got close to her, so they havent talked to her for 2 years. She tried just having a brother sister relationship with her son the way our parents wanted but they took that away from her. My sisters are finally together,(4 of us) the others we dont talk but together we are going to help our sister to straighten this out, what they did is wrong ang the sad thing is that this boy is going to hate all of us for the lie. They should have been the grandparents instead of the parents. They were selfish because of always wanting a son since having 7 girls. Now that they have the boy they have disowned their own children. Now what is right? Sis I love you with all of my heart and I will always be here for you. I will fight to the end and I want you to know that I'm sorry for not thinking about how you were feeling through this. I love you, and other sisters writing thank you and I'm glad we are dinally together.

After reading this stuff, I feel I have to set the record straight. These 4 people are very bitter. Something has to be terribly wrong in all of your lives to want to start trouble. And you, mybabyjim are the worst. Oh so you want what is best for the boy do you? Well then leave him alone. Look in your own back yard and think long and hard and be totally honest with yourself. Do you honestly think that he would now or even in the past or in the future have any kind of decent life with you and your husband and 5 children? Think about the life he has had since being adopted by your mother and father. In a private school and not because anyone was afraid you would find him but because it provided the best education. Or is that not important to you? Well it is to his mother and father. Look back at all the lies you have told in your little forum here. You say they have moved so you couldn't find them, thats a crock and you know it. You say they didn't want you to have a relationship with the boy. Think back will you. Whose idea was it for the child to come and stay with you a few weeks of the summer a few years ago, so that he could get to know you, and then after that tell him the truth? I seem to recall that it was your mother and father who came up with that idea. Who was the one who didn't want to do it that way. I seem to recall that it was you who wanted to do it differently, you wanted to tell him right then and there without any kind of preparation. The kid was what 10 years old at that time. You were only thinking of yourself and not how it would affect this child. The four of you talk about what a terrible childhood you had, what evil and abusive parents you had. Give me a F---ing break. And miss gabrielladyk, what crap you spout. The one who kept doing this and that and calling your mother and father to help you out. And help you out they did, many times. You want to talk about someone who lost a child why don't you talk about how you left your child with a drug user who went to jail frequently. Was it because he just didn't fit into your new life. And the sad thing is all that boy wanted was to be with his mother. Did you ever send him birthday and christmas presents? How about child support? The really sad thing is that, as smart as you used to be, you could have have been anything, done anything with your life. What a waste.
OK scornedtwo, another total waste. you really ought to talk about things that you know are a fact. you talk about the natural father not knowing anything except that he gave your mother and father money for the abortion and that they spent it on other things. Ask mybabyjim what really happened to the money. But in case she has another memory lapse, she went clothes shopping with that money. Want to talk about things that are not right? How about the baby you gave up for adoption because it was not a girl and that was what you wanted. You want to talk about someone who shouldn't be having babies, take a really long look in the mirror.
OK twins4life, just a follower you are. But you did learn with the best of them about how to lie. And because all you know how to do is follow, I'll leave you to it. Another total waste.
THE THING I WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW IS, YOU DONT' EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. YOU KEEP SAYING WHEN THIS CHILD FINDS OUT THE TRUTH HE WILL HATE EVERYONE. GET A GRIP.
THIS CHILD KNOWS EVERYTHING. HE KNOWS MYBABYJIM IS HIS BIOLOGICAL MOTHER, HE KNOWS HIS MOM AND DAD ARE REALLY HIS GRANDPARENTS. BUT TO HIM THEY ARE MOM AND DAD. THE ONE THING HIS MOM AND DAD HAVE TAUGHT HIM ALL THRU HIS LIFE IS TRUTH. HE IS A WONDERFUL KID, VERY SMART. WHEN HE WAS TOLD THE TRUTH, YES HE DID ASK ALOT OF QUESTIONS. TONS OF QUESTIONS, BUT HE GOT THE TRUTH. AND HIS FAVORITE SAYING SINCE FINDING THIS OUT IS THAT GOD INTERVENED AND STEPPED IN AND THAT IS WHY HE HAS THE MOM AND DAD THAT HE HAS. HE KNOWS HIS MOM AND DAD LOVE HIM TO NO END AND HE LOVES THEM EVEN MORE. LOOK AT THE LIFE HE HAS HAD AND LOOK AT YOUR LIFE AND SEE IF YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN HIM HALF OF WHAT HE HAS NOW. THE 4 OF YOU SHOULD GET A GRIP AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. NOW THAT YOU KNOW HE KNOWS, IT IS UP TO HIM TO MAKE THAT MOVE AS TO WHAT HE WANTS TO DO. ONE THING HE IS NOT AND THAT IS SHY.