C
Confused Stepmother
Guest
I live in SD and have been married for over 12 years. My husband has two boys from a previous marriage. He was granted a divorce from his ex on the grounds of extreme mental cruelty and received joint custody of the two boys (having primary guardianship of them). At that time, the boys were 4 and 2. Both boys have lived with me and my husband up until about six months ago. They have always had visitation with their mother. She has continually been very difficult to get along with and has told the boys that things would be alot different if they lived with her - not as strict of rules, etc. She had gotten remarried after my husband's divorce from her, has since gotten divorced again, has moved to WY a few years ago with another guy, and now is single. The oldest boy is now 17 and moved to WY with his mother and this other guy about six month ago (this guy has since moved to a different town about a month ago). This was a mutual decision because he was unhappy with everything where we live - rules we had, school, friends, etc. We felt we couldn't deny him this move because of his age and because we didn't want to be blamed for mistakes he may make later on in his life if we didn't let him go. Our problems with my husband's ex have only gotten worse since this boy moved with her. She has attempted to alienate him from the rest of our family - we have two children together. We have kept in contact with him but it is very limited. There has always been a question on this boy's paternity; however, my husband did not want to know the truth. Now the mother has been playing mind games with my husband regarding blood types, etc. I don't know what mind games she may be playing with this boy. He seems to defend whatever she does. I can't prove anything; however, I believe she convinced this boy to move with her by telling him that my husband was not his real father. Recently we attended a baseball tournament that this boy was playing in and the other guy that is a possibility of being the father was also there - neither he nor we live in the town where this tournament took place. The mother visited with this other guy during the tournament. It is obvious that she has made contact with this other guy, and I am assuming it is for financial reasons. What options do we have at this point? If she has proven that this other guy is in fact the real father, is she obligated to notify my husband? How do we go about finding out what this boy has been told and if she is getting financial assistance from this other guy? My husband is listed on the birth certificate and would rather it be left alone - but it seems the mother is not going to let it rest. If my husband is not the real father, are we still obligated to financially support this boy? Can his ex get away with collecting financial assistance from two different guys? The mind games she has been play should also be considered extreme mental cruelty which was the reason for the divorce in the first place. Do we have any legal options to make the games stop? The other boy from this previous marriage is 15 years old and apparently his paternity is not in question. He is still living with us. We are very confused on how to handle this situation. Should my husband confront his ex? I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE!!
[This message has been edited by Confused Stepmother (edited July 28, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Confused Stepmother (edited July 28, 2000).]
