marriage problems

having problems with marriage...i WAS a jealous wife...he wanted seperation...stone set...wouldnt leave(couldnt financial)...he taked with someone...told dont abandon...we talked,cried & he asked for patience, i asked for hope...he doesnt want to get help...i do..i'm lost. what do i do?

Just because he doesn't want to get help, doesn't mean you can't. You can't control his actions, but you can control your own. Get the help you need and get on with your life, with or without him.

You sound a bit unraveled. The most important thing you need to do is calm down and think. Don't let yourself get out of hand, be strong and think about what you really want to do. You are probably a lot stronger than you think. You need to get some help regardless of what he wants or doesn't want to do. Do it for yourself. If he truly loves you, he will get help too. If not, then you need to get on with your life. Good luck, and God Bless you.

I am sorry for you having to go through this. I am in the middle of it myself and there is no easy answer. What does he do to make you so jealous? What could he do to reassure you and give you reason to trust him? What could you do to make him feel more at ease and not like he is in a place where he feels trapped. Love is a powerful thing and once you feel it you don't want to let it go. Some find it and keep it for a lifetime which is what I had thought I found. My wife works at a church, she's the most moral decent person I know and I found out recently that she had an affair and is pregnant. I still love her enough to want to work it out, but even though we have other children she still wants out. Try prayer and counseling. Counseling will only work if both sides are willing to give it 100%. Don't believe for one minute that you can confide in a member of the opposite sex about your marriage unless that person is a counsellor or a priest. It just adds to more problems. If your relationship is worth it to you, then don't give up until you can say you've tried everything. Remember you said "for better or worse" and "till death do us part". Those words weren't said for no reason and should not be taken lightly. Pray every day and night for your situation and do everything you can to save your marriage especially if children are involved. Good luck.