mom in jail

My stepdaughters Mother is in jail (PA). She has been there since Aug 29. Dad has physical custody of her. She is in for: possession of a small amount,endangering the welfare of minors, 8 bad checks and retail theft. She also has an indicated child abuse report on her. ( this is only one county) When she gets out of jail, there is a retainer on her to goto another counties jail (for 18 bad checks and 3 fines she never paid) She also was extradicted to a different county to serve time. She was a heroin user and did it in front of my 8 yr old step daughter. What are the chances we'll keep custody of her when she gets out of jail? Her family don't want us to have this child and will back her finacially to fight us. They don't care what she has done, they just want her to have her child back. We all live in PA

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[This message has been edited by helpmichelle (edited March 01, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by helpmichelle (edited March 03, 2000).]

My heart goes out to your little girl. Sounds like you love her in a way her mom will probably never know. Doesn't seem very fair in these types of cases that they(the courts) give so many opportunities to the birth mothers in the hopes that they will change. I hate to say it, but she will probably resume visitation rights at least as soon as she gets out of jail. If you are lucky, she will not get custody but it is a possibility dependant upon how 'good' she is. I know that it is hard for you to deal with this and more so for your husband, but please bear in mind that your daughter is affected most by what you say about and do to her mother. No matter what she has done, in the eyes of her daughter the woman can do no wrong. That's why abused children scream out for their abusive parents. They love them no matter what. In most cases, it is a beautiful love that cannot ever compare to another, but in a select few, it is hard to believe that the child can still love the parent after having been through and seeing so much at such a young age. I would get the best lawyer that you can and pray for the best. Place her life in the Lord's hands today. He will do what is best.....you may not like the way He goes about doing what is best, but He will see that it is done. God be with you and your family.

I would defintely get a good lawyer . I would also start keeping records of all the things that she has done . Keep a jounrnal about everything . When she calls and when she does not call . What state are you all in ? That plays a big part in it. Also I feel like a judge would be out of his mind to let her have custody of those children but i have seen it happen time and time again . i will tell you this if that was your husband in jail the judge would probably make him have supervise visitation. That is the bad part about our law system they protect the wrong people. Good luck!

i wish you the best of luck. you sound like you really care for this child. you should definitely get a good attorney. unfortunately, my boyfriend and i have just gone through a similar case where the mom spent a year in prison for embezzeling and was accused of using this money for drugs. she was released in november and when we went to court in december she was awarded custody of the 3 children. my boyfriend has no criminal record, he works hard and is a very loving dad. he took care of the kids for a year and worked extra hours so they would not suffer from the lack of income and all the bills she had incurred. her mother had the money to back her at court and she has some influential friends. we were devastated. the hardest was giving up their son who is now 19 mos old. he didn't even know her. he was born with clubfeet and while she was in prison he went through surgery. by boyfriend spent 3 nights at the hospital and many nights staying up to take care of him. but i think the judge felt sorry she had to miss these things and he felt kids belong with their mother. now the 2 daughters who ar 10 and 13 are almost being brainwashed and they have gone from loving kids to very distant to us. i hope things go better for you. i think you deserve a lot of credit for caring this much.

Hello I have read your story and I hope and pray that it all works out for the best.My mother is a Foster Parent for Child and Family services in Illinois.I know here if the parent is a known drug abuser they can only obtain visitation if they can prove to be clean and thy can not come to a visit if they are intoxicated in any way. She has been proven guilty of the abouse or not? I don't know about the law in other states but that is how it works here. If I was you I would get a hold of the Child Welfare people in the state that you live in and talk to them. It sounds like to me that she will be doing a lot of jail time if she gets lucky and is not sent to a prison. Once you get the Child Welfare people to back you the rest is easy. A judge will look at it all and consider all sides and with the Child Welfare people on your side it makes your case almost sealed.

Hello I have read your story and I hope and pray that it all works out for the best.My mother is a Foster Parent for Child and Family services in Illinois.I know here if the parent is a known drug abuser they can only obtain visitation if they can prove to be clean and thy can not come to a visit if they are intoxicated in any way. She has been proven guilty of the abouse or not? I don't know about the law in other states but that is how it works here. If I was you I would get a hold of the Child Welfare people in the state that you live in and talk to them. It sounds like to me that she will be doing a lot of jail time if she gets lucky and is not sent to a prison. Once you get the Child Welfare people to back you the rest is easy. A judge will look at it all and consider all sides and with the Child Welfare people on your side it makes your case almost sealed.

Thank you for your concern. The mother has so much influence over my step daughter. But I feel we are finally getting thru to her. Just found out last nite that the mother hits her w/a wooden spoon, for punishment. We called the jail to find out how long she will be in for, the man told me to grab a snickers its gonna be awhile. The longer we have w/her the more she is going to want to stay w/us.

We live in PA. The mother has not seen her or talked to her since Aug 29th 1999. As for keeping a journal----We started doing that in Dec. of 93. problem is noone wants to read them. The courts and the school are treating us like we are the bad people. your rite about the man deal. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tildawn:
[b]I would defintely get a good lawyer . I would also start keeping records of all the things that she has done . Keep a jounrnal about everything . When she calls and when she does not call . What state are you all in ? That plays a big part in it. Also I feel like a judge would be out of his mind to let her have custody of those children but i have seen it happen time and time again . i will tell you this if that was your husband in jail the judge would probably make him have supervise visitation. That is the bad part about our law system they protect the wrong people. Good luck![/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I know we will be going thru the sme thing as you are sometime. Sounds like she will be in jail for along time. Even tho we have an indictated abuse report on her and in it she said that because she was under the influence of heroin she often past out and that her friend who did the abuse was also under the influence and therefor she could not protect her child. nice huh? the boyfriend put a cigar out on my step daughters elbow. the burn was the size of a half dollar. the mother never even got her medical attention. it really sucks cuz deep down inside i know were gonna lose. her family also has influences in our county