moving out of state

I have recently seperated from my boyfriend, we have a four year old son together...We moved to North Carolina 5 years ago, and now that we are no longer together I would like to go back to California to be near my family. I know legaly I can not leave North Carolina without concent from the father, which he is not willing to do...Under what circumstances would a judge award me permission to leave the state with my son..I have no family here and would like my son to know his grandparents and other close family members. We have no legal custody agreement just verbal...will I ever be able to leave North Carolina with my son?

Is there are NO court orders in place then you are able to leave NC without a judge given permission.... but once anything is filed in NC then that will change everything.

thats what I'm afraid of, getting settled in California and then having to come right back because his father has filed papers..I want to to it right.

You can not be forced to return to NC.. NC 'may' gain juridiction and you may be force to pay for part of your boyfriends travel for visitation.. but if there is no court order in place when you cross that state line, then they can not force you to return.

It comes down to the relationship you have with your ex and how you believe he will be when all this starts, or when you leave.

You could arrive in CA and file for custody. Although you would not have been in CA for 6 months, they may decided that it is in the best interests of the child for CA to assume jurisdiction because of the large family ties and continuing training, education etc..

Either way, once you file something in CA, he will not be able to progress anything in NC until a hearing has taken place in CA.

thank-you for your help!...My son and his father have a very strong relationship, and the best case scenerio would be that his father would move back to California with us as we both work for companies that would allow us to put in for transfers..I have tried for the last 4 years to make NC my home but my family ties are too strong and I miss them terribly...My ex has gone through two girlfriends since the break up and with the first he was very descret, now I just found out, he let his new girlfriend of only two months spend the night while my son was there, I know this because it was the first thing he told me when I called to say good morning...."kids say the darndest things" My ex has him only two nights a week, and I have him the rest of the week. It upsets me that he has 5 nights a week to spend with his girlfriend, and the two nights he has with his son should be quality time with only him..Is there anything I can do to keep him from letting girlfriend(s) spend the night while he is there?

You have some tough decisions to make as it is a lot harder when there is a relationship between the father and child. Also, if your ex thinks that you are on the verge of moving, he could start the court proceeding and make things a little more difficult for you. Remember, once a court order is in place, you can not just up and leave.. and if you do get a judge to let you leave, you may be liable for his travel costs for visitation.

As for the girlfriend thing.. all you can do is ask the father to be more considerate. It seems like you are on good talking terms. That is all you can do unless they are having sex in the kitchen in front of the child or she is abusing the child.