My daughter won't talk to me

[*dying_inside]

I have been trying to call my daughter since the last time I talked to her on April 22. Note that I got a letter from her dated April 20 that is begging me to please get her out of her dads house, to do whatever I can because she cries everyday and she can't stand it. I have been doing everything that I can to get custody of her back (she is 13 1/2) since I could afford to pay the attorneys fees.

Tonight, my current husband was finally able to get ahold of my ex. (Usually they don't answer the phone) He said that my daughter does not want to talk to me, and that she was going to come to court on July 13 to say that she wants nothing to do with me. My husband heard my daughter in the background say that she didn't want to talk to me.

I am so heartbroken and upset. I know that my ex has basically brainwashed my daughter to the point that she is scared to say anything but what her father wants to hear. But what can I do about it? If she does go to court and say that she wants nothing to do with me it will just kill me. Does anybody have any advice for me? Please???

 

[Ronne]

So sorry to hear about your situation. My husband and I are in the same boat. My SD lives with her mother, and wants nothing to do with my husband. He has not had visitation in 2.5 years. After he sent her a b-day card in March, she called 3 weeks later and told him never to contact her again. She told him he was not her "Father". It went on and on.

I don't have any advice for you. But I understand how it hurts. My husband pays his support, gives medical ins., and refuses to let her ruin his life anymore. She has chosen not to be a part of our family. It's her loss. One day, I expect she'll come nosing around when she wants money. I doubt seriously that she will be welcomed with open arms. You have to do what's right for you, but DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!

 

[*dying_inside*]

Thanks, Ronne.

Have you heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome? I have been researching it, and it sounds exactly what my daughter is going through (in the very early stages). It also sounds like what your stepdaughter is going through (although much more advanced) I feel so sorry for your SD, I really do. If this is what is happening to her, she is torn up inside over this. It may not be too late. How old is she? You can do a search on PAS, but here's one site to get you started:
(please have compassion for your SD. I know it seems like she just wants to hurt your DH, but it is the mother that is causing this, not her. )
http://www.coeffic.demon.co.uk/pas.htm

 

[maggiemay231]

Keep trying to speak to her don't give up. I am going thru the very same thing if you have not looked up PAS do it NOW. It may hepl to save you and your daughter. It has helped me in understanding what is happening. Good luck and just take comfort in the fact you are not alone. Keep fighting.