Need Help Despiratly

Oregon-Trying to get an attorney to understand what I need. Husband and his ex girlfriend went through mediation. Both parties were in an agreement. No lawyer involved. Mediator typed up agreement and it was finalized after 15 days of being mailed to the two of them. So it's been finalized for a month now. In the court order they both had to attend a parenting class. My husband did, she refuses. Now judge won't sign the final agreement, to make it completely legal, because she didn't take the class. Judge told us we would have to hire an attorney, which I am trying to do. Judge said must file a Status Quo to have the ex girlfriends parental rights delinquished so that we could get the final papers signed by the judge even though she never took the parenting class. Plus show she was in contempt of court which we would be doing when we filed the status quo. Here's the thing now. I've called 5 different lawyers. They all think that we have to start custody all over again and are saying we need anywhere from 1500 to 2000 for a retainer fee. I've explained to them the entire situation and they don't understand. What can I say to make them understand that the papers are already final, neither party can go back on the agreement. We just need this one paper to get filed to get the judge to sign the final order. We are trying to do this quickly because we have reason to believe she is going to take the boy and run. 3 1/2 has been scared to go back to his moms for fear that his daddy won't be able to pick him back up. Last night over an arguement she told my husband she was going to. I'm sure it's just a threat but we want to get the papers finalized asap as she is the type of person who would take boy so we couldn't see him. Until judge signs papers we can't press charges on her if she does. Please help.

You are probably not going to like what I am about to say, but I am prepared for it. You should get an attorney as soon as possible. Any lawyer worth his weight in salt will charge $1500-$2000 for a retainer. Why? The appearance will be around $750 and the rest is to make certain that the correct motions are filed and your rights are upheld. Could you borrow the money? In your situation, it would be imperative for you to get representation because if she is not doing what she is supposed to do and she flies the coop then you are left with no visible proof of anything. If you go to court and get a ruling and visitation with child support in place and she decides to leave, then you have the papers in place that say, No, she is not allowed to leave the state without your knowledge and that you have joint custody etc. Without that, you are in grave danger. If she leaves, and there isn't anything in place, what will happen. You can say....we had an agreement and the person at the court will say, Where? Then, you will have to
1. Find her
2. Serve her
3. Travel to where ever she is to file.
4. Then you will say, why didn't I hire a lawyer and have all this in place. I could just kick myself.

No, I am not a lawyer, but have learned lessons and hope to save others.

Thank you for your response. I am not one of those people who get mad if I don't hear what I want. I appriciate your advice entirely. I do have financial aid that I get next week that will come to 1500.00 So much for paying some bills I guess. It's all worth it. So even if she flees, and we do have a ligit agreement in place, there is still nothing we could really do? We can't press charges for kidnapping or anything? Thanks for your advice again.

since the judge hasn't signed off on the orders, there are no orders. I will ask our resident lawyer on this board to answer this further so wait a little while ok?

[LegalBeagle]

Why not just deny all future visitation until it has all been sorted ??

and of course, you got that threat on tape right ? ie, you are not having any unrecorded conversations with her ??

We never got the threat on tape because we were told that if we did record anything, and she was unaware, we wouldn't be able to use it anyways. The "not allowing visitation" isn't really an option as we have tried it before and got so tired of the harrasment ended up letting her see the boy again. Plus ended up with around 8 different case numbers from calling the police so much about the harrasment. There was nothing they would do as the dispatcher was a family friend of hers so they were all taking her side. The whole thing for that started when we found out her boyfriend was hitting her in front of the boy. We called police on that when we knew they were fighting and because of the family friend no charges were ever pressed against the boyfriend.

Now he is at our house 4.8 days a week and with her for 2.2. We really want to get the judge to sign it because 150 a month is being deducted out of my husbands paycheck for child support. The funny this is we are now supporting the boy entirely. We can't afford to be paying daycare, etc. and paying her child support. Letting her watch him isn't an option either. We want her around as little as possible. She's threatening now because the boy is 3 1/2, 4 in 2 months, and he tells her that he doesn't want to stay with her, he wants to go stay at daddy's forever. So that's why she's been threatening to take the boy and run, so daddy can't see him.

Way more information than you wanted to know I'm sure. I just wish there was a miracle that would happen that would make this all go away.