now its even worse

[friend of the child]

Now things are even worse. We can no longer talk to the child or visit with him, because he is punished. He is punished because his best friend gave him a birthday present and the stepmother was incensed that he had received a birthday present. Now he can have no contact with his best friend. The woman is now destroying not only one life but now two. Can he be prevented from writing and receiving letters by his stepmother?

 

[usdeeper]

I believe my original reply still stands.. Also, best to post updates to the same thread as it helps other people to help you..

Here is my other reply...

The only way you can help is financially. That is to pay for an attorney to file for a change of custody on the grounds of abuse. At 15, the child will probably get a chance to speak and providing he does not exaggerate, a judge would consider his request.

Also, if the bio dad is refusing to obey a court ordered visitation schedule then that is more reason to proceed.

I may get beat for suggesting this.. but another option, if the child is strong, is to pack his bags and go live with his mother. Yes, the biodad can file a police report, yes the police will come knocking on the biomom door.. but this is where the child needs to be strong and inform the police of the abuse and that he is not leaving. The biomom needs to step back and not interfere or it will be seen that she is stopping him and it may go against her in court..



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SMILE - Start Making It Livable for Everyone

Divorce is a process over which children have no control. Children should not be its victims.
When parents are under stress, it is harder to be in touch with their children's pain and anguish.
It takes time, effort, and planning on the part of the parents to be able to provide for the children's needs.
In the crisis of divorce, parents may put their children on hold while they attend to adult problems first.
Sometimes separating/divorced parents find that their roles and expectations are undefined and cloudy.
If handled properly, divorce need not be devastating for children.

 

[friend of the child]

Thank you for replying. The problem is that we have no way of paying for a lawyer either.
Isn't there something about a child requesting help? Or is that worse? We also need to know if we are violating any laws if his best friend writes him a letter. Can the stepmother prevent this? She works as a probation officer but I don't know yet if she has any rights over the child except what the father allows. Can she cause problems for us if we are trying to help the mother? Also if the mother allows the child to visit the best friend on her visitation time, is she doing something wrong that can hurt her case in the future?
This feels like the twilight zone. Yet we can't help but care to see the child so mentally and emotionally battered all the time.

 

[usdeeper]

The stepmother has no legal rights at all. However, with the biodads permission, she can treat him any way she wants. If she wants to refused him letters then she can. You can call it a form of abuse, but she can still do it.

When the child is in the care of his mother, then he can do what he wants regardless of the step mothers wishes.

The only option open in this situation is for the child to leave. When the police come, claim abuse and refuse to return. Make sure the mother does not interfere or they may take her to court. The boy has to be strong. However, at his age, if he does not want to live there, then there is little the police can do..