D
dwall
Guest
I have posted about this before, but things are becoming worse. My daughter is 9 and her dad and I were together (not married) on and off until she was 4. He was abusive and spent a lot of time in jail for hurting me. I married another man a year after we split up. My ex refuses to sign my daughter's birth certificate. There has never been any court custody, visitation or support ordered.
He sees her off and on when he isn't incarcerated, but even when he is out, he will see her once, then not again for months and so on. On the rare occasion when I get tired of his game playing with my daughter's feelings, I tell him he can't see her and to "take me to court." I always cave because she does know him as her dad, and does like to go see him sometimes. My husband is her "daddy" for almost 5 years now and would love to adopt her. My ex even lost the name change case for my daughter because the judge was appalled at how he admittedly blew in and out of our daughter's life. At the time we went to court for that last year, he hadn't seen "Amy" in almost 2 years.
Problem: I have been trying to work out visition with the ex because he wanted to "straighten up." Fine. Well, many months ago I filed with child support enforcement to finally get a child support order. He avoided the service for the court date. He called me today (he had offered to buy our daughter sneekers and a back pack for school)to tell me they are trying to serve him a subpoena again. He is LIVID! He told me he would never pay support, even if court ordered, and would never give me a dime to help raise Amy. (Like he ever has!!) He thinks because Amy's last name was changed, he is no longer resp. for support. I told him if he doesn't want to pay support, relinquish his rights to my husband. I will still let him see her if/when Amy wants because she does know him as "real" dad.
He refuses to do this. He said he can "string" me along as much as he wants to, and never pay, never see Amy, but if he is ever taken to court for adoption, he will not allow it. He will not ever sign her bc. Can he really have his cake and eat it too? Could I win an adoption suit against an unwilling dad, given his track record with the police and with his daughter? Any advice will be appreciated. If there is the slightest chance of winning an adoption suit against him, I will get an attorney immediately. I just don't want to waste a bunch of money if it is a lost cause.
He sees her off and on when he isn't incarcerated, but even when he is out, he will see her once, then not again for months and so on. On the rare occasion when I get tired of his game playing with my daughter's feelings, I tell him he can't see her and to "take me to court." I always cave because she does know him as her dad, and does like to go see him sometimes. My husband is her "daddy" for almost 5 years now and would love to adopt her. My ex even lost the name change case for my daughter because the judge was appalled at how he admittedly blew in and out of our daughter's life. At the time we went to court for that last year, he hadn't seen "Amy" in almost 2 years.
Problem: I have been trying to work out visition with the ex because he wanted to "straighten up." Fine. Well, many months ago I filed with child support enforcement to finally get a child support order. He avoided the service for the court date. He called me today (he had offered to buy our daughter sneekers and a back pack for school)to tell me they are trying to serve him a subpoena again. He is LIVID! He told me he would never pay support, even if court ordered, and would never give me a dime to help raise Amy. (Like he ever has!!) He thinks because Amy's last name was changed, he is no longer resp. for support. I told him if he doesn't want to pay support, relinquish his rights to my husband. I will still let him see her if/when Amy wants because she does know him as "real" dad.
He refuses to do this. He said he can "string" me along as much as he wants to, and never pay, never see Amy, but if he is ever taken to court for adoption, he will not allow it. He will not ever sign her bc. Can he really have his cake and eat it too? Could I win an adoption suit against an unwilling dad, given his track record with the police and with his daughter? Any advice will be appreciated. If there is the slightest chance of winning an adoption suit against him, I will get an attorney immediately. I just don't want to waste a bunch of money if it is a lost cause.
Right now, I have all the "say" since there is no court order in place for custody/visitation. But he could come along at any time in the future and start throwing his weight around and take me to court. When someone shows such obvious disregard for their child, how long can he have the best of both worlds (is dad, but doesn't act like it) until a judge will think it is enough? I have made an appointment with an attorney for next week to discuss adoption...he seems to think we might have some leverage to get him to ok the adoption by asking for current support, back support, insurance, and maybe even to get him to lose his rights by default by asking the judge to give him some sort of deadline to sign the birth certificate (that was just something he threw out there as a "possible" depending on the judge.)