Parental Rights - concerned aunt

[ohbratti1]

My brother and sister-in-law were separated 4 years ago and finally divorced 8 months ago. My family has made it clear to my sister-in-law that she is and always will be a welcome part of our family, not just my niece. She has embraced this and is very comfortable and "at home" with us. Three years ago she became involved with a wonderful man. He cares for her and my niece very deeply, which is very reassuring to us. We know that with him in her life, my sister-in-law and niece are in capable, caring hands. Their relationship was on and off for awhile...and is now on full steam. He's in the military and will be spending 2 years overseas. She is considering going with him. I support this decision, as long as my niece's needs are met. I believe it will be an excellent experience for her and my niece. Here comes the problem...my sister-in-law has made mention of asking my brother to relinquish his parental rights. I'm not very clear on her reason for wanting this. My brother loves his daughter and has helped out however he could, but has not always been financially responsible for her. He has improved by leaps and bounds in the last year. Whenever he couldn't provide, my family always stepped in and provided for my niece and sister-in-law. We assisted with everything from rides to work, clothing, food, entertainment, rent...right on down to loaning her money to buy a car. My brother loves his daughter very much and is saddened at the thought of being away from her for 2 years. He realises, however, that "Eddie" and my sister-in-law can provide a stable, traditional family atmosphere and that Eddie has always been there when he couldn't be. He does not want to take that away from my niece and is willing to do whatever needs to be done for my niece's happiness. That's why he (and the rest of the family) were knocked on our butts when my sister-in-law let us know what she wanted. How good are her chances of accomplishing her goal in regard to my brother's parental rights, and what position would that leave the rest of the family in? We're hurt that she would feel it necessary to make this request. We have always been supportive of her and have demonstrated our love to no end. We do not want to "lose" our niece. I don't see the need....my niece can have her dad and Eddie, too, and be twice blessed. Any advice or input?

 

[MySonsMom]

In order for parental rights to be relinguished, the parent has to sign them away or it has to be a case of serious neglect/abuse. If the child isn't in danger around your brother, and your brother doesn't sign away his rights to have her new husband adopt, there should be nothing to worry about. Good luck!

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~MySonsMom~

 

[Brigit]

OK, of course don't quote me on this one, but usually when one parent asks another to relinquish their rights, it means the new spouse may have intentions on adopting the child...letting go of rights means he would have no ties to the child...kids NEED two (or more!) parents...for her to do this, well, please don't let her...blessings with you on this one

 

[ace-red]

Been there and done that. My parents were divorced when I was 7, Dad was always available and like your brother paid as much as he could when he could. When Mom met Steve, things weren't wonderful (my fault, I really wanted Daddy back and I was the malicious one!). But Steve and Mom got married and a few years later Steve really was interested in adopting my sis, me and my bro. Dad understood that, in our case, this would be better. Salaries compared, Steve's was 4x that of Dad. He agreed and we saw him at least monthly, he didn't live close by this time. Steve and Mom were there with us at his funeral in 92. I took his name and he was now responsible for me...Don't worry if Eddie is the wonderful man you say, he is thinking of the best for your neice. How long have they been married? If it has only been a short time, then ask nicely to wait...the ink isn't even dry on the divorce papers yet...