Penniless for 7 months in order to pay bills.......

[DebraA]

Good Evening,

I live in Georgia and my husband lives in Florida (we've been separated for 3 years).

I left our primary residence and moved in with relatives (who charged me nothing) for the first 7mo of our separation so that my income would continue to be direct deposited into our joint checking account which allowed my ex to support our daughter, pay the bills and maintain the household. During this time I used my atm card for gas and minor expenses only, the rest was in the account for him to do with what he needed. Then when I decided it was time to get my own place, I then opened up my own account and began using my funds for my own household bills. At that point, I signed a "Quit Claim" deed over to him so that he could get a second mortgage to pay off some of the bills and we agreed on the level of child support that I would pay and I've been paying that faithfully ever since.

My question is this, can the money that went into our joint checking account for that seven month period be considered child support or lump sum alimony? Also, will the fact that I voluntarily signed over the house to him in order to settle some of our debts be viewed favorably by the judge in the divorce.

Thank you for your response ((*..*))

***Looks like someone posted a reply but it's not showing up...please repost!***

[This message has been edited by DebraA (edited November 02, 2000).]

 

[cat2young]

Have you filed for divorce? You state that you have been living apart for 3 years it sounds like you two have pretty much worked out the big issues ie. the house, custody, support. If there are any more and you can work them out all you need is a agreement and a judge to sign. But in answer to one of your questions it always looks good to the judge if you are willing to help the other person and provide for you child without the court having to tell you. Whether the judge would count you giving the house to him and the 7 months of support being considered alimony that would probably depend on the amount of money at issue, the lenght of time you were married, his postion before and after the marriage, ect. good luck

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[DebraA]

Originally posted by cat2young:
Have you filed for divorce? You state that you have been living apart for 3 years it sounds like you two have pretty much worked out the big issues ie. the house, custody, support. If there are any more and you can work them out all you need is a agreement and a judge to sign.

I have an appointment for the inital divorce consultation on the 16th. I guess the main reason for my inquiry is that even though I feel as if I've acted responsibly throughout our separation (I was the one that wanted out of the marriage) the problem is the closer it gets to actually getting the divorce the more strained our communication has become.

Even though we have worked through most all of the big issues, recently he has mentioned that perhaps my leaving could be considered abandonment? Which of course freaks me out! So, I guess I've been retracing my steps trying to figure out what more I could have done short of staying with the ***hole for the rest of life! lol.....

 

[navywife_tx]

Did you have contact with your child such as phone, letters or visits? If so, i don't see how that is abandonment. You were depositing money into the joint account and he was withdrawing money to pay bills and such, so therefore you were giving him money to help support her.

 

[DebraA]

<<Originally posted by navywife_tx:
Did you have contact with your child such as phone, letters or visits? If so, i don't see how that is abandonment. You were depositing money into the joint account and he was withdrawing money to pay bills and such, so therefore you were giving him money to help support her.>>

Yes I maintained constant contact with my daughter (I moved only 30min away). I phoned her almost every day and spent most weekends with her until I moved to Georgia two years ago. Since then I've paid for an extra aol account so she can e-mail and chat with me and I've driven down to Florida and picked her up for Christmas holidays, Easter and summer vacations. Obviously I've left out some details here such as the fact that I've continued to carry a "family" medical and dental plan on my insurance all this time which costs me quite a bit more, purchased clothes for my daughter during her visits etc.

I think maybe my ex has been trying to find out what all he is entitled to since I was the one who left him and is trying to scare me by using that word "abandoned". I don't think anything I did could possibly constitute "abandonment"?

 

[cat2young]

I have to agree. It sounds like you have do everything you can be expected to, I wish more people could be so resonable. Good luck and find happiness in your life

 

[navywife_tx]

It does appear that you DID NOT abandon your daughter. You stayed in contact with her both phone and physical so i don't see how anyone can say you abandoned her. If you would've moved and never phoned or came to get her for visits, then yes he could possibly say that you did in fact abandon her but you didn't. I agree that he is trying to scare you to see what he can get out of you by using that word.I don't want to get too nosey but why did you leave your daughter to begin with? I think i have an idea as far as where you were going to be living but i don't want to jump the gun. Unless i overlooked it, you didn't state your daughter's age either. How old is she? She may be old enough to say where she would like to live if it comes down to it. Good luck with your appointment on the 16th and don't let anyone screw you into thinking you abandoned you daughter. I've been where you are(sort of) so i know from experience.