S
satweewee
Guest
Hello- I am new on here and yesterday I told you about the papers that are going to be signed today by myself and my ex gf. In my last post I told you all about what is in the papers. Is this a reasonable plan to you all?
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LegalBeagle
Senior Member
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by satweewee:
Hello- I am new on here and yesterday I told you about the papers that are going to be signed today by myself and my ex gf. In my last post I told you all about what is in the papers. Is this a reasonable plan to you all? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
*If* you are good terms with each other then this plan is fine..
Hello- I am new on here and yesterday I told you about the papers that are going to be signed today by myself and my ex gf. In my last post I told you all about what is in the papers. Is this a reasonable plan to you all? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
*If* you are good terms with each other then this plan is fine..
U
Ukiah
Guest
Yes, they are Legal(after the judge signs them). And visitation should start immedialtely.Have it agreed before you sign anything that you and she will start the agreement today (in writing)
Now, to further assist you, did you divide up all Holidays, and school holidays? Summer vacations, fifth weekends? CP should allow NCP to have all fifth weekends since they aren't a set weekend in specific months. Oh and also state that you and she will not take the child out of state with out the prior permission of the other parent in writing.
It is good that you have specified that you will have acess to all records.
Even if you are getting along right now, things may go from good to bad and you both want to protect your child and your interests in being a part of the child's life.
Yes, so far it sounds good. Good luck with it!
Now, to further assist you, did you divide up all Holidays, and school holidays? Summer vacations, fifth weekends? CP should allow NCP to have all fifth weekends since they aren't a set weekend in specific months. Oh and also state that you and she will not take the child out of state with out the prior permission of the other parent in writing.
It is good that you have specified that you will have acess to all records.
Even if you are getting along right now, things may go from good to bad and you both want to protect your child and your interests in being a part of the child's life.
Yes, so far it sounds good. Good luck with it!
S
satweewee
Guest
well, well know by the end of the day if she has signed the papers. our attorney called her yesterday and read the papers to her and she was content in sigining them, so when the secretary got them all finished she was going to call her to set up an appointment to sign them, then notify me. we dont have set weekends-like it dosent say that the ncp gets second and fourth weekends-it says the ncp will have every other weekend. there are eight named holidays that alternate, and i also will have christmas eve and fathers day. she also called me one last time last night to make sure i had spoken with my attorney and i told her that they were going to call her for an appointment. Her tune has totally changed. we originally were going to court over visitation because she didnt want to give me any. But when she was subpoenaed she changed her mind and now is in a hurry to sign the agreement and start things. lucky for me! I think its a good agreement and signing these will save money and stress. I will probably meet my baby girl next week sometime. I am so very excited.
U
Ukiah
Guest
Make sure she can't find any loop holes. It doesn't sound like she is willing to give you what your and the child deserve.
You should have the weekends SPECIFIED otherwise, she could say that you had the baby last week and the cops may take her word for it.THAT'S a loop hole. I also suggest asking to divide equally ALL holidays including when the child starts school. This saves both time and money. M
My X and I have been to court so many times on visitation issues that not only did the Judge know our names outside of Court, but the police were breifed on our case as well!! We knew all the cops in town, by first name!
So please watch out. And divide up as much time as you can with your child. Consistency is best for the child.
You can ask for;
Either 1st and 3rd weekends
OR 2nd & 4th weekends
Fifth weekends NCP should have this weekend (when one is present to have the ability to spend more time with the child)
Your B-day every year, Father's day (and weekend)
School holidays divided up on Even and Odd years
Christmas Vac. split in two halves or alternate yearly
Easter Vac. Split or alternated yearly
Summer vacation should be split into two halves
Phone contact will not be denied or interrupted at any time.
Just trying to help.
You should have the weekends SPECIFIED otherwise, she could say that you had the baby last week and the cops may take her word for it.THAT'S a loop hole. I also suggest asking to divide equally ALL holidays including when the child starts school. This saves both time and money. M
My X and I have been to court so many times on visitation issues that not only did the Judge know our names outside of Court, but the police were breifed on our case as well!! We knew all the cops in town, by first name!
So please watch out. And divide up as much time as you can with your child. Consistency is best for the child.
You can ask for;
Either 1st and 3rd weekends
OR 2nd & 4th weekends
Fifth weekends NCP should have this weekend (when one is present to have the ability to spend more time with the child)
Your B-day every year, Father's day (and weekend)
School holidays divided up on Even and Odd years
Christmas Vac. split in two halves or alternate yearly
Easter Vac. Split or alternated yearly
Summer vacation should be split into two halves
Phone contact will not be denied or interrupted at any time.
Just trying to help.
N
navywife_tx
Guest
As i've seen MySonsMom say, everyone's situation is different so therefore, if he and the ex get along there is no reason for him to get all worked up b/c he didn't put the specific dates on the every other weekend phrase. I do understand that she could say he had his daughter last weekend when he didn't but just b/c you and your ex(Ukiah) couldn't get along doesn't mean the same will happen to him. It seems like you and your ex couldn't get along at all b/c the cops were briefed and the judge knew your names, that's pretty sad if you ask me. I'm not bashing you just saying that it's sad when custody arrangements work out like that. Hopefully his ex isn't going to jerk him around when it comes to seeing his daughter.
U
usdeeper
Guest
Of course.. this all depends on the age of the child.. if they are under 2 years old then no, it is not resonable at all.
U
Ukiah
Guest
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by navywife_tx:
As i've seen MySonsMom say, everyone's situation is different so therefore, if he and the ex get along there is no reason for him to get all worked up b/c he didn't put the specific dates on the every other weekend phrase. I do understand that she could say he had his daughter last weekend when he didn't but just b/c you and your ex(Ukiah) couldn't get along doesn't mean the same will happen to him. It seems like you and your ex couldn't get along at all b/c the cops were briefed and the judge knew your names, that's pretty sad if you ask me. I'm not bashing you just saying that it's sad when custody arrangements work out like that. Hopefully his ex isn't going to jerk him around when it comes to seeing his daughter.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You know? I agree with you that not all situations are the same, but from what we've seen on the boards, they all are the same in the way that no one can get along and are trying to protect their best interest in seeing their children. It is always good to cover your @$$ (and parental rights and obligations). If you automatically assume the best of a divorce and custody issue, then you are caught with your pants down. I tried so long to get along with my X when my daughter was in my care. All he did was make our lives miserable. Then he statred to molest not only our daughter, but his oldest daughter as well (that's where he started). I was protecting my daughter as I should, because no one else was going to do it and I am her mother.
Now that my daughter is in the care of her father, he still pulls the same stunts and gets away with everyone of them! I can't protect my daughter when she is with him. I tried being the nice guy, and my daughter is the one who got screwed by the system that was designed to protect her!
Yes it is sad when the police know you by name as well as the judge! It is, it really is! But what else was I supposed to do? I did what they all said I should do. Call the police when there was an incident, I did. Then because I had proven that not only was there physical abuse but sexual abuse, I was ordered not to call the "authorities" so who suffered? MY DAUGHTER.
At one point satweewee states "we originally were going to court over visitation because she didnt want to give me any. But when she was subpoenaed she changed her mind and now is in a hurry to sign the agreement and start things." If his X has changed for good and will never try to interfere with his relationship with the child, then he need not worry. But nothing is constant, everything changes, why not protect that interest?
All I am saying to him is the fact that if she was trying to deny him in the past who says she won't try something in the future???? And giving suggestions as how to make it a solid custody/visitaion order so that his best interests and parental obligation are kept intact for the sake of the child.
I would have been screwed by my ex if we didn't think ahead as far as when my daughter started school.
It has taken me a long time to get thru to X that all I want is for my daughter to be safe and happy, and you know what? She isn't, never has been. She wants to come 'home' and says something EVERY weekend when I pick her up. It is a sad situation that her father can't see beyond the monthly check and realize that she isn't happy with him.
In my situation it has been hard on she and I, I'm still depressed at times. I hate seeing parents who really and honestly care for their children be manipulated by the X, and using the children as pawns in a game.
I know you are not 'bashing' me, but if some of these people don't look to the future and take an active interest in the children, the children are the ones who suffer. All these documents are like a business plan (sad to say), if you don't cover every detail someone loses. If issues are not specific, then someone loses. ultimately it is the child who loses in the end.
As i've seen MySonsMom say, everyone's situation is different so therefore, if he and the ex get along there is no reason for him to get all worked up b/c he didn't put the specific dates on the every other weekend phrase. I do understand that she could say he had his daughter last weekend when he didn't but just b/c you and your ex(Ukiah) couldn't get along doesn't mean the same will happen to him. It seems like you and your ex couldn't get along at all b/c the cops were briefed and the judge knew your names, that's pretty sad if you ask me. I'm not bashing you just saying that it's sad when custody arrangements work out like that. Hopefully his ex isn't going to jerk him around when it comes to seeing his daughter.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You know? I agree with you that not all situations are the same, but from what we've seen on the boards, they all are the same in the way that no one can get along and are trying to protect their best interest in seeing their children. It is always good to cover your @$$ (and parental rights and obligations). If you automatically assume the best of a divorce and custody issue, then you are caught with your pants down. I tried so long to get along with my X when my daughter was in my care. All he did was make our lives miserable. Then he statred to molest not only our daughter, but his oldest daughter as well (that's where he started). I was protecting my daughter as I should, because no one else was going to do it and I am her mother.
Now that my daughter is in the care of her father, he still pulls the same stunts and gets away with everyone of them! I can't protect my daughter when she is with him. I tried being the nice guy, and my daughter is the one who got screwed by the system that was designed to protect her!
Yes it is sad when the police know you by name as well as the judge! It is, it really is! But what else was I supposed to do? I did what they all said I should do. Call the police when there was an incident, I did. Then because I had proven that not only was there physical abuse but sexual abuse, I was ordered not to call the "authorities" so who suffered? MY DAUGHTER.
At one point satweewee states "we originally were going to court over visitation because she didnt want to give me any. But when she was subpoenaed she changed her mind and now is in a hurry to sign the agreement and start things." If his X has changed for good and will never try to interfere with his relationship with the child, then he need not worry. But nothing is constant, everything changes, why not protect that interest?
All I am saying to him is the fact that if she was trying to deny him in the past who says she won't try something in the future???? And giving suggestions as how to make it a solid custody/visitaion order so that his best interests and parental obligation are kept intact for the sake of the child.
I would have been screwed by my ex if we didn't think ahead as far as when my daughter started school.
It has taken me a long time to get thru to X that all I want is for my daughter to be safe and happy, and you know what? She isn't, never has been. She wants to come 'home' and says something EVERY weekend when I pick her up. It is a sad situation that her father can't see beyond the monthly check and realize that she isn't happy with him.
In my situation it has been hard on she and I, I'm still depressed at times. I hate seeing parents who really and honestly care for their children be manipulated by the X, and using the children as pawns in a game.
I know you are not 'bashing' me, but if some of these people don't look to the future and take an active interest in the children, the children are the ones who suffer. All these documents are like a business plan (sad to say), if you don't cover every detail someone loses. If issues are not specific, then someone loses. ultimately it is the child who loses in the end.
U
usdeeper
Guest
You have to realise that our poster is JamieT, she is a danger to the child and the mother is stupid to agree to such an agreement.
U
Ukiah
Guest
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by usdeeper:
You have to realise that our poster is JamieT, she is a danger to the child and the mother is stupid to agree to such an agreement. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Usdeeper, You mean I fell into that trap! UGH! Thanks for letting us know......
You have to realise that our poster is JamieT, she is a danger to the child and the mother is stupid to agree to such an agreement. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Usdeeper, You mean I fell into that trap! UGH! Thanks for letting us know......
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