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relocating to another state. can i take my son w/ me?

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gellibine

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My ex-boyfriend and I have joint custody of our 8 year old son. We currently live in California. He has our son from Sunday AM to Tuesday PM every week. My fiance is in the Navy and requires relocation to Florida, so I want to be able to take my son w/ me. I have told my son's father that I would pay for the travel expenses for the visits, but still have not made an agreement on when the visits will occur. That's if he gives me "permission" to take him. If he doesn't give me "permission," I understand that I would have to take it to court. Do you think the courts will decide in my favor?
Everytime I ask my son whether he wants to live w/ me (in Florida) or his father, he chooses me. But when his father asks my son who he wants to live with, he says he doesn't know. I tell my son that he needs to tell his dad that he wants to go w/ me, but he says he's scared to tell him and wants me to tell his dad. Does it matter what my son wants?
 


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usdeeper

Guest
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gellibine:
Everytime I ask my son whether he wants to live w/ me (in Florida) or his father, he chooses me. But when his father asks my son who he wants to live with, he says he doesn't know. I tell my son that he needs to tell his dad that he wants to go w/ me, but he says he's scared to tell him and wants me to tell his dad. Does it matter what my son wants?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I believe it is unfair to involve your child in this dispute and it is not for the child to tell his father who he wants to live with. That is a truely awful approach you have taken.


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:) SMILE - Start Making It Livable for Everyone

Divorce is a process over which children have no control. Children should not be its victims.
When parents are under stress, it is harder to be in touch with their children's pain and anguish.
It takes time, effort, and planning on the part of the parents to be able to provide for the children's needs.
In the crisis of divorce, parents may put their children on hold while they attend to adult problems first.
Sometimes separating/divorced parents find that their roles and expectations are undefined and cloudy.
If handled properly, divorce need not be devastating for children.
 
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usdeeper

Guest
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gellibine:
My ex-boyfriend and I have joint custody of our 8 year old son. We currently live in California. He has our son from Sunday AM to Tuesday PM every week. My fiance is in the Navy and requires relocation to Florida, so I want to be able to take my son w/ me. I have told my son's father that I would pay for the travel expenses for the visits, but still have not made an agreement on when the visits will occur. That's if he gives me "permission" to take him. If he doesn't give me "permission," I understand that I would have to take it to court. Do you think the courts will decide in my favor?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ok, now I have that off my chest.. here is the legal answer. Even if you take this to court, you will need to provide details of the new agreement and not agreeing to anything until he agrees is a step away from having a judge decide for you.

The fact that you are willing to pay travel costs goes in your favour. You will also have to agree to longer visitation periods. ie, the whole of spring break.. 2-4 weeks in the summer, every other christmas.

If you can agree to all that.. then it is unlikely a judge will stand in your way to move.

[This message has been edited by usdeeper (edited July 25, 2000).]
 

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