shared custody w/stepmom

I have a 12 year old son who has lived with his dad for about 10 years. His dad has gotten remarried and been with this women for 9 1/2 years. I am very close with her and we have developed a very good friendship. She has been wonderful to my son and loves/treats him as her own. I was told last nite that they plan on divorcing. What are the impications here? She indicates that they will share custody, but what does that mean? She is not his legal guardian. What needs to be done so that my son would be able to continue to live part time with his stepmom? I know that this is the best for him as she has raised him and I would not want to tear apart his life. HELP!!

Sue, I have no advice for you, but just wanted to say "GOD BLESS YOU" for putting your child above all else. I wish more parents were so open-minded when it comes to the impact of step-families.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by picke:
[b]Sue, I have no advice for you, but just wanted to say "GOD BLESS YOU" for putting your child above all else. I wish more parents were so open-minded when it comes to the impact of step-families.[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


My response:

I couldn't have said it better, Picke. This is an unusual situation, and the writer should be hearalded for her feelings toward her son. A child should have as many loving and caring family members around as possible. Since it is our writer's choice to share her son's affections with another, I would only suggest that the mother and step-mother come to a complete understanding that the mother's place in the triumvirate be instilled within the child, and when push ever comes to shove, Mom's word, along with Dad's word, are the final say-so.

Good luck.

IAAL




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I would like to say as well, Sue...that is so kind and loving of you to accept your sons stepmother in his life, and realize that she is a parent to him and there is obvious love there. Step parents all too often get the short end of the deal, it's VERY nice to see that there are biological parents that respect step parents as you do, and accept the fact that they *are* parents even though there is no biology. Thanks Sue, for brightening my day!