She testified it wasn't his child but 7 years later she says it is?!? Please help!

I know this is kind of a long story, but I *really* need help.

My fiance was married for a very short time in July '92. Before they got married, in March or April of '92, she was pregnant. It was assumed & she told him it was his. So in July they got married. He came home from work one day in October & she out of the blue wanted a divorce & was going to go back to her 1st husband. At this time she told him it was not his child she was carrying, it was her 1st husbands. They were seperated & began the divorce proceedings. He was told by his lawyer, family, counselors, and even a chaplin that if she said it was not his he should leave it alone & not pursue it. During the divorce, she testified, signed an affidavit, that the baby was in fact NOT my fiance's and that it was her 1st husbands. We have copies of all of this, where she stated & swore to it many times. His lawyer told him since she did this, told a judge & signed a sworn statement that it wasn't his, that it could never come back on him.

In Jan. '93 she had the baby, and her lawyer sent my fiance's lawyer a letter stating this, which kind of bothered my fiance- it wasn't his, so why were they telling him? It just hurt him all over again. Anyway, in July '93 the divorce was finalized. He was out of the country at the time (military) and had told his lawyer he didn't want it finalized until he was in the country & could be there for it. He was back in the country in Oct. I believe, but he didn't even find out it was finalized until Dec. '93 - 5 months after it had been. He has a paper where the 1st husband had petitioned to have his name put down as the father of the child, but was denied (even though in the court papers she had her 1st husbands last name down as the child's last name). She presumably went back to her 1st husband (in the court papers she restored her last name to her 1st husbands). So my fiance hasn't seen or talked to her in years. (He & I have only been together about 4 years.)

Last Wednesday, we get a letter from DCSE & DSS stating he had been named the father of a child, even though another man was presumed to be the father but actually isn't. He called the DSS guy & it is his first wife saying he is the father of the child born in '93. He has to take a DNA test to find out for sure. This little girl just turned 7 in Jan. of this year. They say once the test is taken it will take about 30 days to get the results back.

We're both very hurt & angry that she waited 7 years to come back and say it's his child. That's 7 years he has lost with this little girl, if it is his. Anyway, here are my questions:

1- Does it make any difference or will it, if it is his, when we go to court for custody & support that she testified numerous times that it wasn't his? Would that have any bearing on things?

2- How could his divorce lawyer tell him nothing could ever come of this since she did testify it wasn't his, even though 7 years later it is?

3- We were told (granted, by someone who has no legal experience or whatever) that if it is his it's possible he wouldn't have to pay support for 7 years because of what she did. Is there any truth to this?

4- What are the chances we would be able to get joint custody & not just visitation?

5- In this situation, do you think he would have to pay back support? And in MO, would we have to pay for the test if it is his, and if she has received any welfare, would we have to pay that also?

We're both very stressed about this. He of course wants to spend time with this child & take care of her financially, but he's very hurt that his ex has did this after 7 years after she swore it was not his. We both run a small business out of our home and struggle to pay the bills from month to month. We don't know how we're going to handle this financially.

His ex & the child live in Franklin County, MO and we live in Jasper County, MO (where the divorce was). (We're about 3 hours away from them. If we get visitation or joint custody, who would most likely pay for the traveling expenses?)

Any help anyone can provide is so greatly appreciated. We're both extremely stressed over this. Also, should we get a lawyer now or wait until the test results come back? I'm worried that if we wait, it may go to court quickly and wouldn't be as prepared as we would if we get one now, even though we really can't afford it.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you in advance!

I really feel for you. Not only is this emontional stress but financial as well. My husband and I have only been married for 1 1/2 yrs. and are going through something very similar. There are alot of issues here that will probably not get sorted out in the child advocate office and will need to go before a judge. I don't know for sure, but because of her sworn statements, I believe if the child is his you can get out of paying the back support. I do know that in most states child support does not begin until you have offically been served child support orders. So it is my understanding that from the time he finds out the child is his and only from that time, will he be obligated to pay support. Each state's child support laws vary. You can access these laws on the internet by typing in "CHILD SUPPORT LAWS FOR __________(YOUR STATE)". It will also tell you the answers to most of your questions as well as to the percentage of child support he may be ordered to pay based on his income.
I would get an attorney as soon as possible. This way he will be ready for your defense either way. The judge can also order, if the child is his, that he is responsible for the DNA test. Another reason for getting an attorney now. Because an attorney can appeal to the judge, if the child is his, that she has lied and stolen 7 years from both the child and the father. Hopefully the judge will have sympathy on your husband due to the facts.
Good luck, and my prayers are with you.

Paula2,

Thank you very much for your reply. We met with a lawyer yesterday and it was the best $25 we've ever spent. The lawyer called the DSS guy & found out my fiance's ex did remarry her first husband & redivorced him as well. It was stated, not only in her divorce from my fiance, but from her, well 1st and 3rd husband that the 1st & 3rd husband was indeed the father of this child. So twice, in court, they both stated the child was his.
She is evidentally trying to get fiancial aid from the state. When she found out that they were going to bring my fiance into this and do a paternity test, since now the 1st/3rd husband says it is not his, she got pretty histerical and is basically trying to drag her feet & is not being very cooperative with DSS. So she has been going out of her way to keep her daughter from my fiance. The lawyer said if the child is my fiance's, we can sue her in civil court for denying him visitation and his parental rights for the past 7 years. He also said it is very unlikely that we would have to pay any back support & for the test. Basically, because of everything she has done, the odds are very much in our favor. We are waiting to get a copy of her divorce decree from her divorce to her 3rd husband to see what it says. The attorney said we really don't need to have a lawyer now, but if the test says it is his child, we need to be at their door, ready to go.

At least with 30 days between him taking the test & us finding out the results we'll have some time to get the money together if it is his child for the paternity, child support, and child custody case. (Which the fee to take care of all of that is much less than I had imagined.)

I feel so much better now that we have talked with a lawyer and know what our choices are. Thank you very much for your reply & kind words. I hope things are going well for your situation.


<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by paula2:
[b]I really feel for you. Not only is this emontional stress but financial as well. My husband and I have only been married for 1 1/2 yrs. and are going through something very similar. There are alot of issues here that will probably not get sorted out in the child advocate office and will need to go before a judge. I don't know for sure, but because of her sworn statements, I believe if the child is his you can get out of paying the back support. I do know that in most states child support does not begin until you have offically been served child support orders. So it is my understanding that from the time he finds out the child is his and only from that time, will he be obligated to pay support. Each state's child support laws vary. You can access these laws on the internet by typing in "CHILD SUPPORT LAWS FOR __________(YOUR STATE)". It will also tell you the answers to most of your questions as well as to the percentage of child support he may be ordered to pay based on his income.
I would get an attorney as soon as possible. This way he will be ready for your defense either way. The judge can also order, if the child is his, that he is responsible for the DNA test. Another reason for getting an attorney now. Because an attorney can appeal to the judge, if the child is his, that she has lied and stolen 7 years from both the child and the father. Hopefully the judge will have sympathy on your husband due to the facts.
Good luck, and my prayers are with you.[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am so glad to hear your news. It's still going to be a long road. We have been batteling with our case since August. I had to do alot of digging to find out the truth. She's lied so many times. I also have court documents to prove it. She lives in Tennessee, we are in Kentucky. That makes things a little difficult. We are going to Tennessee Wednesday to see an attorney who had tried her in court before, and won. The child advocate office here has been wonderful. At first I think they thought my husband was a dead beat dad. Once I dug up all the dirt, and took the papers in to show what kind of person she is, they were amazed at the things she has gotten by with. The sad part is the child, and the life he has lead. Not to mention the mom is recieving child support from another man as well as my husband for the same child. I didn't think anyone else out there would have such a screwed up child support case, but I guess you do too. Well just remember My prayers will be with you guys. Wonderful things can come from the powers above. Sometimes we go through things in life and don't understand why. In our cases it my be God's way of helping out these children and putting them in a better enviroment. If you would like to converse without others reading our conversation, feel free to email me at surfing@zoomnet.net, it sounds like we have alot in common and possibly trade some legal stradigies in our cases.
Again good luck!!!!!

Paula2