should i get back child support from my father?

[Dann1871]

OK I AM 15 YRS OLD AND I HAVEN'T SEEN MY FATHER IN LIKE EIGHT YEARS. MY STEPFETHER (MY DAD) HAS TAKEN CARE OF ME SINCE I WAS 4. NOW MY REAL DAD IS TRYING TO GET MY GOD PARENTS AND OTHER PEOPLE TO GIVE HIM MY NUMBER BUT I WON'T LET THEM. WELL I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM EVER BUT I WANT MY MONEY FROM THE YEARS THAT HAVE PASSED BECAUSE I'M GOING TO 16 IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS AND I WANT A CAR. OUT OF ALL MY LIFE HE HAS GIVEN ME 20 DOLLARS WHEN I WAS 6 YRS OLD. THE PROBLEM IS MY MOM WILL NOT LET ME TAKE HIM TO COURT BECAUSE SHE IS LIKE I DON'T NEED HIM AND I DON'T. SEE I DON'T WANT MY PARENTS TO PAY FOR THE CAR BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM EITHER I JUST WANT MY MONEY. PLEASE HELP ME DECIDE WHAT TO DO.

 

[PapaSmurf]

D- WWWWWWWWWWaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppp Man, like your values are uncool. Your Father may want to actually see you, you don't got no idea if he ignored you for these last 8 years, or what.
By working on getting your own wheels, you'll know that the car iz yers, and you didn't have to hate, to get it.

Show them all that you're able to do it all on your own. By working (ugh) for it, no one can take it away.

Besides, the Support was to HELP pay for the things you needed, like a roof, clothes your CD player, and that all inspiring hunger pang. If yer Father didn't, your mother should collect.
Bet your Father didn't WANT to be out of your life. http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/wink.gif



[This message has been edited by PapaSmurf (edited May 23, 2000).]

 

[Dann1871]

papasmurf
he hasn't tried to be in my life for these 16 years and now, something ain't right i do not want him in my life. i do need that car i already have a roof over my head and clothes on my back my parents do that. my parents could by me a car if i told them to but he owe me that. 20 dollars out of my whole life. please. he know where my grandmother lived. that's how he gave me them $20 that i should have threw in his face.

 

[PapaSmurf]

Been through this kinda thing with my ex-wives- I have the kids, they now want to see them, okay, no problem, the first, mom of my 17 year old-is dying, from cancer.
Why do you want to have contact with him now? it's the cash, that's not fair. I don't think, when you were 6, that you'd have thrown it back in his face. why all the HATE? It really gets you no where, BUT, as I wrote, if you can look ahead, you've got the b*lls to work on it yourself, then for the next 50 years, you'll know that YOU did it, and not by taking him. Keep your eye on the car, don't hate the guy. Try seeing him in a public place, if you're uptight about seeing him at all. I don't want to sound like a cheerleader, don't have the legs for it, but, You can show your MOTHER that you value your car, by the work you do to get what you want.

 

[ziebug]

Contrary to what you believe, it is not your child support, it belongs to your mother. If she doesnt want to collect I see really no way YOU would personally get it. Im not a lawyer but I know where the support goes. Its for your care, not your car.
You really ought to rethink seeing your father, maybe hear him out just once, you may be surprised by his answer. Sometimes we as parents allow our children to see our bitterness and unfairly the children take it on too.
Think about it!

 

[PapaSmurf]

And that's why I suggested that he see the Father- not just to get the car, but just maybe he's tied up in an alienation problem,
right? Hope you see, D- your value's just a little off, (Don't buy Lottery tickets)

 

[joswalt]

Get your eyes off of your fathers money!!! The child support is not your money anyway,what you need to do is figure out if you want to have any type of relationship with your father. Don't do something for money now, you'll regret it in the future. All you can do is listen to what the man has to say, right or wrong, give him the time to explain why and then if you want to walk, walk, but give him the time. If you don't you will regret it. I know, I've been there!

 

[Ronne]

I can't help myself! I had to write. This infuriates me! My husband has a 14 yr. old daughter who won't see him. She doesn't call him "dad", she won't respond to letters or answer phone calls. She is so brainwashed it's pathetic. And I know that one day she is going to pull the same stunt as you and decide that she wants something and THEN she will want to have something to do with my husband that DOES PAY CHILD SUPPORT. Why don't you try like the others suggested and GET A JOB! Maybe your father is hoping that you are becoming mature enough to decide that you WOULD like to have a relationship with him. At least he is trying and maybe there is a story about the past that you've never been told.
I agree. That money isn't/wasn't YOURS. It was for you to clothe and feed you and help with school supplies. If your mother doesn't want to fight for it, then she must have her reasons. Quit being a lazy, spoiled little brat and EARN a buck!

 

[MySonsMom]

I agree with the responses you have been given. Child support is not the "childs money" it is to the parent that has physical custody, it to help them with the child's basic needs. (not neccesarrily wants) Your mother obviously decided years ago that she did not need nor want the financial help from your father...that was her decision,,,and I'm sure she had her reasons. If anyone should get any money for the past 16 yrs, it will be your mother..and then if that is the case SHE can decide if she wants to buy your car. Greed will get you no where in this big, not so friendly at times world. I hope you will think over your priorities..and not expect things to be handed to you. Because believe me, you will not get things handed to you in the real world. You will be there soon too. (the real world) Good luck to you.

 

[tamerad33]

I also have a step daughter 16 and until about 6 months ago she really believed that her father wanted nothing to do with her. Please find out the real truth behind his actions before you discuss what he OWES you! We found out that she thought her father hadn't ever paid support and that her mothers boyfriend had paid all of her medical bills! These were all lies!! After she was old enough, when she came for a visit(after 5 years) we had everything in(reciepts for support,medical bills, and letters that had been sent back kept in a folder) when she tried to lay the guilt trip on her Dad she was just handed the folder. He has been hurt by her and her mother for the last time. Get this.. even after he had't been treated like a second class citize by them both for 16 years.. He bought her a car without even being asked.. But her mother says that now he is just tring to buy Love.. Some people can't be happy...The car is still here sitting in the garage. And agin it has been a month since we have even heard from her... Get a Job! and a Life. Or maybe you could be a Man and talk to your Dad he might want to help you get a car.

 

[dann1871]

you people are crazy i wouldn't dare have a relationship with him. i could see if we lived in different states or something but we live 20 miles away from each other. and then ya'll try to make it sound like my mom is bad like she has lied about something or tried to keep me away from him. she has been totally honest with me. i remember times when i was a child and he would come over my grandmother's house drunk and try to pick fights with my mom and dad. and my mom hasn't brain washed me she tries to make me call him and i won't. i have my own mind and no one is going to make me change these beliefs. you people are trying to say he went 16 yrs and then one day a light bulb popped in his head and said i should try to see a girl that i helped this women conceive 16 yrs ago. please i don't buy it.

 

[dann1871]

AND I AM A GIRL

 

[PapaSmurf]

Ooooohhhhh, now I know where you get the attitude. It's a SHE.
All I was saying was do it on your own-BRAT

The next generation- Boldly going Nowhere.

[This message has been edited by PapaSmurf (edited May 24, 2000).]

 

[joswalt]

Go PapaSmurf!!!! I agree completely, its all about money isn't it. Even if your mother has not be lieing to you that is still no reason to think that he OWES you anything. Go get a job and then I suggest you go to your local church and pray for yourself, your father and your mother. I'll pray for all of you.

 

[tamerad33]

Dear Dann, I am sure that your mother never lied to you or kept anything from you.None of them ever do! Here is just a thought: Maybe your father suffered from a drinking problem it not only affects the person who is drinking but all famly members. ALA-TEEN could be a first step in your journy into this crule world. People do change maybe he is trying. And remember that usually we as adults follow the patterns of our parents. Talk to someone about your anger please before it drags you into a bad situation. Counceling might help!!

[This message has been edited by tamerad33 (edited May 24, 2000).]