hello , reading your comments helps me think about my situation in a different light. Yes I did not put my child first and Yes I did not put my new husband first... 4 years ago, when my exhusband convinced me that i would not win in court for my son to come with me when i moved, my whole thinking back then was exactly....no fighting..no battle.. no long dragged on court fees would be best for my son, and unfortuneltly i trusted my exhusband to be fare with sharing our sons life, just as i would have if my son did come to move with me. that decision to trust my ex has haunted me since, and my life is not easy , i feel always as though theres an empty space in my life that i just can not complete until my son comes to live with me, I did not just turn my son over to my ex, I was stupid and nieve back then to think all would be okay for my son, and very extremley nieve to believed my ex back then. Every since my son has showed signs of not being okay , I have tried to change things around and the courts just wont do it and my ex wont atleast give our son a chance to see if he would do better with me...my son has been having problems just after i moved away ..like fighting and not listening in school, he misses me alot and the father just wont think about our son , i feel hes only thinking about himself. my son does fine when he visits for the summers, he doesnt need that drug ritilin, i feel thats just dads way of better parenting through chemistry...if dad would just look back and remember our son when i was in ca. verses just after i moved..he would see what i see and that is that our son is just upset about my move away and hes acting out his anger at school and at home with his dad.....but dad doesnt want to hear or take anything i have to say into consideration....anyways i cant go back and change the decision i made back then...allow i wish i could, because after being to court for stupid things ....like fighting to have my son spend some time with me over holidays, ive come to feel strongly that if i had just gone to court back then 4 years ago, i most likely would have won in court and my son would not be feeling the way he does now. I would not have done nor would i do now what my ex has been doing to my sons and I relationship, I just wouldnt. well again thank you for your comments on my situation.....i hope your all doing well in your lifes struggles.....brenda ps ... i still could use some helpful ideas on how i should ask dad to help with transportation, heres some of the ideas i could come up with...50/50 shared transportation which dad already wont agree to thats why i set a mediation apt this coming dec.12, or ive asked him if he could help pay atleast a third of the cost of our sons airline ticket, which he agreed to but stated only when he could afford it, which is not a concrete enough answer , i feel we need to know for sure so that we can plan, or another idea i had was for the months that my son would be flying down to visit which is only 4 to 5 times a year ,is not pay child support for just those months to help us to afford the full cost of a roundtrip ticket. These are all that i could think of , if you have any advise as to these ideas please tell me, i know the future can not be predicted but atleast i have your thoughts to consider when i ask for one of these from my ex. your ideas and comments mean alot to me , for only the rich can afford to pay for an attorneys fees! thank you ......brenda