sit back and wait or move ahead ?

[hurtscaredmom]

My question(s) are rather loaded. My husband had a one night stand back in May. The woman contacted him over a month ago that she was possibly pregnant with his child. She is not sure because she has a long term significant other she is living with. We are trying to heal from his infidelity but I can't until I know what is going on with her. Do we just let it go ? She said she may not ever find out who is the father, they had been trying to have one, but there were fertility problems. Sounds to me like she was out to get someone to get her pregnant, but that is beside the point now. Now we haven't heard from her in five weeks when I told her she needed to find out ASAP, the paternity. She seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. Is there anything we can do? I am not comfortable with letting it go and then having it blow up in our faces months/years from now. What are the child support laws in Minnesota ? Can support be filed for many years from now and he be forced to pay back to birth ? Would my income be affected and our own children ? Lots of questions I know but I can not let this go, I am hurting so bad and need to know what I have to deal with and if I want to deal with it.

 

[LegalBeagle]

If you do not know where she is then there is nothing you can do...

If you know where and how to contact her, then once the child is born, you get a court to order a test to see he is the father. You are right to worry, you may not hear from her for 10 years and then suddenly have to pay back support and any gov money she got.

 

[hurtscaredmom]

So in Minnesota there is know statute of limitations, he would have to pay for support back to birth ?

We do know where she is and how to get in touch with her. She claims that she is fully prepared to raise this child on her own, but her Significant other seems to want to raise the child too, he doesnt care about paternity. But I do not know what to believe and I can not trust. If this is so can we legally get something in writing so she can't come back at us in 10 years. This of course is all based on the fact that my H is the father. She says she might not find out who the father is, but you already answered that question that we can get a court order to have her find that out.

What about my income, would I be affected? There is know way I will have anything to do with this, especially monetarily. I need to figure out what I am going to do.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Do not make the mistake of beliving that any signed form will somehow allow you to get away with CS.

There is only one way to deal with this so as to protect yourself in years to come. Get an court to order a test, at that point, her b/f (or hubby) may want to adopt and you will then be free and clear..

To scare you a little here is a picture for you.. she tells you that you owe her nothing and just go away. She moves away and you do not hear from her again. Ten years later you have State Agency knocking on your door stating that she has claimed support from the state for the last 10 years and since you did not pay anything in support of the child, you now own the state $27,432.83 Oh, and have a nice day...

Get it sorted the moment the child is born.. It is far better to pay 200-400 a month now and have a relationship with the child that owe thousands of dollars later and have had no relationship with the child and finding it hard to start one...

 

[hurtscaredmom]

Now we have found out from a lawyer if paternity is not established and my H does not know he is the father she can not come back in 10 years and want child support for the last 10 years if my H did not know it. I am really starting to get confused. I want to get everything settled but now I don't know if we should.

We also found out that if her BF signs the birth certificate that there would probably not be much reason to pursue things either. I feel like I am getting mixed messages here and I know that people who advise here are not necessarily of the legal profession but a lot have experience and I find that almost more beneficial. Anyone who can give me some advise or support would be much appreciated.

Is there anywhere on the internet I can find info on Minnesota law or statute about Child support/paternity, etc.?

 

[LegalBeagle]

I did not say she could get 10 years back CS. What I said is.. if the state supports the child over a 10 year period and then paternity is established, the STATE will come after him. If there is no handouts then she can still get CS later on in the childs life but it will not be back dated 10 years.

That is why it is important to get it sorted now as in 10 years time you could end up with a massive bill from the state.


------------------
Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. Which technically could mean I am an attorney, but I would not tell you either way. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

 

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hurtscaredmom:
We also found out that if her BF signs the birth certificate that there would probably not be much reason to pursue things either<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is true to some extent. If the b/f signs the b/c and also acknowledges his paternity of the child in a writing signed by himself and the mother and file it with the state registrar of vital statistics then her b/f is presumed to be the father. After a period of time if they split then he will not be able to get out of that responsibility.

Here is some bedtime reading since you asked.
http://www.revisor.leg.state.mn.us/stats/257/


Read

257.34 Declaration of parentage.

257.55 Presumption of paternity.

257.57 Determination of father and child relationship; who may bring action; when action may be brought.

257.75 Recognition of parentage.


[This message has been edited by LegalBeagle (edited August 30, 2000).]