Step Parent Rights

I'm not sure if you're married or with someone, but as a single mom with my ex getting married soon, I am trying hard to give my daughter's soon to be stepmother some respect. By observing her with her kids and my daughter, I see that she is loving. As for getting advice from the step mom, calmly let her know you have the upper hand in decision making (its your child). But if this person is honestly a good person (does not put your child in any danger) then it should be alright if she spends time with your child. At first, I was upset with the whole situation, but honestly, if I had a boyfriend/husband, I wouldn't want my ex to give me a hard time. You also have to realize that if you were to die, most likely your child would live with them. Its better to get to know the person better and be amicable for your child's sake and for your own sanity.

The sad thing in my situation is that the father is CP, has barely anything to do with my daughter, and lets the SM make the decisions and rules in their home. When I want to talk about something that is going on with my daughter, they shrug it off like I have no say, but when the tables are turned, it's as though there has been a tragedy.

I fight every day with everyone (including schools, doctors, you name it) Just to make it understood that I AM HER MOTHER. I hate the term Bio Mom, because it sounds as though I had her and gave her up--NOT so, I am her mother, Mom and the one who gave birth to her. And NO ONE is going to take that from me- NO ONE!

I have tried to get along with the X and SM, but they "WON" their game, and my daughter is the one who lost (which they don't care to see). I have no respect for a person who tries to take away the one person I love more than myself, and they are more worried about the money they get from me.

I have repeatedly said that my worthless X and I will never get back together (EVER), but I think he has something to do with the fact that she (and he) "have" to continue to fight with me over minor things like clothes, and what the court papers do or don't say (I'm always proving them wrong-and they hate it).

I don't think Step-parents should have as many rights as they do. I have seen SM with my daughter, as long as I am visible, she is nice. When I'm talking to my child on the phone, she has a total different tone and is more commanding. I've heard from friends that she has mistreated my child (in public), and no one stands up for my daughter If I were there, I would, my child or not! No one deserves to be mistreated. She is as much a good liar as he is. An people just don't want to get involved in court matters- friends or not.

In the end it IS the children who suffer!

U



[This message has been edited by Ukiah (edited October 26, 2000).]