step-parents

[Nese]

Is it legal for a step-parent to list themselves as a child's "Parent" on medical and school forms? The non-custodial parent, in this situation, has not had any "parental-rights" taken away, actively participates in the child's life, pays childsupport and stays in contact, via visitations and phone conversations, with the child on a regular basis.

 

[whitsmom]

I don't know the specific legality of this, but I do have a similar situation from the other end...I am the step mom.

My husband has a 13 y/o son, I have 14 and 9 y/o girls. They all live with us. It isn't always possible for my husband to drive his son to appointments and when the 3 of them bring home school forms and report cards, I usually sign them all. The doctor's office and school knows I am the "custodial step mom" I guess you'd call it, and usually don't give me a hard time about signing forms for him or consenting to treatment (like when he fell out of a tree and needed 12 stitches while my husband was at work and his mom's phone was off).

So, for convenience sake I sign things, but we always make sure to let mom know what is going on and that she has copies of report cards etc. Our situation is a little diffrent than yours since this mom doesn't see the child regularly or pay support...my husband has sole custody. However, she is still his mother and deserves to know what is going on.

Maybe the step parent in your situation is doing this for convenience sake because the child lives with him/her and isn't trying to undermine you as a parent. You pose an interesting question and I would love to see the legal answer. Good luck.

 

[MySonsMom]

As step parents have no "legal" rights to the children, they do have obligations as a parent. A step parent can seek medical care for step children, and sign things that "parents" normally sign. This happens mostly when the step children live with the step parent; but can happen at any time. (visiting etc) Since being a step parent means being a parent, they have the obligation to the step kids, but not the "rights". So in other words, step parents do all the work and act as a parent, but if something should happen they have no legal standing. So yes, most places will allow step parents to sign documents, and seek medical help. If they have a problem doing so (which usually they don't) all they have to do is get written permission from one of the bio parents to allow them that "luxury".

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

 

[navywife_tx]

When you say school forms are you talking about signing a report card or signing papers or putting the name on the line for mother's name when it comes to a form for information about the child's parents? I know my daughter is in 1st grade and she has to have papers filled out at the beginning of the year for emergencies and such. In that case, no the step parent should not be written down but the birth mother. In the event that the mother is still involved. That is just my opinion as i would never list my current husband down as father when my ex is still very much around.

 

[MySonsMom]

With my step sons school records, it has 2 addresses etc..for different situations. It asks who the child lives with, and it has blanks for step moms and step dads. So when it asks for residence of the child, it has the option of putting the Father and StepMother. As far as other things that I had signed for, if there was a place for PARENT my name was there; now if it said Mother...I would hand write (step) in front of it and sign my name. Just to avoid confusion.

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

 

[paulsgirl]

I ADORE my stepchildren, and we enjoy a civil relationship with my husband's ex.

We are a dual military couple and are stationed about a 6 hour drive from the children. If something were to happen and my husband was not able to be contacted, my info is on the contact forms so I can pop down in the event of an emergency. This seems to work for all of us, and the kids see some cooperation in their interet.

Having said this, I would NEVER presume to be listed as mother...and sure, I don't have the "rights", but I enjoy the fruits of the relationship that we enjoy with one another.

 

[MySonsMom]

And you know, everyones situation is different. It differs if the children live with the step parents, it differs if the step parent has been more of a parent than the bio parent..All situations are different and all should be dealt with according to their situation.

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*There is no love, like the unconditional love of a Mother*

-I am not an Attorney, any advice given is strictly advice-

 

[Nese]

Thank you all for your replies to my question. In my situation, my home burned last year and immediately afterwards, while I was "homeless" and had no money for an attorney, my ex-husband sued me for custody of my two children. We had been divorced since I was 3 months pregnant with my 2nd child and he hadn't bothered to be an active part of their lives while they were babies. Due to my homeless status and the fact that I wasnt financially able to get an attorney until 2 days before court, the ex won.
It has been a long year of pure hell because the step mother hates me so badly that she has tried every means of eliminating me from the children's lives completely.
The form that I was referring to is medical forms...the admission forms to sdd a physician. She has listed herself as the "Mother" and my name is not listed anywhere on the form...the physicians office only recently became aware of my existance when I contacted them to get a copy of the records so that I could know what treatments my son is receiving. As well, she has agreed to some treatments that I WOULD NEVER agree to, such as Ritalin.
Thanks Again for you input.

 

[Ukiah]

Look up "Parental Rights" for your state and copy it down word for word. Give the school, Dr. or who ever a copy of the letter stating that you, as your child's Mom/Dad reserve your parental rights under section whatever of whatever code. And want to be notified in any emergency, etc. Keep a copy for your records and give them copies.

 

[navywife_tx]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MySonsMom:
And you know, everyones situation is different. It differs if the children live with the step parents, it differs if the step parent has been more of a parent than the bio parent..All situations are different and all should be dealt with according to their situation.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You are right and i agree with you up to a point. Now, if the bio parent is NOWHERE around and not involved at all in the child's life, then yes i could see the step parent being put down as parent as long as it is known that this is not the child's bio parent(for medical reasons). However, if the child lives with parent A primarily and parent B gets every other weekend visits, then NO, the step parent should NOT be written down when it asks for parent or guardian's name.That is my opinion and if it makes sense, great if not then i didn't word it properly. MSM is absolutely correct on the fact that every situation should be dealt with according to the situation.