Still waiting

[MrsMellyB]

I still am waiting for a respose to my earlier question. Nutshell: Where should modification of custody papers (or whatever needs doing) befiled when the original decree was in Orange Co Ca., the mother lives in Salt Lake, and we (father and I, the other Mother) live in Kansas with the boys now. She left them with us this summer and we want custody. They want (two boys 11 and 8) to stay here with dad and I, and they need the stability of our home.

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Melly B

 

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrsMellyB:

I still am waiting for a respose to my earlier question. Nutshell: Where should modification of custody papers (or whatever needs doing) befiled when the original decree was in Orange Co Ca., the mother lives in Salt Lake, and we (father and I, the other Mother) live in Kansas with the boys now. She left them with us this summer and we want custody. They want (two boys 11 and 8) to stay here with dad and I, and they need the stability of our home.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Explain 'She left them'

When ?

 

[MrsMellyB]

Most of this is answered in my post of Oct 14, but, to make a long story short, Left means: On the Thursday before we were to take the boys to the airport Tuesday for the flight back to the mother at Salt Lake, she called to ask "can the boys stay with you for a year or two and live?" She apparantly had lost her job, and was now wanting us to take care of the boys for the two years that it would take her to go and get a degree. Meanwhile she can go and get another job, "get her head together" (her words) and move herself in with her boyfriend "to save money". At the end of two years, she wanted the boys to "at least have the option of choosing to come back to Salt Lake and live with her". Her story has changed a couple of times since then, latest is "when Ron and I get married and have some money in April, we are going to look for a bigger house so that I have room for MY boys when I get them home".
Bear in mind that she first spoke to the boys and asked them if they would like to live with dad, and both without hesitation, said "I want to live with Dad". Both have improved markedly in school and socially since coming to live with us. The younger of the two (2nd grade) was earlier qualified for Title 1 reading and Math assistance (means he was at least two grade levels behind in those skills). I believe that they NEED to stay here not only because of her attitude of "I can have them when it is convienient for ME" but also the fact that they are doing so much better here and like it so much better here than with thier mother. Should their stability and happiness rest on her whim, or is there some recourse for us to solidify our position?
In addition, there has been no mention of money, but the original order for Kevin to pay her $500 a month (based on her 100% custody of the boys {allegedly} back in 1992 when she first left Kevin) has never been officially modified. They have a verbal agreement for Kevin to pay $400 per month that has stood for several years, but I am concerned that even though we now have physical custody, she may come back and say with help from a court) "where's my money?"
We have not asked for support or anything else yet because we know what the answer would be. This is not a woman one can deal logically or civilly with very often.
Advice, assistance, please.

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Melly B

 

[LegalBeagle]

Two things.. first the good news.. Once the children have been in your home for 6 months you will be able to petition a court for custody.

The bad news.. if she has a court order for 500 and you are only paying 400.. and have currently stopped paying, then she can petition the court for non payment of CS. Furthermore, some courts will not award custody when there is outstanding CS. The moment you petition for custody, she will use this..

Depending on your defination of 'several' years, you could currently owe her a few thousand dollars.. and you will need a couple of thousand for the custody case because it is a sure bet she will fight if she thinks she is going to lose them permenately.


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Psst... I do not work for Macdonald’s or Burger King, and even if I did, I would not tell you. For sloppy bread, tired tomatoes, frozen onions, watered down mayonnaise and imitation meat, please find a drive through window with a person who openly admits they make that stuff.

My advice above is equal to the advice they would give if you asked that person a legal question.

 

[MrsMellyB]

Not really sure where the whole aside about BK and Mickey D's came from, but your point about the "worth" of your advice is mostly taken. I thank you whether you're a cite-able source or not.
You are of course correct about the CS situation, but I suppose I may hope that she has not been clever enough to keep any sort of records.
Would it (in your estimation) be more profitable to get her to sign an agreement about CS and then later see about permanant custody?
Thanks for your help Beagle, I feel you must be at least in training for a profession in Law.

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Melly B