tax returns and w-2's

My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship ( they were never married). With the 6 yo, he signed voluntary paternity and a support order was established for child and medical support through the courts anyway even though they lived together. When the 4 yo was born there was question on paternity(she was sleeping with his best friend while he worked 3 jobs so she could stay home and take care of the 1st child), and of course the relationship ended but paternity was still proven to be my hubby. On the new order they obviously raised child support because in Wisconsin they base on percentages for number of children and 2 kids is 25% of gross income to be garnished from paychecks. They also stated the medical stuff again...but this time they added that my hubby has to "provide copies of tax returns and supoprting documentation including copies of w-2's no later than april 16 of each year following judgement" to the mother. (this was all signed and dated in April of 1997). Well I only came into the picture at the end of 1998 and was unaware of this, and my husband I dont think was aware of it either because he never sent them to her and she never asked for them at all. These tax returns only became an issue when we asked for a tax exemption on one of the kids (thought she could be fair - guess not) Her response was a nasty letter from her lawyer stating that if we push this issue they will take us to court for contempt for failure to provide that documentation and for failure to provide health insurance (but my husband doens't get family coverage at his work and has a letter stating so, so we aren't worried about that and that is a claus in the order-insurance only if available and affordable and I just recently put them on my insurance in hopes that she would give my husband the tax deduction - now that she won't I can take them off but haven't). We immediately (july) sent the 1999 tax stuff to the child support agency so that there is a party involved knowing we gave them that stuff. BTW my husband is not in arrears at all...and always paid child support...even out of his unemployment checks.

My first concern it what can be done by her now that we turned the returns in but late? Second how can we get that dropped out of the paternity papers or at least modified. Now that we are married and if we file jointly - though I would NEVER send my w-2's along- even a monkey like her would be wise enough to subtract his w-2's from the gross income and figure out mine which is none of her business. Nothing on our w-2 would include any information that is any of her business other then his gross wages and what he paid in tax. We are smart enough to keep all bank accounts in my name (interest on savings accounts is considered part of gross income), both cars are in my name, when we buy a house next year that will be in my name, so the mortage credits will be for me (well ours but you know what I mean), only I have a retirement account, his company is too small to offer one. So on the outside my husband truely has NOTHING as far as assets - just his income. (We are not trying to hide anything...my husbands credit is shot from the ex (he gave her the paychecks and she didn't pay the bills and he wasn't around to notice but they were all in his name - and believe me I do have my moments I want to throttle him for this as we struggle to pay them back)...and he was living paycheck to paycheck trying to survive on $700/mo after taxes and child support and that included a car payment so he could get to work and keep that job, rent, utilities. He owes $2000 to just the local utility places and literally lived for 4 months without any gas for heat or hot water and no electricity- but he kept working - we won't even go into what he owes total to other creditors but he can not purchase anything on credit...so I have to get it all.)

Sorry this so long...just started pouring out. Can we get this modified so we only have to give her his w-2's? And can we do this without a lawyer? I have thought about the married filing separately, but then we lose out on credits that are rightfully ours like the student loan interest deduction (for my college) , and when we have kids we lose the child care deduction, and not to mention we get stuck paying more tax separately. Would a judge look at having to handing her that tax return with my information as an invasion to my privacy?

thank you for spending the time reading all this....