Terrified to file in colorado

I'm afraid my husband isn't very grown up. he quit his job leaving me with virtually nothing but my part-time job of $300/month. He's looking for a new job but in the meantime rather than help me with our new baby he plays computer games and goes to friends houses (after he ran off all mine). My legal question is more or less can I be guaranteed custody of our 5 month old if we divorce now. she is breast fed and prefers me over him already. His father was younger than him when he was born, and turned out to be an abuser, I'm scared of this happening with him. I entered this marriage under common law (not very hard in colorado) only because his family is very catholic and pressured me into it. I'm not interested in alimony or child support, however I don't feel joint custody or visitation should be allowed. Especially since he is wanting to move to Oregon, and I obviously don't. The only things I need from him are a few kitchen items and the stuff my parents lent me. I cannot afford a lawyer, and neither can he. How likely am I to get the things I want, where do I start, and how do I break the news to him and my parents??

What do you mean that you entered into this marriage commom law? In Colorado (I've lived there all my life), you have to be living together for 7 years and present yourself as married to be considered common law. Have you been together that long? It doesn't make sense that his family would pressure you into common law - living together without being married? Are you sure you are considered common law married? Even if you are, there is no way a judge would give custody of a 5 month old breastfeeding baby to the father. If he moves to Oregon and you stay in Colorado, that is his choice and he'll have to make arrangements to see the baby when he can. Maybe you should make an appt. at Legal Aid - surely they can help you. But I still am sure you would not have to go through any divorce preceedings. Good Luck.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bojo:
[b]What do you mean that you entered into this marriage commom law? In Colorado (I've lived there all my life), you have to be living together for 7 years and present yourself as married to be considered common law. Have you been together that long? It doesn't make sense that his family would pressure you into common law - living together without being married? Are you sure you are considered common law married? Even if you are, there is no way a judge would give custody of a 5 month old breastfeeding baby to the father. If he moves to Oregon and you stay in Colorado, that is his choice and he'll have to make arrangements to see the baby when he can. Maybe you should make an appt. at Legal Aid - surely they can help you. But I still am sure you would not have to go through any divorce preceedings. Good Luck.[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Dear Bojo:

You may have been a resident of Colorado "all of your life," but you're wrong about the Common Law Marriage law in Colorado. All you need to do is live together for one day and, for example, tell your neighbor that you're married, and voila, you have now satisfied the Colorado Common Law Marriage law - - Colorado
A common-law marriage may be established by proving cohabitation and a reputation of being married. That's it.

For years, men and women have lived together without the benefit of a wedding ceremony. With "cohabitation" becoming more prevalent, related legal battlefields have grown as well. The California case of Marvin v. Marvin "palimony" lawsuit and its progeny come to mind, as one example.

In Colorado, a man and woman living together can have a variety of legal consequences. One area with continuing legal development is the common law marriage. Whether or not people are married at common law raises questions in both continuing and terminating relationship scenarios. In a continuing relationship, for example, will one's live-in roommate be considered a spouse for health insurance purposes or for a Social Security award? In a relationship gone sour, who gets the small business that has grown or should one party pay maintenance to the other? Colorado's Uniform Dissolution of Marriage Act applies to the issues of custody, support, and property division for a failed common law marriage.

Common law marriage has been legally recognized in Colorado for many years. Klipfel's Estate v. Klipfel, 4l Colo. 40, 92 P. 26 (1907), Taylor v. Taylor, 10 Colo.App. 303, 50 P. 1049 (1897). In Taylor, Colorado's Court of Appeals held, "...in this state a marriage simply by agreement of the parties, followed by cohabitation as husband and wife, and such other attendant circumstances as are necessary to constitute what is termed a common-law marriage,' may be valid and binding."

In People v. Lucero, 747 P.2d 660 (Colo. 1987), this state's Supreme Court emphasized that while mutual consent of marital status is an essential element of finding a common law marriage, an equally, if not more, critical element is, "...conduct in a form of mutual public acknowledgment of the marital relationship..." The Court further clarified this point when it stated, "The two factors that most clearly show an intention to be married are cohabitation and a general understanding or reputation among persons in the community in which the couple lives that the parties hold themselves out as husband and wife. Specific behavior that may be considered includes maintenance of joint banking and credit accounts; purchase and joint ownership of property; the use of the man's surname by the woman; the use of the man's surname by children born to the parties; and the filing of joint tax returns." The Court was quick to add, however, "...there is no single form that any such evidence must take. Rather, any form of evidence that openly manifests the intention of the parties that their relationships is that of husband and wife will provide requisite proof from which the existence of their mutual understanding can be inferred." In other words, there is no formula for defining a common law marriage. Every case will be judged on its particular facts.

IAAL



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Sorry for the wrong info - things certainly have changed since I took law classes at college. So does that mean anyone who is common law married (even for a day)must go through a divorce?

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bojo:
[b]Sorry for the wrong info - things certainly have changed since I took law classes at college. So does that mean anyone who is common law married (even for a day)must go through a divorce?[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My response:

Well, apparently so. As long as you "hold yourselves out" as man and wife in Colorado, even for a day, a divorce in court is necessary. I know, it's the stupidest law this side of the Mississippi. It is such sloppy laws as this that causes massive confusion and lawsuits. If Colorado insists on keeping such an archaic law on the books, you would think that they would take a hint from the Texas version. Much, much, better. Texas, at least, requires registration with the county clerk's office before you can be consider married under Common Law.

IAAL



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By reading the “Response” to your question or comment, you agree that: The opinions expressed herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE" are designed to provide educational information only and are not intended to, nor do they, offer legal advice. Opinions expressed to you in this site are not intended to, nor does it, create an attorney-client relationship, nor does it constitute legal advice to any person reviewing such information. No electronic communication with "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE," on its own, will generate an attorney-client relationship, nor will it be considered an attorney-client privileged communication. You further agree that you will obtain your own attorney's advice and counsel for your questions responded to herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE."

thank you to both of you for your advice, although it didn't tell me much about my problem. Yes, common law is simply changing your tax forms or signing a paper at the DMV (like we did) that says we are married for tax purposes, it takes 24 hours to process the information so as long as you fill out a change of address form (so they coincide) at the same time they date the form for that day. I was told you still have to file for divorce, but most of the time you don't ever have to see a judge, just petition for all you want and all spouse wants and the judge sends a letter to you about what you were awarded and a court date if you wish to argue the results.

My only other question is will I really get the baby, since she is 5 months and breastfeeding, and can I get her without visitations rights from him and his family? It's my mother in law I really don't want seeing her, and my sister in law who tells her (even now) that I'm a terrible mother. Hence why I don't want any of them to see her. The most important part is, can I do this without a lawyer.....or even consulting a lawyer in person!!!

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jenbug1039:
[b]thank you to both of you for your advice, although it didn't tell me much about my problem. Yes, common law is simply changing your tax forms or signing a paper at the DMV (like we did) that says we are married for tax purposes, it takes 24 hours to process the information so as long as you fill out a change of address form (so they coincide) at the same time they date the form for that day. I was told you still have to file for divorce, but most of the time you don't ever have to see a judge, just petition for all you want and all spouse wants and the judge sends a letter to you about what you were awarded and a court date if you wish to argue the results.

My only other question is will I really get the baby, since she is 5 months and breastfeeding, and can I get her without visitations rights from him and his family? It's my mother in law I really don't want seeing her, and my sister in law who tells her (even now) that I'm a terrible mother. Hence why I don't want any of them to see her. The most important part is, can I do this without a lawyer.....or even consulting a lawyer in person!!![/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My response:

When a child is involved, and visitation and / or child support is an issue, then yes, you need to have an attorney at your side to assist you. These issues are too complicated to handle on your own. Also, as a parent, you can decide who sees and doesn't see your child. You'll get to keep the child - - 99.9% out of 100% the mother always gets custody of an infant. But, you're really going to need an attorney to fight for restricted visitation from his family. He will fight back real hard to NOT have any restrictions, and you can't do this on your own.

Good luck.

IAAL



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By reading the “Response” to your question or comment, you agree that: The opinions expressed herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE" are designed to provide educational information only and are not intended to, nor do they, offer legal advice. Opinions expressed to you in this site are not intended to, nor does it, create an attorney-client relationship, nor does it constitute legal advice to any person reviewing such information. No electronic communication with "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE," on its own, will generate an attorney-client relationship, nor will it be considered an attorney-client privileged communication. You further agree that you will obtain your own attorney's advice and counsel for your questions responded to herein by "I AM ALWAYS LIABLE."