Unanswered Questions

I need some simple clearly stated answers without the legal jargon on child visitation and how to explain all this to a 13 year old from California.

My husband and his ex wife are heading to court to hammer out a more reasonable schedule for visitation. His daugther is asking for a 50/50 split at both houses. While the mother agrees to this between us, she wants to keep this out of court.

We want to go back before a judge to make it legal. But the child is afraid that this would make it "permanent" and then it can not be change to another schedule if she wants to at a later date.

Can you explain the term court order, modifying a visitation order and a little background on child custody.

Unfortuntally, both the child and I are stuck in the middle of this and this is the only way I can think of trying to explain this matter to her.

Any help is appreciated.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by castepmom [/i]
[B]I need some simple clearly stated answers without the legal jargon on child visitation and how to explain all this to a 13 year old from California.

My husband and his ex wife are heading to court to hammer out a more reasonable schedule for visitation. His daugther is asking for a 50/50 split at both houses. While the mother agrees to this between us, she wants to keep this out of court.

We want to go back before a judge to make it legal. But the child is afraid that this would make it "permanent" and then it can not be change to another schedule if she wants to at a later date.

Can you explain the term court order, modifying a visitation order and a little background on child custody.

Unfortuntally, both the child and I are stuck in the middle of this and this is the only way I can think of trying to explain this matter to her.

Any help is appreciated. [/B][/QUOTE]

My response:

Very good questions.

First, and foremost, the child has nothing to fear, but fear itself (Didn't Roosevelt say that?).

California courts are very sensitive when it comes to children, and listening to what they have to say. The child will NOT be required to testify in open court; rather, the judge will kindly ask to speak to her in a very "child friendly" room and atmosphere.

Based upon the child's perceived level of intelligence, and age, the judge will make his/her decision whether or not to consider what the child has to say (there are other considerations also).

A "court order" is an oral or written decision by the judge. That's why everyone's in court - - to obtain a decision. In most cases, a decision or order is set in granite, and that's the way it stays. But, that's NEVER how it is in custody or child support orders. Those are the only types of orders that are constantly subject to review and change. Which brings me to my next point.

Modification of a support and/or custody order means just that. Such orders, based upon new circumstances, are always subject to adjustment and change. People's circumstances change all the time. Children grow up, and as they grow, their needs, desires and feelings change right along with them. This is a natural course. It's okay, and judges are aware of this fact.

Custody, of course, is the legal term for where and with whom a minor person lives during their childhood. A custody order can change. Nothing, in this regard, is permanent. But, let's face facts and reality - - getting a court order, or getting one changed, is not cheap. Lawyers and courts cost money. So, assuming the best interests of the child, and whether or not there's a "substantial change" in someone's circumstances, you can't keep going back and forth to court each week - - from both a money standpoint, but also from a legal standpoint, too.

Remember, in order to change custody, there must be a significant change going on that requires a court to change a previous order. All because someone asks for a change, doesn't mean that the court will make that change.

That's why talking to the minor, and listening carefully to the child, is only one factor in making a new court order to change a previous custody order.

Good luck to all of you.

IAAL