One important addition to what I can see has been given to you....in addition to seeking financial support for your child you also need to establish legal custody of the child.
Once you have proven paternity - whether throught DNA or if he were to sign the affidavit of paternity - he will be recognized by the courts as a biological parent of this baby and that would entitle him to the same legal parental rights as you ...meaning that there is a chance that he too could seek custody of the child. Considering the age of the child now and the fact that you are currently the parent who is caring for the child he would be hard pressed to convince a court to grant any petition to that effect BUT it is more important that you protect yourself and this child regardless of the likelyhood of this happening. Please, I speak from personal experience having been in your shoes four years ago.....I overheard my child's father talking about his intention to take our daughter (then four months old) to his homestate - he had already talked to a lawyer and as a proven bio-parent with no current custody order in effect would have been able to do this -- furthermore, once he had her in his state he would have been able to file THERE for custody of our daughter and I would have been the one who would have had to fight to get her back. He would have been in hotwater for taking her but the point is it could have happened. Until there is a legally recognized custody order with a family court both parents have the right to custody of the child....you need to contact your local legal aid office immediately and ask for the papers for filing a petition for custody -- not only can they provide the papers, they will also assist you in completing and filing them (this is a free service provided in most areas and will avoid you having to pay a lawyer's fees .... your only cost will be filing fees with the court --in my case $275.00..a lot to a single mom but well worth it in the end.) If you think he may fight the petition you will want to seek a family law lawyer to assist you but if you think he will likely not fight it would be cheaper to do it yourself w/legal aid. In your petition you will also have the opportunity to complete a section for the visitation rights of the father - you can complete this with what you think is reasonable and the judge will either approve your idea or amend it to fit what he finds appropriate but I suggest at least attempting to have your wishes considered as if you don't put anything at all he may get more than you were willing to give. Please, be reasonable and remember to keep you emotions out of this and allow as much visitation as is possible as he is the baby's father and your baby will know that and want to know him. I know from having been there that likely you want him to have nothing to do with the baby but as a mother you have to put your personal feelings aside and allow your child the opportunity to know their father -- speaking to you four years down the road it has all worked out for the best and my daughter couldn't be happier! She has a wonderful step-father who is her "daddy" and she knows her bio-dad as well...they have a good relationship and it has been worth my own hurt feelings to have her be happy!
Please, don't ignore this.....it may seem I am overreacting by urging you to do this but think of it as an once of prevention and we all know that is worth a pound of cure! Even if nothing ever ends up happening at least you have done what is necessary to protect your child "just in case".
As to your child support - contact your local Welfare agency or Support Enforcement in your community and they will put you on the path to petitioning for and collecting your support -- and on this as with the custody issue the sooner the better!
Good luck and God Bless and yes, it really does work out in the end...I know... | 
10-21-2000, 07:58 PM
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