Update custody/visitation court on Monday

Well ya'all it has been a hectic couple of days. Got to court with daughter and ex's trumped up some feeble excuse why he wouldn't take his supervised visitation. He told me he wasn't going to pay to see his children. There was a free one and he refused that too. The judge got really angry and said he didn't care to hear any arguing about his not wanting to spend any money, by God, there was going to be some visitation. His lawyer thought he had unsupervised in the bag and ours tried to convince the judge that we offered to allow him supervised by us, but were refused. This was obvious to the judge and myself that it wasn't about visitation, it was about ex's control and obsession with daughter. Judge ordered a couple of hours of visitation (I supervised) and all went pretty well until daughter's ex wanted to talk to daughter to "work things out". She came in the building and he took her in a room and proceeded to threaten her with taking the children out of the country and that he would beat her %%% as soon as he could lay his hands on her. The entire decision of supervised/unsupervised lays in the hands of the ad lietem. The judge didn't rule and left the decision up to the children's attorney and rescheduled another hearing for two weeks. We are hesitant to tell anyone of his threats because they already know the problems between the two and it makes it look like we are winey and that we are trying to start something. What do you all think we should do? Her ex is a desperate man and really feels he will get custody and unsupervised visitation. He told her that he was going to sneak up here and take the kids. I can't see that they would give him unsupervised visitation but stranger things have happened. Should I let someone know about the threats or should we wait and see if he follows through? The judge is so tired of the two lawyers fighting that he made both of them shut up. He said he didn't want to hear any of it. This makes me think I had better just wait and see but opinions would be interesting.

As per my other post....I'm very big on getting what these ex's have to say on tape. The always want to tell you things, then convently forget or claim you've made these things up. Know your laws in the state where you live on recording conversations, either by phone or in person. They have the nicest little voice activated tape recorders now. Very easy to hide. Radio Shack has alot of stuff on recording conversation by phone or in person. I think if she could get him saying these things, permited it is done in accordance with her state laws, that he wouldn't have a choice but to back down.

Personally, I'd tell my lawyer, if I were her, about the threats. At least it would be documented if something did happen. Hopefully he is just blowing smoke, for the kids sake. I wish you guys alot of luck!

God Bless.

Is there any chance of being able to talk to the G.A.L. in a private meeting, without the fear of being accused of slanting the decision? And, what about the criminal aspect of this? Isn't he a native of Chile?
Your fears are of course, very real, and if there's a way to suggest to the ex- for him to push the judge to "recuse" (sp?) himself, it may further turn the tide a little more in your favor. As I see it, according to the posts of yours, Daughter is Reserve Air Force, and it may be his argument that "Military is Military", but.... it's not, as you know. Both Reserve, and Active Duty, have a support system to deal with these issues, although they cannot represent her in court, the advice is a good place to start.
I hope there isn't records somewhere, as to the trouble she faces now. She's just begun her future, and certainly doesn't need the extra hassle. But, you're experiences can be noted by G.A.L. and may help.
Best of Luck, and hopefully he'll mess himself up.
CMG

Did have meeting with A.L. yesterday before this happened and daughter feels it would be redundant. Her lawyer asked to be released from the case. Now no lawyer, and it is just down to worry. Thanks for all your concern. I will keep you posted.

[This message has been edited by Always searching (edited June 27, 2000).]