various weekend activities

My ex is constantly giving me trouble about the activities our children are involved in on the weekend he has possession. Not wanting to drive them to it, etc. etc. Our divorce decree does not say anything about this either. Is there anything I can do to make him cooperate better? Or is he "required" to do this on his weekend or not?

I didn't put the state in the post above. It is in Texas. Sorry about this.

[LegalBeagle]

During the court ordered visitation he is not required to do anything that you tell him to or drive the child anywhere. That visitation is 'his time' and in some ways you are wrong to arrange activities that infring on his time...

Ok, now to reality... you do not state the age of the child which is important. You need to inform your ex that he indeed does not have to drive the child to the events but in refusing to do so, he will be stopping a major developement of the child and in time, the child will hate him for stopping them from going to these places. It is commonly documented that when the NCP refuses to take the children to such activities that they then start to refuse to go on the visitation.. Here is the choice this weekend kids.. soccer with your friends or visit with father...

No prizes for guessing which the children will pick.

He need to see that out of school activities are as important in a childs developement as school itself.



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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

[MySonsMom]

It depends upon if he agreed beforehand on the activities that affected "his time". Regardless of what's best for the kids, his time with the kids is his to do what he chooses. I don't beleive there is much you can do, but if you hadn't already consult him before you involve them in something that will affect his visitation..If he agrees to participate on his weekends, great...If he doesn't then really there is not a whole lot you can do. It's a sticky situation, but when he has the kids he is free to do what he wants with them as far as activities. It all boils down to the kind of relationship that you all have..If it's decent then weekend activities can be a great success...If it's rotten then you may encounter problems. (as you probably know) Good luck!

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**MySonsMom**
~There is no love like the unconditional love of a Mother~

Thanks for both of your advice. MySonsMom are you saying that I should discuss with him before the children, ages 10 ,12 & 14, are enrolled in various activities that involve his weekends?

[MySonsMom]

Absolutely! Then he may feel that he has *some* control over a decision. Let him decide if it is something he is able to do. If he has a schedule that prohibits him to drive them places, offer to come and pick the kids up yourself to take them to such events. He has visitation, and you don't have the right to schedule activities and plan his weekends/days for him. That may be the problem right there, he may be not cooperating because he feels he has no control over his visitation. Discuss ANYTHING that affects his weekends, if he agrees them great. If he does not, then don't enroll them in that activity. Good luck!

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**MySonsMom**
~There is no love like the unconditional love of a Mother~

Thanks again MySonsMom. Do you think if he brought this up in court that a judge would tell me the same thing you told me or would he hold me in contempt or anything for not doing this.

[MySonsMom]

Will you be held in contempt for scheduling activities on his time? No, he (judge) will just explain to you what was explained here.

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**MySonsMom**
~There is no love like the unconditional love of a Mother~

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MySonsMom:
[b]Will you be held in contempt for scheduling activities on his time? No, he (judge) will just explain to you what was explained here.
[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not entirely correct.. if this is forced to go all the way to a judge and throughout all that time, the mother has failed to listen to reason or failed to comply, then the judge will not waste their time by just explaining what would already have been said. He would probably hold her in contempt and order her specifically to stop scheduling activities on 'his time'.

Generally, before legal action is started, the petitioner will/should write a letter and ask them to stop. This should be the first warning sign that action is coming. The next letter should be from a proper attorney and this should 'tell' the person that they are days away from being served. Then comes the summons to appear. If they have failed to comply before this point then it will be up to the petitioner to proceed if the parent then decides to comply.

Of course, you could also just get a summons and no preceeding letters.. and you will be liable for his court costs and legal fees.


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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

Does he need documentation for so long to take this before a judge or will judge just listen to him about this?

One more and last question, I promise. If we are already going back to court on another issue, can he just bring this up as contempt or does he need to file another motion or anything else?

[MySonsMom]

The problem I have with your response legalbeagle..is that she didn't *force* him to take the kids to their activities..She scheduled them and he didn't have to take them...But it sounds like he has and just recently has voiced a problem with it. How can she be held in contempt for simply scheduling activities..? From my understanding, she didn't deny his visitation, just told him that they had this scheduled and then the Father took them..or didn't. How can she be held in contempt for that?

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**MySonsMom**
~There is no love like the unconditional love of a Mother~

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by curios2000:
[b]Does he need documentation for so long to take this before a judge or will judge just listen to him about this?[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He does not really need documentation unless you intent to lie in court and say that no activities are taking place. If the judge asks you if there is activities then you have to say yes..

As regards to the contempt.. you have to take into account how the court appearence comes about.. if he is filing just on that issue and it is obvious to a judge that you refuse to listen or change, then he will find you in contempt. If it is brought up as part of the other action then he may just tell you to stop it.. it all depends on the attitude of the approach or how deep your refusal is.

Basically, you do not have a legal leg to stand on.. all you can do is try and educate him in the importance of the activities and also make him realise that if he should force you to stop all of them for the children, they WILL hate him for it...


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Psst.. I am not an attorney, and even if I was, I would not tell you. What I am giving you is not legal advice in anyway. For proper legal advice, retain a person who openly admits they are an attorney.

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MySonsMom:
[b]The problem I have with your response legalbeagle..is that she didn't *force* him to take the kids to their activities..She scheduled them and he didn't have to take them...But it sounds like he has and just recently has voiced a problem with it. How can she be held in contempt for simply scheduling activities..? From my understanding, she didn't deny his visitation, just told him that they had this scheduled and then the Father took them..or didn't. How can she be held in contempt for that?
[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

but.. for it to reach all the way to a judge, it will have gotten much more serious and she would obviously be refusing to change... You are correct in normal conversation, be the question was on if a judge would see it that way. The answer to that is no, if it goes before a judge then she has refused to change.. therefore he will find her in contempt.

See the difference ?

What he is probably doing is wanting her to be the bad person by telling the children that they can not have weekend events instead of HIM telling them he is not taking them... children are not stupid and even if she does not explain why she has cancelled the events, they will know...

[MySonsMom]

I understand what you are saying, but the part that confuses me is the part when she would refuse to change? If she wants to schedule events for the children, she can..If it falls on a time when they are with the Dad he has the choice to take them or not...It had nothing to do with her. So she could be held in contempt for that? Maybe im missing something.

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**MySonsMom**
~There is no love like the unconditional love of a Mother~