WHAT am I entitled to IF it comes down to DIVORCE?

[betrayedone]

Hello, this is my first time ever to this site and board and I hope I do this right. I'm in a marriage of 2.5 years and I deeply love my husband, more than ANYthing on this earth and our relationship had been beautiful until August 4h, 2000 when I caught him in a lie and confronted him....he refused to talk to me about it and still does. Things have changed between us though I still love him with all my heart, he isn't as sweet and loving, though he's nice to me mostly, just gets nasty and hateful from time to time and refuses to talk ONE bit about the lie I caught him in. When talking with close friends, they advise me to leave him, he doesn't deserve me. That's easier said than done because a) I have NOT worked since I moved from my hometown and married him (that's been 3 years) and b) I have NO money to even get an attorney to ask the questions I NEED answered before I seek a divorce, if it comes to that. My question is this....WHAT am I entitled to, IF we go the way of divorce, even though I've not worked and the house we are in was built before we met (though BOTH of our names are now on the mortgage). He also has a hefty sum in a 401 (k) that he has always refered to as OUR money and he makes good money. IF I were to divorce him tomorrow, I'd be penniless and homeless, but IF this bad treatment of me BY HIM continues I guess I have no choice. However, I wanted to know if ANYbody knew what I'd be fairly entitled to if it came to divorce? COULD he be forced to put the house up for sale and split that proceed with me, COULD he be forced to give me part or half of the 401(k) money and COULD he be forced to pay ME some kind of monthly support since I have not worked since marrying him? I'd so much appreciate ANY advise anyone could give, I'm at my wits end and I spend my days and nights crying...he was my dream man, the only one I've ever loved and I've done everything for him and our home for the past 2.5 years and now my world is crumbling...my friends say if he can't appreciate me and treat me right, then I should hit HIM where it hurts, in his wallet. Please advise, anybody! Blessings!

 

[LegalBeagle]

I did not see your state.. which is absolutely critical when dealing with property.

Also, I never see why there is a question to be answered as to divorce.. if he is trying you like this then leave.. regardless of what you can get. Start looking for a job now..

 

[Tigres]

Dear Betrayed One,

Your husband is being nasty and mean? Caught him in a lie? (Not in the act?) He shows no remorse and feels that it is perfectly alright? LEAVE NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN! That's right. By staying with him, you are giving him your express permission to continue treating you like absolute crap. That doesn't mean you are to blame for it. It means your marriage is not going to heal itself and as long as you stay with him it will continue to get worse. Who Knows? Perhaps your leaving him will allow him to wake up and smell the coffee. (My uncle and aunt got a divorce and remarried shortly after.) Perhaps he will wake up and smell someone else making him coffee. Then your friends are right about what sort of person he is.

Regardless, get a job now. Don't tell him your leaving until you do as that will only make things worse between you and who wants to live in a nightmare? (I have a friend who ironed her (ex)husband's uniform and made him breakfast and then left the house for good 30 minutes after he went to work.) I'm not saying this is for everyone, but why take chances if he's already being nasty?

Tig

P.S. The opinions expressed above are just that. Opinions. Only you can decide what to do. On top of that, only you can prevent forest fires. Only you. So spoke Smokey the Bear.

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I am not a lawyer. Any information relayed is merely my own experience or research.
In Egypt, Cats were once worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

"PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG."

[This message has been edited by Tigres (edited September 19, 2000).]